DH very ill in hospital - a bit of a manly punch in the arm needed for me if anyone’s up

[Adamcgrathagain]

Not that it especially matters but I’ve been here since the day dot and lost my account in the recent GDPR bugger up at MN.

DH, DD (11) DS (7) and me have all had a type of flu for the last week. Me and the DCs are recovering. I spent all day in resus in accident and emergency with DH on Saturday as his breathing/coughing was terrible. I thought we needed an ambulance but they preferred I drove him in.

DH has now been admitted to the high dependency unit and has been on various face masks pushing high flow oxygen into him to try to proper reinflate his lungs. The diagnosis is pneumonia on both lungs. He’s on antivirals and antibiotics and is responding but only very very slowly. He’s struggling with the masks and has been told if he can’t tolerate those he’ll need to go to ITU be sedated, incubated and put on a ventilator. No one is able to give me a view as to prognosis but they’re clear he is seriously unwell and may soon tip over into critically unwell.

On the HDU advice me and DC went to the GPs yesterday am and have been told all our chests are clear. I’ve got laryngitis and a bad cough. My DM who lives close is staying with us to help and we’re just hoping she doesn’t catch the flu. So far so good on that front.

I cannot sleep for more than a few hours, can’t eat very well, can’t really even rest. The drs have all been saying i need to look after myself and I am trying. DH wants and is able to have me visit for about 20 mins a day for the last two days. My MIL and FIL visiting on Saturday and over night but have gone home (3 hour drive away) now.

All of this is compounded by the fact our son died at the same hospital 7 years ago (we found out he had very severe and unusual abonormalities when I was 5 1/2 months pregnant with him and were with GOSH for a while). We decided to end the pregnancy and DS1 was born and died at the hospital. 4 years ago my DB died as the result of an accident the day after an operation to remove a malignant brain tumour (the hospital let him go to the toilet by himself, he fell, hit his head and suffered a catastrophic brain bleed). All 3 births for me were traumatic (emergency section, DS1 s birth went wrong and left me and DH with PTSD). So I am not very good at hospitals and I am stressed beyond belief really.

And, sorry you’ve probably given up by now, I was diagnosed with a chronic health condition a year and a half ago and at times DH has to be my carer, depending on flare ups.

So really, has anyone had experience of double pneumonia like this? Any clue at all how long this nightmare might last?

I had pneumonia when I was 32 - spent a week vomiting, sky-high temperatures, coughing up brown gunk - a doctor told me over the phone it was gastroenteritis and prescribed anti-sickness drugs. I was admitted the next evening and spent four days in hospital in a similar state to your DH. Once the antibiotics kicked in I recovered well though. Was off work about a month after and was exhausted for weeks but no lasting problems.

Thoughts with you and your DH for a quick recovery. x

I agree with the Drs you need to look after yourself. On a practical level have you got someone who can feed you and the kids so you can have some rest when you are at home?

More positive thoughts being sent from here.

My mum and my uncle both had double pneumonia and got through it. My uncle was very weak prior to getting ill, and was in intensive care for a several weeks, but he recovered well. My mum was younger and fitter, but was really very badly hit by it. She ended up having operations to drain the fluid from the lungs etc, but she is now fully recovered.

My thoughts are with you, it sounds like you've had a very hard time with hospitals. I hope things go okay and you manage to get some rest.

My friends husband has just been through exactly this. He spent a week in hospital and is now on the mend. In fact he managed to go to the shop several days after he was out. He's still poorly and recovering and it'll take a while. I had a work colleague several years ago who had it and who was off work for a month. It's an awful illness but is recoverable.

I understand your fear of dread of hospitals - I lost my in laws through medical negligence. My approach has always been to briefly tell the staff and to explain our trigger points so they understand and can explain things in a way that helps and be mindful of certain things.

On a very practical level I'm sure you're massively overdoing it if you have laryngitis. I'm pleased to hear your mum is helping. Is there anyone else who can help? Perhaps with cooking some meals. I would be the first to offer of it were a friend of mine. In fact when my friends DH was in hospital in offered to do the school run daily. Try and spend some time in bed or at least the sofa. You have children who are mostly self sufficient so make sure that they are helping too. I hope he's better soon.

My friend had very bad pneumonia and was hospitalised. They actually put her into a coma so her body wasn’t fighting all the time, so she was in ITU for about a week I think ( was a while ago now) and then in HDU for another 10 days ? She had to have about 6 weeks off work (had a very physical job) as they were worried she might do permanently damage to her lungs if she over exerted herself but she’s all good now.

It may not be the worst thing in the world if he was in ITU for a bit, although scary for you obviously. Hope all is ok

OP, I can only imagine how worried you are feeling
If it helps at all, friend’s DH had pneumonia about 18m ago and ended up in ITU for a week. He is now fighting fit again, but his recovery post discharge was slow at first and they had to make some adaptions to their routine, as he wasn’t up doing much for a while.
No punch on the arm from me, but a hand to hold, should you need one

i'm sorry to hear this, OP.

I had pneumonia in 2014. I also have asthma, though it very rarely gives me any trouble and wasn't in fact a factor in the pneumonia. I was luckier than a lot of the people here, as I didn't end up in hospital (tbh I prob took the whole thing too lightly - this thread has shocked me a bit in terms of how severe it can be in young and fit people), but I came very close to it again on two further occasions that year and my pneumologist started getting concerned about bronchoectasis. I was booked for a bronchoscopy, which I cancelled as by the time it was due to come around I was about 8w pregnant after recurrent mc, and I never had to go back and have it as all the problems I'd had that year just disappeared and never returned. As randomly as it can strike you, recovery seems just as random sometimes.

Hang in there. Wishing your dh all the best.

close to 'it' being to further episodes of pneumonia.

I am sorry for what you have been through OP. With regards to pneumonia, I have had it a number of times (I have an underlying lung condition that makes me susceptible). If your DH is in hospital and on oxygen he is in the right place. In my experience you cant do anything other than rest and let it take its course, it is extremely debilitating and will take time to clear. He needs rest, rest and more rest, and slowly will get better. Thinking of you.

Exh had pneumonia when we were together. He stayed in hospital for three weeks. Although was not quite as bad as your DH I think.

Thoughts are with you xx

Oh you poor thing. No experience of pneumonia but I too am ill with laryngitis and a bad cough. That alone is enough to go through without the worry about your DH.

Take care of yourself too, you need rest (easier said than done though, isn’t it?!)

I hope he’s better and home very soon.

The body is amazing. I had a colleague who was close to death with meningitis when she was younger - parents called in and told she was slipping away - and then suddenly her body rallied and she made a complete recovery. Not that I'm suggesting your DH is quite that poorly but I was thinking a positive story might help

In this situation I think most people will want to help you out even if you don't know them that well. I was in hospital over Christmas and when the school mums found out they told my husband off for not getting in touch because they could have helped with the children! You need some recovery time for you so I bet someone will be willing to take your DC so you can prioritise yourself.

Thinking of you, I hope you all make a full recovery soon

Gosh how absolutely awful for you. Sending lots and lots of love and healing.

Thinking of you

Sorry you’re going through this. We all had flu a few years ago - ds then 3 ended up with pneumonia in both lungs. He wasn’t as seriously ill as your dh but it was very scary. It did take quite a long time for him to get better but he got there.

for you. Hope your DH makes a speedy recovery. I hated those masks and the cpap machine. As I recovered I started bargaining with the staff as to how long I would be on it, and would watch the clock intently. It will take him a while to recover, little steps every day.

Take care of yourself too.

Just woken up again and I’m really teary to see all your messages. Thank you so much. Positive stories of recovery help hugely. There’s that terrible sense of dread that sinks in when you wake up and realise what you’re dealing with. You sort of forget when you’re asleep.

My mum is being a star of astonishing proportions (as usual). I’ve got the worlds crappest dad and to balance that out the worlds best mum. She’s looking after me and the kids really well. Our family is welsh and my grandma and great grandma (and no doubt all the miners wives before them!) have the approach that in times of trouble to keep your mind off things you clean. My gran would say and don’t forget to scrub the front door step too. So my mums been doing the slightly more modern version of that. Lo9king after us three and tidying my house.

I'm sorry about your husband. The flu is awful I've only had proper flu once i basically slept for 2 weeks luckily because the hospital caught it pre admission for an op i was given anti virals or it would have ended up in my chest as I'm asthmatic. Even taking anti virals it still took me a good 2 weeks to feel better just in time for my rearranged op date.
I hope he's on yhe mend soon but please look after yourself too xx

He’s hating the masks (I think the cpap) but it sounds as though they’ve been quite stern. Either he has the masks on or they’ll need to incubate him.

DD is quite an anxious soul anyway but there was a poster at the drs yesterday which she saw which explained how deadly flu can be. So I’m keeping an eye on her.

DH just sent a short message say8ng they’d managed to get his O2 levels down for a while from 60 to 45 which is amazing news. He was on 90% on admission

No I won't give your arm a punch I'll give you a very unmumsnetty hug and a hand hold if you need it. Sending best wishes to you all x

All hugs and handholds very very happily received.

I haven’t got any friends local to where I live. Social anxiety makes me believing anyone would want to be my friend pretty much impossible. When my son died I lost my two closest friends here because I had a breakdown and I think it was too muc( to ask. I have one friend who lives in Scotland and who is the worlds most amazing person. She prosecutes rapists in their high courts and is just brilliant.

Grim question but they seemed to be waiting for DH to cough gunk up. Is that what happens? He needs to cough all the grot from his lungs up?

My dad had pneumonia at least twice that I can remember, scared us silly but pulled through both times. It's a hell of a lot for you to be dealing with, especially if you're recovering from flu yourself - have a massive ((( hug ))) instead of a punch

I think so.

Sounds like he's improving if his 02 requirements are less. Once the antibiotics kick in he should improve quickly. He's in the right place and sounds like they're treating it seriously.

DH had pneumonia and was hospitalised. He never managed to cough anything up, though his lungs (well, one of them) were full of gunk and fluid. I don't know where the gunk went, but it didn't come out of his mouth. The fluid can definitely be reabsorbed, not sure about the gunk.

We were told initially that DH would be in for 48 hours, but it ended up being a week. He was never in HDU, so not as ill as your DH. But an example of medics being over optimistic to start with. He was off work for a month (sedentary job), and still has some scarring. He's had other related issues since, but hopefully he's in the minority.