If someone was travelling 3 hours to visit you and arriving at lunchtime......

[BasinHaircut]

Would you automatically make sure you had something in to give them lunch?

I’m going to visit a friend tomorrow and staying overnight. We visit each other once a year, maybe twice, going on a Saturday and coming home on a Sunday. Sometimes alone, sometimes we bring the kids/partners. But it’s a mutual thing and we take turns visiting each other, for the purpose of seeing each other, not crashing at each other’s houses for another reason.

Anyway, we live 3 hours apart and arrival is usually 12-1pm. When my friend comes here I always make lunch or at least make sure that there is food in to offer a decent sandwich or whatever and feed the kids, usually get in some treats such as cake or whatever. It’s always accepted and eaten.

Dinner is usually takeaway or meal out.

However, when I visit friend, there is never any offer of food when I arrive. I’m just sorting myself out to leave tomorrow and I don’t know why but knowing that I’m going to have to take my own lunch has annoyed me. It feels rude to rock up with just lunch for myself but the alternative is take lunch for friend and her husband and kids too (knowing that it will probably not get eaten) or making a sandwich and eating in the car 5 mins down the road before I get there.

I am a big girl and am able to feed myself obviously but is it weird that there is never any provision for guests?

Glad it worked out, sort of OP.

I travel a similar distance to visit my sister. She never has any food in to feed us when we arrive. We now make it part of our routine to stop at a supermarket when we're nearly there and buy lunch for myself, my dds, my sis and her dcs. It used to about me, but I now just accept it, and I end up paying for a takeaway for dinner too, before driving ourselves home/ paying for somewhere to stay because she doesn't have anywhere for us to sleep.

You may just have to accept that she just doesn't think about these things the way you do. Different people have different standards and ways of doing things. She may well prefer it if you didn't plan on feeding her when she arrives to visit you, so you could try that to even things out in your mind.