What have you learned from MN?

[clairemcnam]

I have learned that someone, somewhere is taking deep offence at all those innocent chatty comments most of us say. Every week on here there will be someone complaining how someone insulted them or upset them by saying something harmless and chatty.

That a £3 chicken lasts for a fortnight and if I do run out of money some gullible fool on t'interweb will send me a hamper and a box of nappies.

That Saltwater/Boden/Mint Velvet/Hush and every other "what the feck ARE these brands" never ever no not never start threads asking what Saltwater sandals are like. Or have people posting "I love my Mint Velvet ruched leggings" on every legging thread.

That anyone over the age of 40 must never look at a baby in the presence of its mother. That mothers of adult sons all undergo some weird transformation the moment their son meets a girl (whole psych study right there Mrs Oedipus-mammy) and turn into Gorgons. That MNers live either a) next door to evil bastard neighbours whose sole aim in life is to be unreasonable or b) next door to bastarding sociable friendly people who fucking dare to say hello to them over the washing line without asking first!

That I might not be able to write a novel, but I can invent a pile of shite about aforementioned neighbours and pretend to have played all kinds of infantile practical jokes on them and hundreds of gullible fools will make me pompoms and say I'm the funniest person ever and must be nominated for classics.

That nobody must ever talk about anything on the telly ever, not until that last MNer in Christendom and beyond has watched it on catch up or her life will have been ruined.

There are people on here who have a wide and wonderful taste in music.

There are people on here who are slaves to their guinea pigs as much as we are to ours.

People take offence easily. I agree with OP's post. I also agree with YeoldTrout about projection.

That I am very old and world-weary!

That there are kind, caring and thoughtful women who will take to support a poster in their time of need.

most people spouting legal advice are wrong
there are extremes either they feed a family of 4 for a week on less than £40 or its £200
some feel a room temp of 17C is just too hot and need windows open when its -2C outside, the rest are cold at less than 25C
Mumsnet is london centric and left leaning the rest live 25 miles from the nearest shop
someone always says the petrol indicator shows what side the fuel cap is on, this is not true on all cars, neither no numbers on toaster represent minutes
take everything you read with a very large pinch of salt but often it's hilarious and many people are really trying to help and give advice freely
there are a few idiots that will correct your grammar even if your DH just died

That some people seem to be much more angry and aggressive than those I know in real life (I think).

That I wish I was more of a CF than I am.

Oh loads. Mostly about feminism and about the appalling treatment so many women suffer at the hands of their partners.

Wrt to your OP though- it's true that some people take offence at the slightest thing and assign malicious intent to innocent remarks. But... there are also lots of people who make faux innocent remarks as passive aggressive digs. Personally I think it's usually obvious what is meant, but maybe not everyone thinks so.

I found out what misandry is.

That people have very different views to me. That there is a lot of anxiety.

That I'm glad to not be in a relationship x

Oh and that there are people who wash their towels after every use. I'm utterly amazed by that.

That all MIL's are evil!

That the comfortably off are so oblivious and embarrassingly unaware of the realities of poverty that they will advise posters who are on the breadline to :

"Downsize to Aldi and Primark"

As if they are living it large at Fortnums and Harrods to begin with

I genuinely saw this advice on a thread were a distraught woman had borrowed joggers out of school lost property as her son had no clean clothes for the weekend and she had no money for powder.

I also saw someone asking for meal prep advice be told :

"Oh we just live on Charlie Bighams week to week do that"

This was meaningless to me til I moved near a Waitrose - a single CB meal is £8.50

The poor don't do this in reverse

They don't reply with HOW MUCH??? or berate posters who can afford luxury brands

It's a singular failure of the always have been well off to be unable to comprehend how others live

I also saw Dunelm referred to as "John Lewis For Poor People"

And thought :

1. Cunt
2. Most Poor People I Know would consider Dunelm beyond their price range

I also tried to explain that to some people Nando's is an expensive treat and was mocked for it

I know people who've never been because they can't afford it.

But apparently I'm lying because people don't encounter poverty in their leafy suburb were they are fighting to the death over which independent Daffodil and Ginseng are borderline for.

When nobody else can understand what you are going through in RL - mumsnet can

When you are lonely and have few good friends to talk to - mumsnet can

When you are in a crappy marriage and in physiological hell when nobody else can see inside - mumsnet can

When nobody in your neighbourhood understand why you get frustrated about cats shitting in your garden - mumsnet can

@Boyskeepswinging good point. I properly learned terms LC & NC here and helped me understand how to handle my problematic relative.

@BartonHollow

I also saw someone asking for meal prep advice be told :

"Oh we just live on Charlie Bighams week to week do that"

This was meaningless to me til I moved near a Waitrose - a single CB meal is £8.50

The poor don't do this in reverse

They don't reply with HOW MUCH??? or berate posters who can afford luxury brands

Yes they do on MN! They do it all the fucking time and it’s really annoying! Any time someone who dares to make more than £12,000 a year naively asks for help trying to figure out a financial solution, a giant Poor Off competition starts to see who’s more destitute.

“Oh you make £45,000 a year? You can’t be serious asking this question. Try living on a take home of £1,000 a month with three kids to feed.”

I mean, really? If you can’t contribute anything useful to the OP’s thread other than complaining about your situation, jog the fuck on. The OP usually then has to self flagellate but keeps being piled on anyway and never gets real answers to the dilemma s/he is facing. Same thing with the inheritance threads. So many bitter and envious people.

That I hugely underestimated the need for proper old-school feminism.

@JingsMahBucket

Fair cop

Because I've also just remembered how much I hate the utter insistence by some posters that there SIMPLY MUST be a good state school in the OPs catchment when this cant be ubiquitously true and trying to guilt people who justifiably go private, like they'd choose to give up a sizeable portion of their income if there was a feasible free alternate

.

That other peoole planned their lives in advance, rather than just seeing where it took them as I have done.

I'm undecided as to whether or not I admire them.

batch cooking. It sounds so joyless

Agreed derxa
Any batch cooking here results in teas of 'brown' usually involving something suspicious looking, unloved and forgotten lurking in the depths of the freezer.

@BartonHollow I hear you about that. Let’s call it even. :)

No! Batch cooking means your own ready made freezer meals.

That a lot of women are in appalling and bleak relationships they can't get out of.

That introvertedness (is that even a word?) is next to Godliness.

That washing can get "darked on".

That real people use the phrase "poor form".

That lots of people think that bad behaviour must be due to mental health issues/ dementia.

That lots of people also have no idea when it's appropriate to seek medical help or go to A&E.