If a friend said she'd terminate a DS pregnancy and you disagreed, would you end the friendship?

[Asdfghh]

If a friend said she'd terminate a DS pregnancy and you disagreed, would you end the friendship?

Absolutely not and I'm actually pretty pro life.

@ShadyLady53

I did read the thread, I didn't automatically get from the update that it was a reverse, my post is supportive of the OP regardless, your hostility is unnecessary.

I wasn’t being hostile [confused

You weren't being hostile shadylady don't worry

Thanks MerryInthechelseahotel

Anyway don’t want this to de-rail this from the OP getting the support she needs .

What’s this about??

You were happy to derail it solely to post RTFT at me after my supportive post which is hostile because it means READ THE FUCKING THREAD

I bow out here

for OP

RTFT = read the FULL thread (I think/hope)

@ValleyClouds ok I understand now, RTFT has always, to me, meant Read The Full Thread. I didn’t know that it was ever described any other way. I can see why you were upset but I wasn’t swearing at you.

I couldn’t judge someone else’s choice - I wouldn’t be caring for the child would I? I can’t live someone else’s life or tell them how to live theirs.

I’d be happy to discuss pros and cons but when it comes to it, who is with the baby at 3am in the a&e or at the doctors, speech therapists, school... it’s not me us it - it’s mum.

Rtft is read the fucking thread imho, that's how I always read it!

Are you having termination for downs op? Sorry if I’m being a bit thick...

I think we need a new abbreviation that says “If You’d Read Beyond The OP Of The Thread You’d Know Why That’s A Foolish Comment” and doesn’t have the aggressive double meaning of RTFT. Anyone up for IYRBTOPOTFYKWTAFC?

If you are, op I am very sorry that this is happening to you.

No. It's a deeply personal choice and one which impacts her and her family - not me.

I suspect a friend would only share that she was considering a termination in such circumstances if she was confident in my support. Ending the friendship after such a show of faith in our friendship would feel like an even greater betrayal.

Of course not.
Can't believe you are even asking.
Anyone has the right to terminate a normal pregnancy. Let alone a DS or other reason pregnancy.

And. Certainly not a reason to end a friendship.
Good God!

No of course not. I cannot imagine anyone not being sympathetic to a woman who finds herself in that position, even if their own choice about what to do might be different.

Way to derail a sensitive thread Valley...

No

Thank you all. This morning I was sending begging messages and now Im wondering why on earth. No matter how much I value the friendship I value myself far more than to allow somebody to treat me this insensitively during such a difficult time. My mental health has been so bad I ended up going to see my parents as I was in such a state and my now my father has been spitting bloody venom at me and I feel like I'm at breaking point. Why is times when you need people the most everybody decides they care more about themselves!!! The state I have been in these last 24 hours has actually scared me and nobody who gives two shits about me would ignore me rather than just being there. I'm this close to ringing the crisis team my midwife gave me the number for after a massive mental health wobble at the start of my pregnancy.

Op please do ring the crisis team, they will listen and can advise. I am so sorry you are going through this. Your mental and physical health are the most important things right now

OP definitely ring them if you need them. This is what they are for, and you are not receiving the support from your friend or parents that we would all hope for and need in such a horrible situation.

For what it's worth, I not only feel you made the right decision - I am also certain that the people who are saying otherwise are the very last ones to have given you any meaningful help or support if you had chosen to have a disabled child.

Sorry no it wasn't clear to those asking, I'm doing NIFTY test in a few days to get a clearer result after being scared by the nhs results. I may well not end up in a situation where I need to make such a choice, but I'm scared and I know my mental health wouldn't cope with something like this so if I don't get the result I'm hoping for I would have to abort. I know I wouldn't cope. I'm worried sick about it all and disgusted that it's become all about this situation rather than my baby. We'd spoke about it before and both said we'd do the same thing, so when this all happened she was who I turned to. What a fucking mistake that was as now I've got bloody no one

No I wouldn't end the friendship. I'd expect it would be a hard conclusion to come to for most, so I'd try and support her.

You know you need to do what's best for you and I'm sorry that people you hoped you could rely on to be supportive have let you down so badly.

Do call that number. These sorts of wobbles are exactly what they're there for