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Original poster

Worried Sick! Please calm me down

88 replies

Quiltedflossy · 24/02/2019 05:24

I've started a thread to try and calm myself.
Admittedly I'm a worrier but I'm panicking.
DS went out with mates last night. He has before stayed out till 3/4 am but it's not a regular thing. He's pretty good and usually txts to say he's in a taxi or whatever. This morning I went to the loo 3am, he's not back.
4am he sends me video of him and some others in a car, loud music playing, screaming and laughing. I assume it's not a taxi because of the music/noise.
I reply and ask where he's going but had no reply. No WhatsApp activity since the car video.
I'm so worried Sad

OP posts:
LostInShoebiz · 24/02/2019 10:28

Then you completely misunderstood (as was patently obvious), and I have shown you this was the case in the step by step illustration above to which your rather childish response was that I need coffee or to spend some time outside.

SpanielEars070 · 24/02/2019 10:32

We've all been there OP. My 23 yr old put me into a tailspin last year telling me she'd ring us to get her from town when she was ready... I woke in a jump at 4am with no messages from her and her phone going straight to voicemail. I rang the Police at 6am as I was so worried who said they had no record of her but would keep an eye out - they were so reassuring and lovely.

Turns out her BF had ended up in the same club so she'd gone home with him and was very drunk Hmm. She rang at 11am after seeing I'd been frantically whatsapping her at 4am. I'm glad I'd had the chance to calm down before seeing/talking to her as I would have gone batshit. As it was, we had a talk about if she's still living at home, she needs to respect that we worry and if she says she wants collecting then we're going to worry if we don't hear from her. She was really embarrassed and upset that we'd been in such a worry.

Your mum "panic" hormone is no less active when they're adults than when they are toddlers Flowers

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 24/02/2019 10:41

And you think excessive alcohol consumption is fine when one of them was driving?

Who said the driver was drinking??? Presumtion just like the cocaine

I was in a british seaside town once, and the b&b i was staying in had a set up that breakfast was actually served at a pub just down the road and as my friend and i were going out for breakfast at 7.45 a group of adults a little older than OPs son, came passed obviously they had been excessively drinking so much so they'd been swimming in their clothes (yup stupid to swim in the sea while drunk) and one of the group said oh hello are you getting "home" too to which her clearly sober companion went no i think their just going out its nearly 8.

My point is just because OPs son and otjers were drunk doesnt mean they all were

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 24/02/2019 10:51

That’s one example of a young person being sober while all his friends had been drinking Confused

Do you think that all people have a designated driver or something?!

Original poster
Quiltedflossy · 24/02/2019 10:52

I've never asked him to txt me when he's out. I say I just like to know if he is coming home or not. It's him who started texting to say he's in the taxi or whatever. That's why last night was so odd with the video.
Like a pp if I go to the loo at night, which is a frequent occurance! I breath a sigh of relief if his door is closed as I know he's home.
I must try not to worry I know! It's just me and him at home now which probably doesn't help.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 24/02/2019 10:59

I would hazard a guess the video was supposed to be sent to a friend OP but he sent it by mistake to you.

Cynderella · 24/02/2019 11:19

My adult children are all trackable on Find My Friends - I am too. We used Live 360 or something like that when one of them had an android phone.

Lots of people find it creepy, but the suggestion came from them. If they want to, they can turn it off, but the arrangement is that if anyone is out for the night, it's on so that if there's any problem, we can all see where they are or were when phone was last on.

I don't think any of us look at it much, but it's there. In OP's situation, I would be asking for it to be used on nights out. If he says no, well that's a no, but if he doesn't mind, it avoids sleepless nights.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 24/02/2019 11:21

Do you think thatallpeople have a designated driver or something?!

You make the assumtion yhey dobt

Justaboy · 24/02/2019 11:25

Do what I do with DD3 i've gpot the numbers of most all her mates. Some of them are far more communicative than what she is!.

Shouldnt have to but if I just need to know that shes alright we did have a near miss some months ago;!

LightAsTheBreeze · 24/02/2019 11:35

Glad all is OK, OP

DS used to do this, it's a lot easier when they have left home and not there to constantly worry about what time they do or don't get in.

Oh yes and the going to loo at night bit and seeing if they are in, I used to do that.

Original poster
Quiltedflossy · 24/02/2019 13:12

well, the video was for me! It was a girlfriend of one of the lads driving. she offered to pick them up and drop them home. DS lives in the opposite direction so hence staying at the ex house.
He's apologised and I said if he had just left me a txt saying he wouldn't be home then I could have slept.
I won't be asking him for his phone to be tracked, I think that's probably a bit too much

OP posts:
ChishandFips33 · 24/02/2019 23:08

I think you've handled this well - having the video sent would have sent me worrying too

Sounds like you've brought your boy up well and trust him to do the right thing

Original poster
Quiltedflossy · 25/02/2019 11:54

thankyou chisandfips that's nice to hearFlowers

OP posts:
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