'If you had a brain it'd be lonely' & other charming memories of school

[PurpleLipstickAtHeart]

I had a teacher who used to say things like this. I loved him. We used to do 'reading in class' for half an hour every morning while he had his coffee and did the crossword

He was a stickler for grammar and arithmetic and used to recite poetry and hurl board dusters

I'm trying to remember some of his other lines. They don't make teachers like that any more.

The reading in class sounds great. Did he ask you if the crossword got a bit tricky?

We had a couple of teachers who we're regularly 20 minutes late for a lesson, we would send one person to stand outside to watch out for them while it was chaos inside the classroom.

We had 2 woodwork/metalwork rooms that were linked by a small store room. The teachers would regularly disappear for a while and you'd smell fag smoke coming from the store room. Can you imagine it now? Leaving a class with tools and going for a smoke, indoors!

We had a woodwork teacher who used to keep a cricket bat under his desk, if you were naughty you had to go to front of class, bend over and get hit on the arse with it
obviously for his own pleasure rather than our punishment

Can't call this charming and probably completely outing myself
We had two older spinster PE teachers - they would do knicker checks to ensure we were wearing regulation knickers.
I can still him the tune to our Scottish country dancing lessons in the name of PE

Anyone at my school will recognise it ASAP!!!

I was told to mime the words during singing. Teacher wasn't wrong.... I REALLY can't sing.