Were you ever hit as a child?

[ribenita]

Were you hit as a child? How has your experience affected your treatment of your own children?

When I was growing up, my mum might give me a smack.
But if I was really “naughty” or annoyed my dad, I’d get smacked with the wooden spoon. Hand out and whack with the spoon across the palm. If you pulled your hand away you’d get another one. If you dared back chat, you’d get another one. Even if you knew you were right, you’d get another whack on whack on whack with the wooden spoon until you admitted you were wrong. Sadistic bastard.

If we stormed off to our rooms, you could hear the drawer where the wooden spoons were held open, and your heart would drop in dread.

I remember once, I was about 14 and he smacked me with the spoon. I grabbed it and whacked him back with it and then ran like the wind across the fields for several hours. He didn’t do it often after that.

I was smacked... I can remember it usually being a hand but once it was a coat hanger and more than once a big wooden hairbrush. I can also remember my dad losing his rag and really laying into me more than once.

Don't get me wrong, I had a happy childhood but do wonder if I wouldn't have anxiety and be such a people pleaser now if things had been different.

I wasn’t hit by my mum but I was by my dad when he lost his temper. He’s never had any patience and I’m not sure why my parents wanted kids in hindsight.

I wouldn’t say I was adversely effected by it. Other aspects of their parenting have been more damaging.

It makes no sense to hit a child in my opinion. Like, “I’m going to hit you for hitting someone else” is a confusing message and doesn’t make you the better person... especially when the person you’ve hit is still small and learning about the world.

I’m 40 weeks pregnant and no I won’t be hitting my kids.

I was, and I was regularly hit at school too.

I was smacked on several occasions. Usually when I'd done something horrific (I have ODD and ASD and several other behavioural disorders) or obscenely dangerous. Time outs/naughty step didn't work with me, more often than not I'd be up and out of it for several hours till my parents broke, arguing/explaining consequences didn't work, confiscating things and sending me to my room didn't work. I'd either not care or react explosively to the point I'd just start smashing things. The only thing that got through to me was if I do this then I get a smack (or several). They never left marks or made me sore and both parents did it. Tbh I prefer it when it was dad because mum hurt more. I had no concept of danger so I'd run into the main road or climb onto the garage roof and throw myself off it for the thrill of it. Once when I was eight my dad caught me playing 'chicken' in the road and I knew I was in for it. He just calmly walked over to me, took my hand and led me home. Where he then explained just how stupid I'd been to play such a dangerous game and how I and several others could have been hurt or killed because of it and then went and got his belt doubled it over and smacked me twice across the back of the thighs with it. It hurt more than his hand had, but it didn't hurt really. It was over my jeans and he cried more than I did because he was so worked up about what could have happened and that he'd resorted to that and he was convinced I would hate him. Which wasn't true, if anything that response there taught me that while I didn't understand that my actions affect me, they can hurt the people around me. Thankfully since then empathy and common sense has kicked in and I've done what I can and more to apologise for what a difficult and unruly child I was.

As an adult I can see I was an incredibly anxious child who needed reassurance and parents who knew how to deal with me, but at the time I was constantly angry and volatile and I made my parents life hell. I needed them to react because I could deal with their reactions, in a way I couldn't deal with the rest of the world. I wouldn't smack my children as a go to punishment and I'd never use a belt/spoon/whatever on anyone, tapping the back of a toddlers hand isn't going to hurt them. But now I think we understand more that behaviour is communication and to try and get to the root of it before doling out punishments.

I can say that for me it hasn't done me any harm and I 100% support my parents decision in how they used it. Never in anger and never to cause pain and I've never doubted that they loved me. I did however quickly learn that this behaviour causes that reaction and 99% of the time I didn't want that reaction.

My mum used to get beaten by my mum and this was in the 90's. My Dad never touched me.
Occasionally I get so enraged by my kids that I am overcome with anger and shout at them. I remind myself of my mum when I am like that and it terrifies me. I don't hit my kids but I am pretty sure it scares them and I need to stop. I am looking into some sort of online course I can do.

I was smacked a lot as a child with a wooden spoon usually by my mum and I have awful memories of it. I still flinch if someone flings the cutlery drawer out quickly in the kitchen!

My Dad once kicked my legs out from underneath me because I went back out to play with my friends after he'd told me not to and stood in cat poo. I wasn't very old and I can't get the image of him doing so out of my head.

This was in the 90s.

I am strongly against "smacking" children. Not a fan of the word smack either because it seems to minimise it as something more gentle.

I realised how messed up it was when I moved in with my in laws at 19. (Met DH when I was 17)

MIL said I was always on edge and could never relax, which worried her.

My dad use to tap us if me and my siblings were really naughty. It was more the raised voice that was scary. My mum always use to say I'll tell your dad if we were naughty and that made us stop lol.

Wooden spoon on the back of legs.
Hair pulled.
Wooden hair brush on back of legs.
Slapped.

Yes I was and it did me lot of harm. Still affects me to this day despite counselling.

My mum smacked me occasionally, otherwise very caring and loving. Can’t say it bothered me.

Hardly ever. My Nan smacked me once (not hard) for a particularly annoying habit I had of butting in. I was beyond shocked and never did it again.
I don't snack kids myself and almost never shout either.
My Dad could be a bit of a bully and did hit me a few times as a teen but even then I could see it was his way of venting frustration (which made me even less co-operative)

Smack, not snack. I don't eat kids

My parents never smacked me or my siblings, with the exception of just one time when I was around 7 and despite my mum's warnings, I continued to throw a football around in the lounge, which hit and broke one of her favourite ornaments.
She smacked my legs, gave me an almighty telling off......and punctured my ball!
To be honest, we laugh about it now, but I remember being terrified at the time, more about facing her wrath for breaking her ornament than the smacked legs.
I've never hit my kids no, nor has my husband.

I was often beaten by mum and whoever she was fucking at the time. Fists, feet, shoes, belts, coat hangers, rolling pin, wooden spoon, hair brush, hair pulled, cane, frying pan, encyclopedia, and anything else at hand. Finally got out when her latest fuck had me pinned up against a wall by my neck and the police took me away.
I reported them both lots.

I went nc with her but my dc's decided in their teens to get in touch. They were horrified of the things she told them she used to do, laughing and blaming me. They went nc with her as well and told her why.
Never smacked my children.

the odd smack on the bum from my mum yes, never dad. the only one i truly remember was to shock me out of a hysterical tantrum over nits

then later, she slapped me once in the face when i was about 16 but i really did deserve it that time.

it hasn’t had any long lasting traumatic effect on me, but nevertheless i won’t smack my own children. the world has moved on from across the board corporal punishment for children as it rightly should.

Smacked everyday by both parents.
The phrase I used to remember my mum saying to my dad was, "Not around the head!" in case we got concussion or brain damage. But hitting us anywhere else was just fine by her.
I have had 2 DC of my own and I can't get my head round how any adult thinks it's OK to physically hurt a small child.

@DameIfYouDo
I could have written your post, word for word!
Down to the showing how to ring grandad and to alway tell!

I grew up in a house of “don’t say this, don’t say that”
On reflection I think it’s actually made me a very open person! But my dad will still often say things like “oh, you wouldn’t want to be telling that one your business”
I don’t have any business, it’s such an odd attitude!

Once. Just the once by my DM and boy did I deserve it! Must have been about 15. Learned a valuable lesson in respect that day.

Like Time40 said. Smacked not beaten-it was the 70's it was the norm and it hasn't affected me at all. I don't smack my own children-times have changed and (many) things that were the norm then are rightly not acceptable now.

Smacked a few times when I was being persistently very naughty. Because I was smacked so rarely the shock of it was very effective at stopping me doing it again. Otherwise my parents were very supportive, generous and basically good people. I don't feel adversely affected by it at all, it's just not on my radar.

I have smacked our DCs a few times on the bottom, again only when they were being persistently naughty. They're now well into their teens and are outgoing and confident and we have a really lovely, easy relationship with zero dramas.

My mum used to smack us. I think it was out of frustration- she was a single mother of 5 and we were not the best behaved.

I never hit my kids when they were small - but I’ve smacked dd recently. She’s 15 and volatile - I took her phone off of her due to bad behaviour and she attacked me - bit into my arm and wouldn’t let go so I hit her to try and get her off. It was heat of the moment and I acted instinctively.

Yeah I was smacked with a Woden spoon regularly. We used to grab it off my mom and throw it up high where she couldn't reach. And she would then have to go and buy another one hahah
I've no bad memories from it. It was what it was. Wouldn't do it to my kids though.

I was smacked a lot by my mother, but if she decided whatever we'd done was 'too naughty' (no idea how she decided that - we were actually pretty good kids) she told us we'd get the belt when my father came home. This meant that any transgression from the morning would hang over our heads all day while we waited for the evening 'belting'.

I'm amazed that my father went along with it - he was just told that we needed to be belted when he arrived home from work - and he instructed us to bring him a belt! I recall crying once when I was about 6 as I didn't own a belt - I had to borrow one from my brother which was his scout belt and had all sorts of metal clips and things on it

I've never laid a finger on my own DC...

I was occasionally. Mostly by my mum when she was at the end of her tether, but I remember once by my dad and he left a hand shaped bruise on my leg. Doing pe at school was embarrassing while that was there.

My mum was always very angry, stressed and shouty. She used to tell me she wished she never had me so she could leave my dad and have a better life. To be honest this has affected me much more than the odd smack. We have an okay relationship now, I think she is sorry and regrets it although she'd never actually say that.