I feel selfish to want to remember my DD

[ChelseaLoseAgain]

My Dd died when she was 9 days old.
She was very sick & I have no illusions that she would have made it.
She would have been 21 today.
They are forgotten. I see her & miss her

Happy birthday Poppy.

Can I ask why you say “selfish”? Has anyone said anything to you to make you think you are being selfish?

Aw Chelsea have you ever had counselling or tried to find a local bereavement support group such as SANDS? I used an online discussion group for a while which was a great help. I go to occasional meetings and it's good to talk about Ds to others who understand. It was good for you to tell your partners Ds today. It's good to include Poppy in your family unit and say her name.

You did nothing wrong! As you say, it's nature, shit and all as that it.

Our first son sadly also died just a few days old, 11 years ago now. Every year on his birthday we do something fun as a family, theme park etc.
He is very much part of our immediate family and we talk about him etc.

However, I do appreciate that for other relatives and friends it's not so easy to understand that it still hurts every day. The assumption being we're "over it". I find it's only others who've been through this who understand that you don't get over the loss but learn to live with it.

You didn't do anything wrong, I am sure you were a wonderful mother during Poppy's unfortunately short life

She has a beautiful name. I think that doing something on her birthday every year is a lovely idea, and agree with a PP that maybe sponsoring a child in her name may help.

Big hugs from me

Happy Birthday Poppy. Such a beautiful nme.

OP please remember her with your head held high. Nothing selfish about doing so.

Huge hugs x

Happy birthday beautiful Poppy

Happy birthday to your young lady and a gentle hug, op. Of course you need to remember!

Never selfish.

Happy birthday, lovely Poppy.

Thank you all so much 💐
DP & I are having a quiet glass of wine.
DP (not sure how as no one near him) managed to knock over his glass.
We both laughed & said ‘Bloody Poppy ! Knocking over a glass because she’s not the centre of attention ‘ she’ll always be a diva
But my diva 👩‍🎤

We lost our first baby when I was 16 weeks pregnant. At friend who is a physicist explained that once energy is created it cannot disappear, it can only change its form. So in some way, in some form or other our lost children never disappear and this is a scientific fact.

happy birthday Poppy.

you are right. You carried her. She came in this world. Lived even if for a bit. She was here, with you and will always remain a part of you. You are not selfish to remember her.