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Original poster

DH very ill in hospital - a bit of a manly punch in the arm needed for me if anyone’s up

82 replies

Adamcgrathagain · 19/02/2019 04:30

Not that it especially matters but I’ve been here since the day dot and lost my account in the recent GDPR bugger up at MN.

DH, DD (11) DS (7) and me have all had a type of flu for the last week. Me and the DCs are recovering. I spent all day in resus in accident and emergency with DH on Saturday as his breathing/coughing was terrible. I thought we needed an ambulance but they preferred I drove him in.

DH has now been admitted to the high dependency unit and has been on various face masks pushing high flow oxygen into him to try to proper reinflate his lungs. The diagnosis is pneumonia on both lungs. He’s on antivirals and antibiotics and is responding but only very very slowly. He’s struggling with the masks and has been told if he can’t tolerate those he’ll need to go to ITU be sedated, incubated and put on a ventilator. No one is able to give me a view as to prognosis but they’re clear he is seriously unwell and may soon tip over into critically unwell.

On the HDU advice me and DC went to the GPs yesterday am and have been told all our chests are clear. I’ve got laryngitis and a bad cough. My DM who lives close is staying with us to help and we’re just hoping she doesn’t catch the flu. So far so good on that front.

I cannot sleep for more than a few hours, can’t eat very well, can’t really even rest. The drs have all been saying i need to look after myself and I am trying. DH wants and is able to have me visit for about 20 mins a day for the last two days. My MIL and FIL visiting on Saturday and over night but have gone home (3 hour drive away) now.

All of this is compounded by the fact our son died at the same hospital 7 years ago (we found out he had very severe and unusual abonormalities when I was 5 1/2 months pregnant with him and were with GOSH for a while). We decided to end the pregnancy and DS1 was born and died at the hospital. 4 years ago my DB died as the result of an accident the day after an operation to remove a malignant brain tumour (the hospital let him go to the toilet by himself, he fell, hit his head and suffered a catastrophic brain bleed). All 3 births for me were traumatic (emergency section, DS1 s birth went wrong and left me and DH with PTSD). So I am not very good at hospitals and I am stressed beyond belief really.

And, sorry you’ve probably given up by now, I was diagnosed with a chronic health condition a year and a half ago and at times DH has to be my carer, depending on flare ups.

So really, has anyone had experience of double pneumonia like this? Any clue at all how long this nightmare might last?

OP posts:
WinkysTeatowel · 19/02/2019 04:34

Oh gosh. No experience of pneumonia so no advice but sounds like you're having a nightmare. Hope your DH recovers quickly and you start feeling better too. Thanks

arkela · 19/02/2019 04:35

I don't have any experience of pneumonia but I'm so sorry for all you been through, and are going through. It sounds horrendously stressful. I'll be praying for your husband tonight.

Desmondo2016 · 19/02/2019 04:35

I've no idea on the medical front but wanted to send you a middle of the night hug. Your dh is in the best hands and it sounds like you need yo make sure you have the right support in place as you have already been through so much thats its completely understandable a medical crisis, or just being at that hospital, could trigger your ptsd

Original poster
Adamcgrathagain · 19/02/2019 04:36

Thansk Winky. Feels horribly lonely to be honest.

OP posts:
crabb · 19/02/2019 04:37

Hi Adamcgrathagain, no knowledge of pneumonia I’m sorry, but here to keep you a bit of company. You’ve been through the wringer with hospitals, your anxiety level must be sky high 😞. You know your DH is in the best place but that doesn’t stop the worrying. Hang in there Flowers

Cric · 19/02/2019 04:38

ThanksThanksThanksThanks

Original poster
Adamcgrathagain · 19/02/2019 04:39

Thanks Arkels. All prayers very gratefully received. I’m almost certain there is more after life than we know so I have offered up thoughts today to any higher being that there might be. Along with a bit of a telling off for allowing yet more hospital based crap into our lives.

Thanks Desmondo. I still have counselling once a week and am trying to keep a lid on the anxiety.

OP posts:
Southlonmum · 19/02/2019 04:39

Sorry to hear this didn't want to read and run. You have been through alot, wishing your husband a speedy recovery and for you to have brighter times ahead of you.

Original poster
Adamcgrathagain · 19/02/2019 04:41

Thanks Crabb and Cric.

My anxiety is mainly health based (for obvious reasons) and social anxiety (I have always assumed people would loathe me if they knew we ended the pregnancy with DS1 so I tend to try to hide it, even though he was very poorly indeed). My poor counsellor does sometimes look a bit daunted!

OP posts:
Original poster
Adamcgrathagain · 19/02/2019 04:42

My work is being very good. I have been signed off for 3 weeks and spent an hour discussing the handover of all my active files. Which was easier done than said with the state of my throat at the moment!

OP posts:
Oddsocksandmeatballs · 19/02/2019 04:46

I have not experience of it in an adult but my son had it when he was younger, he did make a full recovery but it took some time (months rather than weeks) for him to be back to full strength but he is an asthmatic so has underlying lung issues. You have had a really tough time of it, I think you have no need to apologise. I wish your husband well, I hope his recovery is smooth.

Sweepingcalamity · 19/02/2019 04:47

What a horrible time for you op (fwiw also praying for your dh and you and all the family!) Easier said than done but try not to stress about the entire situation but focus on the here and now and concentrate on getting through each day and try and focus on taking care of yourself. Flowers

Original poster
Adamcgrathagain · 19/02/2019 04:53

Thanks oddsocks. DH has been undergoing tests on and off for possible seasonal asthma for the best part of 8/9 years now during the winter months but there’s never been any definitive diagnosis given. DH does have some underlying issue there and that’s brilliant to hear it’s possible to recover even if it might take months. He’d initially been told his stay in hospital might be for 7 days but he’s responding so slowly that I can’t see it being that sort of time at all.

All prayers very gratefully received sweeping. I’m a bit of a bugger really because I tend to want certainty in all things and I’m struggling to focus on the now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Adamcgrathagain · 19/02/2019 04:56

Sorry I realise my maths looks wonky. DS1 was born early 2010 (so very nearly 9 years ago actually, keep thinking it’s stil 2018). DS2 was born mid 2011 and so is 7.

OP posts:
Steeve · 19/02/2019 05:04

Just wanted to add your husband is in my thoughts too, and I hope he recovers to fit and well. I understand about feeling lonely, and also your partner being your carer. I really wish you the very best.

MutantDisco · 19/02/2019 05:11

Thanks for you OP. I hope your DP makes a speedy recovery. Don't feel guilty about asking those around you for help.

Original poster
Adamcgrathagain · 19/02/2019 05:15

Ada McGrath is the character out of that film The Piano. I quite admire her strong determination and hence the name. Again because I was just Ada McGrath before I had to create a new account.

I am so stupidly tired. And coughing. The kids are both fast asleep though so that’s good and one of my cats is following me around with a WTF look her face. She prefers me to be asleep so she can sleep on me at this time of day.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 19/02/2019 05:16

Thinking of you all. It sounds as if you’ve gone through a terrible time. Wishing you will get well soon and hope your dh makes a good recovery. Flowers

Original poster
Adamcgrathagain · 19/02/2019 05:17

Thanks Steeve.

I think I’m going to let far more people know about DHs condition. My in laws live a way away so can’t really be here to help share the visiting.

OP posts:
Original poster
Adamcgrathagain · 19/02/2019 05:22

I’m going to try to rest for a bit now. The cat will be pleased.

OP posts:
MissLanesAmericanCousin · 19/02/2019 05:34

Hi OP, I just wanted to say, I'm so sorry to hear that you and DH and the kids are all going through such a terrible time right now. You will all be in my prayers tonight (I'm in the U.S) and I wish you and your family every strength.

For you and your family, Flowers

Elderflower14 · 19/02/2019 05:38

Sending many prayers your way... Hoping your husband is soon home with you all.... 💙

Hadjab · 19/02/2019 05:40

No experience of pneumonia, but having had a husband who spent 8 months in hospital after suffering a brain hemorrhage, I know what you’re going through. Just remember to rest yourself, and let others help you as much as possible, even if it’s just a hug and a packet of crisps from the vending machine. Sending you all positive thoughts to keep you going ❤️

Saylav · 19/02/2019 05:47

I was like this. They put me in a coma as I was very distressed apparently - similar to your DH, pulling tubes out etc.. I don't recall any of it, my last memory being in Resus. I developed SARS on top of the pneumonia and my organs all began to fail.

I'm still alive! He can very definitely fight this. I'm also an asthmatic.
They will do what they need to do. Trust them. I'm thinking of you.

Springwalk · 19/02/2019 05:55

Op try she and remain thinking that he is here, he is safe, he will get better as a mantra. Try and say it every time you get stressed or worried.
It is an absolute must that you care for yourself, rally every friend otherwise you will make yourself ill, and then yoy can’t function,
If you need to ask the dr to give you something to keep you calm? Just temporarily. You have been through so much op, try to put it to one side. Just focus on this only and looking after yourself. If nothing else have a smoothie a few times a day, to help with energy. Sending you Flowers

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