Feeling uncomfortable about the thought of breastfeeding

[LittleNia]

Bit ashamed to actually vocalise this, but feel worse saying it out loud and I'm hoping on here someone may have felt the same and overcome it.

I'm just over halfway through my pregnancy, it's my first baby. The topic of how I'm planning to feed the baby is coming up more and more often and I don't know why it's making me so anxious but it really is. I just feel so uncomfortable with the thought of breastfeeding, I hate the idea of it, I hate the thought of the pain, the leaking through your clothes, the thought of having to pump. I'm just weirded out about it all. I mentioned at the beginning to dhs family upon questioning that I'm thinking of using formula from birth and was told that's utterly ridiculous and you have to atleast give it a go, it's the most natural thing you can do and selfish to not try.

I just feel like I've already lost the battle in my head, If I'm this against it surely I'm bound to fail even if I try. I haven't got a single positive feeling and not even the slightest desire to breastfeed but I feel so guilty about it. I guess I've never been comfortable with my breasts which doesn't really help, my whole teenage years even the smallest double A bras didn't fit me, I was flatter than some boys. I paid for breast implants just to take me up to a B/C cup, but that was before these things were more common place and more heavily judged, I still feel they are to an extent now so I still never became comfortable with them due to that fact and almost feel ashamed about having the surgery. I'm not sure if any of this is related but I'm just trying to pinpoint exactly what feels so wrong to me.

Did anyone just really not want to breastfeed but then managed it? Maybe ended up enjoying it? I'd use formula from birth in a heartbeat I don't want to be letting my son down by not even trying.

Another who is very pro breastfeeding. Fed 4 DCs up to a year through cracked bleeding nipples, mastitis etc. DC4 struggled to gain weight, still I persisted - refusing to give formula, feeding, feeding, feeding.

But I am more pro-choice. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to - it’s not compulsory.

Since the second you announce your preganacy every fucker has an opinion.

This is entirely your decision.

Get a Savoy cabbage in the fridge for the early days of engorgement. Don’t know why but the cold leaves down your bra are incredibly soothing.

My friends mum didn’t want her to breastfeed - because she was worried people would think she couldn’t afford formula 😳

It’s really no one else’s business

I had zero desire to BF. So I didn't.

The idea made me feel really uncomfortable and freaked out.

My mam BF my younger siblings couldn't wean them until well into toddlerhood and I didn't want that for me.

My DH read the stuff MW gave me on BF and he says it sounds like a mad cult!
It was a magazine largely written by LLL and I can see what he means, it is very pressuring!

I was FF, my mum tried and failed BF and I’m fine so I’m happy to FF, but will probably give BF a try if possible as I am mildly curious about it. My concerns are about being permanently attached to baby and not being able to ride my horse!

You don’t have to decide until baby is here.

"Childhood diabetes" isn't very clear as a term, that's why I was asking you to clarify (adults have type one diabetes and a very small minority of children have type two - they are completely separate conditions). JDRF is probably a better source of commentary on the issue jdrf.org.uk/news/how-are-breastfeeding-and-gut-bacteria-linked-in-type-1-diabetes/

There's definitely a lot that's not known about how bf interacts with the gut biome and what role that may play in the development of some autoimmune conditions for example.

In the study you link to, initiating breastfeeding is what seems to reduce risk of developing type one diabetes so it's worth trying for a few days if you can. There are lots of conflicting studies though that say that breastfeeding has no proven benefit in this regard. Ultimately though there are lots of people who have the conditions you list who were breastfed.

I honestly found the thought of breast feeding really horrific, unnatural and a little bit gross. I actually posted on here at the time that I felt terrible for feeling that way. People really helped as they said happy mum, happy baby and as long as your baby is fed, it doesn't really matter whether it's formula or breast. But you know what? After a really tough labour, it suddenly did feel natural and I was determined to make it work. It does take work to get the hang of it and to get the milk flowing, so I can see why so many people give up. But if it's any comfort I did not have any problems with sore nipples, I never leaked (didn't even open the packet of nipple pads!), and it was the most amazing bonding experience which I did for 6 months. So try not to worry, it doesn't have to be a terrible experience. But also you don't have to do it. Enjoy your baby. It's a wonderful time that is over so quickly.

OP, the majority of the post war “baby boomer” generation were formula fed, and we’re the healthiest and longest lived generation in history!
I was FF myself, and FF my own DC - we’re all normal weight, have no allergies and no illnesses. My DC had over 98% attendance records at primary and rarely saw the GP apart from routine immunisations.
It really doesn’t matter how you feed your baby - go with whatever you’re comfortable with.

I would just say that not everyone who breastfeeds leaks at all or needs to pump. So those two may not apply

Ultimately though there are lots of people who have the conditions you list who were breastfed

Of course there are. And tons of FF babies who don’t have them - but statistically if you BF your child is less likely to develop any of the conditions. That’s just fact.

'Speaking as someone who never liked my own breasts, it was nice that they served a real, non-decorative purpose. No one will love your boobs as much as your baby, guaranteed, no matter what they look like.'

PineapplePower put that really nicely. I don't like my breasts, too big, not part enough but I am in awe they feed my almost 6 month old DS, with a little bit of help with formula to let me sleep. DS is not a sleeper!!

However, it's very much your own choice. I am very envious of my FF friends that get a night off from feeding their babies every so often.

Like some other people, I have never needed to use breast pads, never leaked through my clothes, and don't express often, only to help with comfort if I've had an especially long lie and my husband has given him a bottle.

Best of luck whatever your decision!

Just make your own decision (or probably better, don't make a decision at all right now) and don't worry about what anyone says. Don't be drawn in to a conversation with them about it, you don't need the stress. Just say "we'll see what happens" and change the subject.

I ff from birth and loved it honestly, but many people have had great bf experiences. It's up to you and either is fine.

I don't like the thought of breastfeeding and I won't. It's completely up to you x