Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Are you still good friends with your university friends?

79 replies

Willowdenedixon · 25/02/2019 18:04

Wondering if I’m unusual in that I haven’t really kept in touch with anyone from my uni days nor did I ever have a big gang of mates when I was there?
Everyone else I knowseems to have met their closest friends during this time of their life who are all now their bridesmaids, children’s godmother, etc.
While I did plenty of socialising, most were friends for that particular time only, I knew them from different places, so they weren’t one big gang and I don’t really look back on these days as ‘the glory days’.
Anyone else?

OP posts:

leghairdontcare · 25/02/2019 18:09

I actually went to the same uni as 3 of my close friends from school and we're now all 'mum friends'. I made one other good friend at uni, we went on to live together after graduating 15 years ago and been close friends since.

I don't think it matters either way.

unicorncupcake · 25/02/2019 18:10

I met DH at uni and our closest friends are still from that time, although we don’t see them all that often now that we’re all spread out. My uni housemates are like sisters to me, literally any big news good or bad I tell them first although I probably only see them once a year now. It probably helped that the vast majority of us moved to London for our first jobs and lived in crappy flats and houseshares for years and so there were lots of house parties and birthdays in central London. We’ve all gradually moved out to raise families etc. Had half term last week and saw three friends from uni with their kids. I graduated in 2002. The flip side is that I don’t really have many ‘mum friends’ so it’s swings and roundabouts really.

Lumene · 25/02/2019 18:12

Yes but no one from school.

Blinkingblimey · 25/02/2019 18:14

Only in regular contact with 2 friends from uni!

Original poster

Willowdenedixon · 25/02/2019 18:15

Lumene, I have kept in touch with people from school (although we mostly all live in different places) and people after university. It just seems like everyone else was their ideal selves in their student days!

OP posts:

Original poster

Willowdenedixon · 25/02/2019 18:16

It don’t think it matters either way, just that I seem to be an oddity amongst most people for no longer having friends from that time in my life!

OP posts:

Hushabyelullaby · 25/02/2019 18:18

I met DH, our best man, and two others who I'm good friends with. I don't think it matters where you meet people though, my oldest and closest friend is from school, another one I met through a mutual interest, and one I worked with many years ago.

wendz86 · 25/02/2019 18:19

I am only still friends with 3. One lives in Australia so I can’t see her much . The other two we meet up once or twice a year .

ValleyoftheHorses · 25/02/2019 18:21

Yes.
Not in touch from anyone from school except via FB.
Only in touch with one friend from my course.
In regular touch with friends from a Uni Club. We have an annual big weekend away with children and partners and other regular meet ups. Probably see someone from the group at least monthly, usually more often. Our children are becoming friends too.
I feel very lucky to have them.

BlingLoving · 25/02/2019 18:21

It's true that my "best" friends are from uni days. I'm not sure it's because I was my "ideal" self but because it's a period during which you have a lot of time to build friendships and you're learning and growing and becoming an adult at the same time so the people you connect with are people who really are "your people". If that makes sense?

I certainly don't hark back to those days and wouldn't go back for anything though!

I don't think it's weird that your uni friends aren't your best though. Perhaps for you it was different times that led to those friendships being so cemented?

My school year recently had a big reunion. Not only did I have zero interest in going, I was quite surprised at how few of the names/photos I recognised. I am in touch with a few friends from those days but as it turns out most of my high school days and people are just a blur. I remember the time relatively fondly, but doesn't seem to change the fact that I have no memory of these people and am slightly bemused by all the fondness they use when talking about school on the facebook group (especially one or two who I DO remember and who I am certain were NOT fond of school at the time! )

bedunkalilt · 25/02/2019 18:24

If it makes you feel any better, I’m the same!

I have loose contact with a couple of school friends (very loose, more like connected via social media and meet up for coffee once a year, maybe). None with anyone from uni, I met plenty of people, got on with people, sometimes had lunch/dinner with people etc - but didn’t fall into a big gang of friends that I’ve been close with ever since. I spent most of my time outside of studying doing shift work

Friends I have now are all people I have met through work or shared interests. Tbh if you were to analyse my list of friends it would look like I suddenly appeared in the world at 22yo

Boxlikeahare · 25/02/2019 18:24

I am 50 and my two best friends are from my Uni days. A third one went a bit odd along the way and dropped out of our scene about six years ago due to her man friend at the time.

We don't live anywhere near each other at all but get together three or so times a year and it is like we never stopped flatsharing.

whatswithtodaytoday · 25/02/2019 18:26

No. I had close friends at the time, but the group dynamic was a bit odd (a couple and the guy's best mate as the basis of the group), and they went their own ways after uni and didn't contact me. I was upset for a while but it's 15 years ago now, whatever!

My closest friends are from school and college, and then newer friends since I moved town 10 years ago.

ZenNudist · 25/02/2019 18:32

Met dh at uni and both of us have best friends we are still in touch with. Going on holiday with various uni friends on 3 separate occasions this year. My larger grouo is dwindling but we get together once a year to get smashed
Uni friends were bridesmaids and best men etc at pur wedding.

Dont have any friends from school. Lost touch with most of my nct/baby friends. I reckon if you can hang on to one true friend from any period in your life youre doing really well.

showerpower · 25/02/2019 18:34

Yes, a group of us who meet up once a year

NataliaOsipova · 25/02/2019 18:38

Not really - still see one pretty regularly, but lost touch with most of the others. I am, however, still very good friends with people I was at university with who weren’t my friends while we actually there and I got to know immediately after we left (all ended up working in the same area).

BillyAndTheSillies · 25/02/2019 18:40

Only in touch via social media, mainly Instagram.
Had lots of different circles of friends at uni, no main group and think if I had, it would be different.
Lots of people from uni still meet up regularly but they went in to the same industry in a large city close to where we went to uni (north west), but I moved back to London and my work path went in a different direction.
My DH's best friend is someone he met at uni.

DollyWilde · 25/02/2019 18:42

All my closest friends are uni friends - 4 were my bridesmaids. On the other hand I’m one of the only people I know who isn’t friends with anyone from ‘home’ or school. I was bullied a lot before uni so basically started from scratch at 18. We all find our tribe at different times, and for different purposes - as my sister, whose close friends are all from school, or my mum, whose close friends are still her nct lot 30 years later, would tell me

yorkshirepud44 · 25/02/2019 18:42

Yes, got some really good friends from uni that I still count as some of my best friends years later. We don't live anywhere near each other but have an ongoing WhatsApp conversation and meet up at least 2 or 3 times a year.

beela · 25/02/2019 18:46

Not really, but I know if we all met up again we'd have a brilliant time. I'm female but my friendship group was mostly blokes if that makes any difference (sometimes harder to keep those friendships going on an individual basis once people start getting married?).

My best friends now are mainly pre-uni ones. Male & female, plus spouses and children. I'm 40.

Original poster

Willowdenedixon · 25/02/2019 19:34

Dolly I have heard it said that you have your friends for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

OP posts:

BuildAParsnip · 25/02/2019 19:40

I have three best friends, one from secondary school, one from university and one from my antenatal group.

I have other friends including one v close work friend, who I've picked up on the way through life. I do have a wonderful group from university but we see each other infrequently because of where we live. It's always really special when we do get together.

After a while it doesn't really matter where the friendship originated.

Bezalelle · 25/02/2019 19:41

I am only friends with one of my uni mates. I made my best and longest standing friendships when I lived abroad for 8 years between the age of 27 and 35.

Neighneigh · 25/02/2019 19:42

Being the unsociable type that I am, I had about five friends at uni (graduated 2001). I'm only friends with one of them on fb, but i did marry one of them too! The others I have no idea about now.

Lumene · 25/02/2019 20:03

Willow I feel the same way about not keeping I. Touch with people from school, lol.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread