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Original poster

What are you/were you doing in your late 20s?

88 replies

Antifreeze · 14/02/2019 21:24

I'm in my late 20s and frankly having a bit of a wobble. Things seem so much more dull and more serious than they did a few years ago. It's all mortgages, marriage and babies on the cards - I say this as a happily married person! The friends I used to go out with late into the night don't seem interested in it anymore and seem to have easily transitioned into this next phase of life. I look at people who are 21,22, and feel horribly envious of their carefree lifestyle and of the lifestyle I had at that age. Everyone my age just seems to do the same things, work, Netflix, gym, sleep, repeat. As silly as it sounds, I feel old and not much fun anymore and 'adult' life is really quite samey and tedious, even with hobbies and travel.

What are/were you doing in your late 20s? Perhaps I'm just immature and need to get on with it, but I keep wishing I could turn the clock back.

OP posts:

BillyAndTheSillies · 15/02/2019 07:11

Started building my career at 22, bought house at 23, married at 26, first baby at 27.
Now 30 and another DC on the way. When I had my first it felt weird because none of my friends were having children.

No one was interested, everyone still out most weekends and still meeting partners and I definitely had FOMO.

Now, second time round, everyone either has children or are pregnant so everyone else around me friend wise has settled down and our social lives revolve around going out for dinner or maybe a quiet weekend away. Not clubbing for three days straight.

Margot33 · 15/02/2019 07:18

Mortgage and a child.

Dowser · 15/02/2019 07:19

Raising three babies.eldest 4.5, 2.5 and a baby with special needs.
Hard...very.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 15/02/2019 07:22

Working hard, playing harder

lljkk · 15/02/2019 07:49

working, swapping boyfriends, travelling, cycling.
Renting, black&white telly, not a partyer.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 15/02/2019 08:14

I felt exactly the same as you at your age OP.
I still look back fondly.
I guess it's time to try new things.

EvaHarknessRose · 15/02/2019 08:21

I was meeting dh, realising the career I was established in was boring and misogynist and going back to uni to start my current career which was actually a very good decision.

Plan A: Can you plan a few more adventurous holidays, go to lots of gigs or festivals, gain some career progression, or whatever else you crave before you settle down

Plan B: Normal is good (the phrase suburban bliss actually means something, because stability convenience etc is very enjoyable) but you could choose to live your life less conventionally, with any existing babies, or without any future planned ones. It is harder and less stable though.

BadlyAgedMemes · 15/02/2019 09:14

I was definitely not much fun at the time. I was married, and we'd already been through our first IVF when I was 26. Later the same year I had a major breakdown and ended up in a psych ward, and the rest of my 20s were spent trying to claw back from that. Time from 27-30 was spent on intensive therapy, lots of meds, attempting and failing at post grad studies, and being pretty isolated due to social anxiety. My 30s have been so much better.

MarthasGinYard · 15/02/2019 09:21

Came out of 6 year relationship at 25

Selling my first home

Flying around the world and staying in fantastic places whilst being paid.

Various boyfriends lots of dates

Whilst Listening to Mary J and the Verve

AnnabelleLecter · 15/02/2019 09:34

We had full-time jobs so dinky and our own home. We were out all the time, did lots of partying, meals out, sport, hobbies. We always had a holiday to look forward to and went abroad three or four times a year plus UK holidays. Actually preferred that time to early 20's. Despite having a home and a mortgage it was a very carefree time of our lives.

amusedbush · 15/02/2019 09:39

I'm 28 (29 in May).

I'm a very boring, antisocial person and really don't miss being 21! I'm married and don't want kids so I'm busy with my dog, my career, doing my masters degree part time, seeing friends for coffee/dinner and going on lovely holidays. We are also hoping to own a house by the end of this year.

Any free time I do get I spend on my sofa watching Netflix

fussychica · 15/02/2019 09:39

Married, houseowner, office manager looking for a change in direction. Moved up north to achieve it. DS was not even on the horizon until mid 30s. Now 62 and long retired after living abroad. DS an adult and I'm still married to the same man 40 years later.

SecondTimeCharm · 15/02/2019 09:46

i was running a growing business with my DH, getting married and having my first child, it was a busy time! (i’m 32 this year)

i’ve never been into the party/travel lifestyle though, DH and I met at 18 and settled down almost immediately, we started the business at 22, got a DEMANDING dog together at 23 so in my late twenties I was constantly pining and dreaming to get out of rentals and buy a house of my own to have exactly as I like it

managed to buy this year

i definitely have my wobbles, specially as now i have 2 DDs and i’ve been a SAHM since the first was born 3.5 years ago, but i’ve never been one to enjoy doing things on a shoestring so i’m working hard now so that it all pays off in the future and DH and I can enjoy our later years in relative comfort with our children grown up ... fingers crossed of course, never know how life will go

CharDeeMacDennis · 15/02/2019 09:54

I had my babies at 26 and 29, so that's what I was doing. I was always a bit of a lost soul before that tbh. I had done a degree, travelled, lived abroad, had a few intense friendships that drifted or fizzled out, no career, a series of casual jobs. I lived mostly in my own head - I still do.

I don't really feel I missed out on anything, as the party lifestyle is my idea of bell, and the steady career / house / marriage thing, whilst appealing, I just don't think was ever a realistic option for me - I don't think I was capable, fundamentally.

I'm just feeling my way, and I think that's more common than is generally acknowledged.

Chewbecca · 15/02/2019 09:56

Working hard and long hours, partying with friends a lot and dating.

squeezysparklyballs · 15/02/2019 10:00

Working or drinking wine. Bumming around the country. Great fun.

Now married with a baby and a good job.

Wouldn't change a thing.

swirlette · 15/02/2019 10:00

My late 20s were great fun! No responsibilities other than a job and paying rent, enough disposable income to make the most of London - lots of nights out, nice meals, theatre, galleries, and good holidays.

I think the switch to more settling down for me and most of my friends happened from about 32-33.

I'm sure some of your friends will feel the same as you, maybe you can start to plan some fun things to make it feel less tedious? I think it can be easy to fall into routine and feel like that's it, but it doesn't have to be like that!

Nnnnnineteen · 15/02/2019 10:08

My happiest time was my 20s. Married at 25, house, but so much fun and we just had the best time!!

Bananasarenottheonlyfruit · 15/02/2019 10:09

Getting out of a long term relationship. Going solo travelling, back packing through southern Africa, got myself a temporary job when I got to Cape Town. Joined the TA and used it to support more travel. Having a string of short term fun relationships, where both parties knew it was casual. Basically being footloose and fancy, doing the stuff I didn’t do at uni, as I was doing a full on 8-6 5 days per week type of degree and then went straight into work.

I met my DH during one of my TA tours, at the point where I was considering a permanent military career. Settled down after that, but I miss that period and lifestyle, being able to pack my bags and jump on a plane, nothing to tie me to one place.

46 now and looking forward to the mortgage being paid off, kids growing up, not having to work so damned hard to keep the balls in the air. Enjoy freedom while you can!

MsJuniper · 15/02/2019 10:18

I got married at 26 but we didn't settle down for a long time after that. DH was away a lot touring, I had a job I loved, fantastic friends, lots of all-night parties etc. A lot of my friends were younger or living alternative lifestyles and there was no mortgage/babies chat.

Early 30s I crashed and burned - betrayed by a friend, family bereavement, depression, fertility issues, disordered eating etc. My friends suddenly all seemed to have a mortgage and babies.

Ten years on we have 2 children (and a mortgage) but I spent a lot of time regretting not knuckling down sooner so I guess however you live your life there is the potential for regret. It's hard to find a perfect balance or not feel like you are missing out in some way.

Sukochicha · 15/02/2019 10:22

In my late twenties I was very firmly still in the work-hard-play-hard lifestyle, with a bit of a transition to more wholesome activities, and more money for better holidays and fancier meals out.

My friends and I were nailing it with our careers, sorted with ourselves and feeling confident in our lives, had loads of energy, and were still wanting to dance the night away in a dirty techno rave.

Late twenties was THE BEST.

Actually, life is still really good.

ohtheholidays · 15/02/2019 10:24

My late 20's I found out my then partner was taking drugs so I broke up with him(4 days later I found out I was pregnant with my 4th DC and my 3rd DC was only 11 months)so I was busy raising 4DC and working part time and I was Vice Chair of Sure Start.

That seems so mad to think I was only in my 20's when all that was going on and life was far from boring or "normal" but I wouldn't change it for the world(the ex partner has never seen my 4th DC)I had a bloody blast and some of mine and my DC's best memories are from those times,once a week we'd have friends round for dinner(we'd take it in turns,1 week at mine,1 week at hers)we were both single Mum's.

Twice a month I'd get to go out(family babysitters)and the girls would come round and we'd all have dinner together(I loved cooking so something homemade and gorgeous)with my 4DC and the girls would all spoil my DC,sweets,DVD's,toys ect and after eating and chatting with my DC and the girls we'd get ready and go out whilst my DC got to stay up a bit later on those nights watching a new dvd or playing with they're new toys.

Now I'm 43 married to a great man and we now have 5DC(my DH has adopted our older DC)3 Dogs and a Rabbit and not only have I gained a DH and had a Daughter(our youngest DC)I've gained a lovely MIL and FIL,BILs',SIL's,a Nan and Aunties and Uncles I'm more financially stable than I've ever been and life is pretty good.

DerelictWreck · 15/02/2019 10:47

I'm 27 and love my life. I live in London, have a job that challenges and interests me, own a lovely little flat and am in charge of my life.

I enjoy being single and not having to worry about anyone else. But yes I notice that all my friends are starting to get married and have kids, and it scares me that the life I love will be lonely in 10 years when everyone else has a family that takes up all their time!

Auslander · 15/02/2019 11:14

I was married with two kids and loving life in the Middle East.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 15/02/2019 11:18

Running myself ragged with a nightmare two year old whilst working full time with a 30 mile commute and a Dh that worked away Sunday to Friday.

Happy days ..... not.

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