DH very ill in hospital - a bit of a manly punch in the arm needed for me if anyone’s up

[Adamcgrathagain]

Not that it especially matters but I’ve been here since the day dot and lost my account in the recent GDPR bugger up at MN.

DH, DD (11) DS (7) and me have all had a type of flu for the last week. Me and the DCs are recovering. I spent all day in resus in accident and emergency with DH on Saturday as his breathing/coughing was terrible. I thought we needed an ambulance but they preferred I drove him in.

DH has now been admitted to the high dependency unit and has been on various face masks pushing high flow oxygen into him to try to proper reinflate his lungs. The diagnosis is pneumonia on both lungs. He’s on antivirals and antibiotics and is responding but only very very slowly. He’s struggling with the masks and has been told if he can’t tolerate those he’ll need to go to ITU be sedated, incubated and put on a ventilator. No one is able to give me a view as to prognosis but they’re clear he is seriously unwell and may soon tip over into critically unwell.

On the HDU advice me and DC went to the GPs yesterday am and have been told all our chests are clear. I’ve got laryngitis and a bad cough. My DM who lives close is staying with us to help and we’re just hoping she doesn’t catch the flu. So far so good on that front.

I cannot sleep for more than a few hours, can’t eat very well, can’t really even rest. The drs have all been saying i need to look after myself and I am trying. DH wants and is able to have me visit for about 20 mins a day for the last two days. My MIL and FIL visiting on Saturday and over night but have gone home (3 hour drive away) now.

All of this is compounded by the fact our son died at the same hospital 7 years ago (we found out he had very severe and unusual abonormalities when I was 5 1/2 months pregnant with him and were with GOSH for a while). We decided to end the pregnancy and DS1 was born and died at the hospital. 4 years ago my DB died as the result of an accident the day after an operation to remove a malignant brain tumour (the hospital let him go to the toilet by himself, he fell, hit his head and suffered a catastrophic brain bleed). All 3 births for me were traumatic (emergency section, DS1 s birth went wrong and left me and DH with PTSD). So I am not very good at hospitals and I am stressed beyond belief really.

And, sorry you’ve probably given up by now, I was diagnosed with a chronic health condition a year and a half ago and at times DH has to be my carer, depending on flare ups.

So really, has anyone had experience of double pneumonia like this? Any clue at all how long this nightmare might last?

My DM (89) was admitted to hospital with community acquired pneumonia on Dec 10th 2017, discharged on 14th. Readmitted 29th Dec in a critical condition. We were told she wouldn't last the night on NYE, she did, and was then moved to a quieter ward - health care of the elderly. In the following week we were told 3 times she wouldn't make it. She spent 9 more weeks in hopes before being sent home 'well'. It has been a very long slow process to get her better, but she is currently sat beside me planning for her 90th birthday in May!
Not really a comparison with your DH but proof that survival and returning good health is possible.

Hey OP. I had double pneumonia around 23 years ago. I did end up in ICU ventilated and in an induced coma etc. It wasn't a pleasant experience for sure. And it was touch and go for a while. I spent around 4 weeks in ICU, 2 in HD and then discharged myself and recovered at home. It did take about 6 months to get back to feeling normal.

But I'm still here 23 years later with no lasting effects.

What an awful lot to have on your plate, but he's in the best place and hopefully will recover well.

So sorry you're having such a stressful time op. (It's intubate not incubate btw, it's when they sedate then put a tube into the trachea and ventilate with a machine).

If his oxygen requirements are down to 45% that is great news and he may well be turning the corner. Yes he needs to cough all that gunk up which physio will help with.

I know exactly how you feel to have such a dread of hospitals when you've had previous traumatic experiences. Best wishes

My special needs child has lung problems and has been admitted to HDU for pneumonia several times. It is scary. He now uses a bipap vent when asleep and it helps enormously so if they put him on a ventilator it will allow him to rest and recover so may be a good thing. Is he on IV antibiotics ? In my experience after a few days of those they suddenly turn a corner and start to recover. Be warned there may then be a period of lots of coughing and possible suctioning as the body breaks down all the crap. It can seem a bit endless at the time.
You have been through a terrible time and no wonder you feel so stressed. I hope things get better for you very soon and your husband gets home safe and sound x

Thank you all for your stories of getting better and the process of how that might happen. (And of course it’s intubate! Sorry my brain is a bit foggy crappy. Incubation in my mind involves a particularly crap episode of Postman Pat when he has some eggs in an incubator and only just manages to not bugger up the delivery as usual. I wouldn’t be using his special delivery service, helicopter or no)

It’s going to take ages for him to be ok I think but at least if he’s here to be better that’s all that matters really. It’s times like these that you’re reminded what things are important and what things are. My problem is that so many bad things have happened (a fair few other close family members have died or had life threatening illnesses in the last 4 years) that I can’t quite get back to taking anything as being normal, there’s always a sense of wondering when the next doom laden event is going to happen

Does the scarring cause any problems? He works as a uni lecturer so has a job that requires him to be on his feet in front of a hundred students at a time talking for prolonged periods.

He is on IV antibiotics. I think he’s got those every hour and tamiflu once a day.

Lung scarring can cause a reduction in function of the organ (lungs here) but it depends on how much scarring. Small scars may not cause any symptoms. If they're a little worse your husband could just end up with asthma type symptoms and have to use an inhaler/nebuliser. Extensive scarring makes it difficult for the lungs to transfer oxygen into the bloodstream. If your DH is other wise healthy I wouldn't worry about scarring.

'And of course it’s intubate! Sorry my brain is a bit foggy crappy.'

Yes I bet you do feel crappy and I'm not one to point out errors when someone is so upset, it was just so you knew if looking up more info online.

Pneumonia doesn't usually leave lasting damage. As a pp said she had it years ago with no lasting effects. Once over the acute phase the recovery can be hard. People feel wiped out but as long as he takes it steady he should be back at work within a few weeks.

I have absolutely nothing really constructive to add but read your OP and think you must be bloody harder than I am and I’m rooting for your DH and all of you

Sending all the very kindest of thoughts to your poor husband Ada, and to all of you. What a dreadful time you're having, no wonder you can't rest.
I hope you see an improvement when you visit today, it would ease your mind so much.

I’m so sorry you’ve been through so much and now your DH is ill. My relative was critically ill 3 weeks ago with pneumonia and flu after catching it from us, he was in resus for so long. He is back home now, not fully recovered but able to walk to the toilet and breath by himself. I hope the antibiotics and antivirals work their magic soon

Scarring for DH means colds are miserable (his lungs hurt a lot), and he can't sustain high intensity exercise for long (again, it hurts). At the moment he would be able to do your DH's job (from a physical point of view!). He did have a couple of years when that wasn't the case, but that was mainly down to a misdiagnosed complication (chronic hyperventilation); once it was correctly diagnosed and he did some breathing exercises his quality of life improved substantially.

OP

Where in the country are you? You might believe people don't want to be friends but you have virtual friends on here who might be able to help.

Oh and just a mini hijack for anyone reading this with asthma or is over 65 or has underlying medical conditions you can get a vaccination.

I’m in rural Norfolk. I am a nice person but my self-esteem would need an extra special microscope to locate it.

Eve - I knew absolutely you were only correcting me to help me

I definitely definitely will be getting a flu vaccination for all of us next flu season. We were so busy dealing with my health problems it just got left on the to do list.

DH has got something like asthma underlying. We’ve just never been able to get to the bottom of it.

Wishing your husband a speedy recovery

DH had pneumonia and double pneumonia 5 times in the last two years (He had lung cancer and COPD so was particularly susceptible). Even though he only had one lung in the last year following surgery for the cancer, he recovered from each episode relatively well. It was only on the last occasion that he didn't recover but that was more to do with the brain tumours that had developed stopping him from coughing up the secretions than the pneumonia itself.

Adamcgrathagain

Sorry if I wasn't clear, there is a pneumonia vaccine.

Sorry I'm too far to bring round some food or take you for coffee, but if I was closer I would.

Hi, I hope your DH is doing better today. It can be a slow recovery, but he is in the best place for now.
I had double pneumonia, pleurisy and sepsis 20 years ago. I spent a short time in ICU but was never intubated. Massive doses of ABs, a couple of blood transfusions, chest drains in both sides, interventions to remove the pus from my lungs etc. I was in hospital for 6 weeks and needed to learn to walk again as I sort of lost the knack for a bit. On leaving hospital I had less than 50% lung capacity due to scarring. However 2 years of recovery and breathing exercises saw that increase to about 70% today...it doesn't affect me day to day but I am left with a ridiculous tiny sneeze. I was off work for three months in total, lots out outpatients appointments etc. But the recovery was definitely slow and steady once the infection was beaten.
I think it was scarier for my family to watch than it was for me to experience, so do please look after yourself.

Thanks to you all for all your messages. They have been so very comforting to receive.

DH is still in HDU but there is some talk about moving him out of the side room into the main bit of the ward as the flu has gone. He had another sleeping tablet last night and so slept. His oxygen levels are stable. I saw him yesterday afternoon for about 20 minutes and he just seemed so fed up and low. Not surprisingly I guess.

DD is teary and DS is acting up through worry and uncertainty. I’ve explained that DH is getting better and that the doctors can’t say how long it will take but just that we will be glad to have him back as soon as he can be with us. They slept in their own beds which meant I had a better nights sleep although I’m still coughing loads and sound a lot like Mariella Frostrup (but way less good).

DM is being a star and is looking after us all. School starts again next Monday so I’ll have to see how the DCs are then and whether or not they can go back. I’ll need to speak to their teachers so they know why they might be both acting a bit oddly.

Meanwhile, I’m kicking myself. I work in private client law (not probate, more property) but do DH and I have properly drawn up, up to date wills? Nope. Only very basic ones I drafted up about 10 years ago and which I’m not sure do the job anyway. So that’ll have to be put right once DH is out of hospital too.

Some straight science might help demystify this for you a little bit and make it less scary. It’s hard to give you a definitive answer about how long your husband will be in hospital because the term “pneumonia” simply means “lung infection”, so the type of bug causing the infection is what would give you that answer - combined with his ability to fight it, and the drugs used to treat it. He is in the best place for this. As for his oxygen levels, they need to be up. Normal is around 90%. That’s what we want. If his lungs are full of muck from the infection, it’s going to be harder for him to achieve this, and this will also be why he wants to fight the masks. (They do make you feel a bit claustrophobic, especially if you are already distressed. I can totally understand why a child would be distressed seeing her dad like this, too.) Hopefully he will respond to the meds pretty quickly and will feel a lot better within a few days!

Your poor thing. My df has had pneumonia twice -he's in his 70s but pretty "young" for his age. It is an awful awful thing and terribly scary but hospitals are very good at treating it. Presumably your dh is otherwise fit and young-ish? I would say you have to be patient though as recovery happens very very slowly. It took months for my df to properly recover.

But a fist bump because I know how scary it is watching them with it.

I think I’m probably getting things a bit confused by the sounds of it. I think they’re talking about bringing th percentage of his oxygen in the masks down to a more normal percentage. I guess until it’s at the point where it’s equal to the air we have around us. My daily contact is with the nurses on the ward and they are sometimes more forthcoming than others and better at explaining things. Plus they’re understandably busy and don’t necessarily have the time to tell me everything in layman’s terms.

Neither of the kids have been in to see him yet as I don’t think it would be good for them to see him hooked up and looking as bad as he does at the moment. They’re very keen to see h8m but I keep putting it off saying he’ll need to be on a normal ward. I didn’t intend for them to know he is in HDU but FIL accidentally let it slip in front of them.

DH and I both not fit and are both really quite overweight. Both of us are on antidepressants and haven’t been looking after ourselves properly. That will be changing too.

They will slowly wean down the oxygen using different flow until he is down to 21% - which is the same as air.

Can the children make cards for their dad? It might help them to feel they are doing something, it might buck up DH a bit (even if the cards can't stay on the ward with him) and a smiley photo of him with the cards might then reassure the children if you can snatch a moment when he is looking perky for a second or two.