Very intelligent but failure in the workplace?

[dublinruth]

I was a very clever child. Scholarships, MENSA, etc. Everyone thought I had an exceptionally bright future.

Except.. my intelligence doesn't really mean anything in the workplace. It hasn't translated to career success. I'm now ten years into my career, doing specialised admin work that bores me silly but pays OK.

Has anyone else found that being intelligent just doesn't translate into being good at work. I feel such a failure and see people I went to school with having great careers and can't help but to feel a huge amount of jealousy.

Has anyone else found this?

That is me too. I am well educated, interested in current affairs and always trying to better myself but have never really gotten very far career wise. I am a secretary and constantly feel people look down at me.
I wish I had made better choices and not just assumed that I would do well because I was top of the class.

Calling oneself names like 'lazy' 'indecisive' and 'lacking drive' is also spectacularly unhelpful as a career strategy, because it makes you feel rubbish about yourself, which in turn makes you less likely to put yourself out there for consideration.

I admit I do procrastinate when it comes to job-hunting. But it's not so much down to laziness (not wanting to work) as fear and stress and finding myself wanting, and - importantly - not being able to cope with risk and chance and unfairness and the whole massive headfuck that is trying to work out how people see me and wondering if there is a damn thing I can do to look like the person that they want, while wondering if my understanding of my manner and the sort of person they want is even right. Sometimes I have to give myself a break from these kinds of challenges.

I have wondered about ASD, but never quite register on the scale. My processing of speech, however, is not as instant as most people's, even with hearing aids (I have had a hearing loss all my life), and I think this may be why my social timing is a bit off the pace.

My judge in my divorce told me I was intelligent and therefore I would easily get a full time job at the ripe old age of 53 even though I haven’t worked for 20 years and have depression ( diagnosed with PTSD in last job - off work for a year and never worked again) for which I receive PIP. Once my divorce was over my depression would disappear even though I’ve been under mental health support twice and therefore I did not need spousal maintenance!

Well I expect this judge is also intelligent but even when I wasn’t working and I thought I was in a “happy” marriage I still suffered with bouts of depression that required medication and counselling, would keep me awake all night and not be able to function much during the day - that really looking in from the outside I had “no reason” to be depressed!

So actually I would say this judge is as thick as shit - I know myself well enough that some days I can function others I can’t - no idea when it will hit or for how long - believe me I wish I could cure myself I lose days when I have so much I want to do but can’t due to brain fog - or just plain can’t get out of bed!
Prior to this I had a good job that I loved and was earning back then what today is a good salary but I couldn’t take the risk of relying on being able to work now to give me everything else that is a “marker of success”

I’m moving 200 miles away to maximise the settlement I got - shafted by x and lawyers and courts - kids have been through hell and their lives have not followed the path I hoped - but I have done my best - x has been a c&&t - but I’m blowed if I’m going to continually risk my mental health because someone has told me I need to be working full time when for me it is NOT POSSIBLE,

ladies a job and a salary is not a measure of your intelligence - knowing who you bloody are, what you can do and can’t do, what you enjoy and don’t enjoy is and going with this regardless of what everyone else is doing I believe is where we find ourselves! I bloody hope so because I am having to make really hard choices in doing this and it’s not been easy!

Workplace success has definitely not been directly linked to academic success in any of the workplaces I've been in. I've regularly found in recruitment that a clutch of stellar qualifications on a cv doesn't necessarily translate to a good interview. It's no longer the first thing we look for.

I do use the specific skills I gained in my degree but it's a sideline to my main job, which relies mainly on emotional intelligence, relationship building and negotiation skills.

I went through a period of being slightly concerned that ds wasn't setting the academic world alight, but he's got social and interpersonal skills in spades and I honestly think that will see him through.

This is a really interesting thread as I've thought about this a great deal.

@SwimmingJustKeepSwimming
I think its funny on mn and irl when everyone is angling for their kids to be top set/top of the class/Russel group uni and Im kind of thinking, "its not all that." Id love to know how to support my kids to succeed where I havent.
Exactly, you have taken the words right out of my mouth. This is another reason why I still will not be successful in the workplace soon. I will end up in a low paid job and onbenefits so I can be there to support my kids. Its exactly what I lacked and generations in my family lacked. If you look into our history we have been in top sets and obtained scholarships. It really is not enough.

I’m like this - I even have a PhD. But because everything was always so easy, I never learned to apply myself, so while I do pretty well at work, I know I’m doing a just adequate job with about 50% of my ability. If I gave 100%, or even 80%, I’d be much more successful, but I’d rather spend half of my day on Facebook and Mumsnet. Especially since I had DS. it bothered me for the first couple of years after I returned from maternity leave, but now I’ve made my peace with it. So what if I don’t shake the world? I’m happy with what I have.

Yes, intelligence and success not necessarily linked in the workplace.

I don't feel a failure and I am intelligent I suppose (1st class degree from top uni etc) but I feel like I've never been able to go above and beyond at work - like you see some people who always come up with innovative ideas and change the way things are done, but although I think of myself as creative, I'm not sure I'll ever do more than just keep things ticking along efficiently rather than ever being a leader or an innovator.

I'm finally doing some management as a maternity cover and I'm feeling a little intimidated by my manager's remark on my half-year review that I should try to make a mark in my time in this role - as I'm not sure how. One of the people I'm managing is much better at that kind of thing!

Oh well, this time will be a good measure of whether I have risen to the level of my own incompetence.

I can relate.

Two undergraduate degrees. I’ve got good soft skills but I’ve yet to find something I excel at or enjoy.

It’s really getting me down. Only way out I can see is me setting up my own business.

Not me but my sister. We were both considered G&T as children, specialist programs and all that.

I went down a pretty standard route of university, graduate scheme at a prestigious firm, promotions, executive position.

My sister graduated from school, started university, had a first major crisis after somehow convincing herself she was too stupid to read Classics (despite an IQ of around 155), went on to train as a primary school teacher instead, worked as one for about a year after graduating, suffered another major breakdown and has been working pretty menial jobs ever since.

It's not a question of intelligence in her case but the fact that she lacks the mental resilience to cope with pressure. She's happy with her life and we're all happy for her. Everyone else in the family has pretty good to very good careers and we're all very supportive of her. My mum bought her house for her and myself her car.

My only worry about her is that I very much hope that she never feels she's imposing on us or a failure. None of us thinks she is, and we all know she's scary smart despite "only" being a waitress at present.

I don't know why you'd expect intelligence and career success to be linked really.

Attributes valuable in the workplace incude reliability, being personable, mentally present, adaptable, self-assured, able to work co-operatively and to recognise when to disengage from failing tasks, realign onself with others and push oneself forward.

Adequate intelligence for the task at hand is required, that's all. In many workplaces that does not mean very high intelligence. High intelligence is not closely related to the above attributes. It can be a distraction and a cause of self-pity, both of which are negative attributes.

Yeah, various degrees & stuff, super bright but basically unemployable in a job, where I have to people & stay there for hours on end.

Got DX with ADHD mid-forties, to my utter surprise. I have lots of gifts, being employed was not one of them.

Put simply OP, some of us can play the game regardless of intelligence and some can't/don't want to.

Any idea why your sister is like that takenforslanted? My dd is showing signs of being the same - terrified of getting things wrong, terrified of getting into trouble, no confidence and we can’t figure out why or what to do.

Yup. Super bright child and it's commented on regularly still now. Career involves writing which I excel at and it's well paid but I could be so much further on it I didn't have the attention span of a cracked-up gecko that has me leave jobs and go travelling or try something new every year.

I am a failure: mainly As at GCSE and A-level but can only just barely hold down a minimum wage job.

Diagnosed with ASD at 36 which explained it all. Also suspect ADD or ADHD.

Hey ho.

I was always top of my class until I went to secondary school. Suddenly, I was average.

I worked in mainly average jobs for years. In my late 40s/50s I found my voice. I ended up as the only one on the senior leadership team without a degree. But with more self confidence than any one of them. By that age, I trusted my intelligence, I didn't need a paper to tell me that I was ok. I knew I was.

I was part of that NAGTY thing, national academy for gifted talented youth

Always breezed exams

What am I doing now?

Pot washing while doing my degree and an aspiring writer

Oh my gosh this is so true, I had actually been thinking about starting a thread about it (but didn't because I'm such a procrastinator!)

I did well at school, went to a good university and got a good degree. Whilst I'm not minimum wage, I haven't set the world alight in any way, and I look at other people I know, almost all of whom did 'worse' than me qualifications wise, doing far better than me careers wise.

I put it down to a total lack of self confidence, over analysing everything, not pushing myself forward enough and just having no faith in my own ability.

I wish I were different, but I have accepted its the way things are. I have a great life in many ways so I'm not complaining, but it's just something that has always niggled me.

This is me and I think I'm definitely getting stupider with each day I spend at work. I waste all day working and have no time or energy or will to do anything afterwards.

I used to be really curious, read a lot and enjoyed learning things, including languages.

I kind of fell into an administrative role after university as well because I pursued a degree in what I was interested in instead of what I could turn into a career. I assumed that things would be okay and they're not.

I haven't RTFT but I think success at work (unless a very data specific role) is more dependent on EQ (emotional intelligence) than IQ.

Some of the most inspiring people I have worked with have been very good with people and able to think creatively to solve problems - both of which are different than taking exams/writing essays.

My brother is MUCH cleverer than me but I am more successful - but then I work much harder!

I think self-assurance, a good work ethic and a loud voice tend to bring greater success

Yup. I am bright and did ok at work - but can see that a crippling lack of self confidence, and failure to be assertive with rubbish managers held me back in getting the projects and experience that I really wish I had now.

Like a pp, I worry about my eldest who takes after me in personality.

Not me but my two best friends at school. We've lost touch now but occasionally text and I know what they're up to.

They were both gifted and talented, both excelled at everything and their parents/teachers all told them they were the best thing since sliced bread. A*s all the way at school. I still did very well, but didn't get noticed or have the edge that they did. I was in the top sets but probably the worst student in the classroom.

When we hit A levels they still did well and it came pretty easy, whereas I had to graft for it. We all went to uni, I did a vocational degree which I knew would lead to a job, they both went to Russel Group unis to do more traditional subjects.

One had a total breakdown and finished with a 2:2 in a subject where any job would be extremely competitive even with a 1st. She now works in an admin capacity but has had bouts of unemployment lasting up to a year since she finished, ever job requires "too much" or they've "taken advantage of her intelligence"

The other friend is still at uni doing her 3rd qualification and has never worked She doesn't know anything aside from academia, because that's all her parents ever told her was important.

I on the other hand have continued to enjoy the job I trained for with my degree, and have been promoted and am aiming for management. I honestly think that because I had to work a lot harder at school and I was never really noticed, it gave me more determination. I know how good it felt to work for something, push for it and achieve through my own determination. When my friends went to parents evenings, they were just told that they could do whatever they wanted - but they couldn't as it turns out because they didn't have the drive or ambition required.

I have a few other clever friends who haven't set the world on fire either. I don't measure success based on money or salary really, but my mum always says that she feels a bit smug now because all the mums in the playground used to brag about how clever their kids were but it hasn't really got them anywhere. For my kids I want to set them the example that doing your best at school is great but not to worry if they're not top all the time, as hard work and determination can sometimes mean more.

It's a shame really that all of these values aren't alluded to at school and at college. Where I went, they just wanted to get as many students into good unis for their stats. They weren't interested in anyone who wanted to apply for apprenticeships post a level, or people wanting to do vocational courses. But lots of these red brick uni students haven't done any better in life for going.. (I can think of a fair few just at my college!)

My eldest two were reasonably successful but not amazing at school. One was bright but lazy, one probably has ADD.

They’ve actually both surprised me how well they’ve done since graduating. Lazy DS says turn up, be pleasant and polite, work reasonably hard and you’re already ahead of 90% of people. Butterfly brain DD has thought about where her strengths lie, basically being pleasant and chatting shit to people, and is absolutely flying in sales.

I think very bright but shy DC3 will be more of a challenge although I was similar and found my niche and did fine.

Having a job in sixth form/uni can be very helpful I think.

I think the missing link is common sense and no amount of academic learning can replace it

I do think you need to look at your personality and find your niche though. If you’re a bookish shy academic you are unlikely to make a great man manager of a big team. But you could be excellent at producing meticulous detailed reports.

I was very sharp but got bored quickly. I was really good at working out why a system was’t working very well, devising a new way to do it and then moving on to the next thing.

I think DS is just a good facilitator; he has a very likeable persona and is good at oiling the wheels and getting different factions to pull together.

Find your niche and you’ll be fine.