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simple jokes needed for my 7 year old ds to use in talent show ...

63 replies

pepsi · 04/07/2007 10:22

DS7, who is mild aspergers, has put his name down to do the school talent show, he wants to tell jokes, trouble is he doesnt like any of mine and his current one he made up.....Why did the body cross the road......to get his head, wont I think get any laughs. He loves trains and animals so anything along those lines great. He likes knock knock stuff and why did the xxx cross the road and what do you get if you cross a xxx with a xxx sort of thing. Come on make me laugh!

OP posts:
AnneJones · 04/07/2007 10:32

How does a cat go down the motorway?

MEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW

(ach that joke takes me back....)

My currrent fave is: What's ET short for? He's only got little legs.
(if kids know ET these days...)

Also a deep reservoir is the "what do you call a man...?" style - eg What do you call a man with a seagul on his head? Cliff! What do you call a girl standing in the middle of a tennis court? Annette! Etc etc.

aDad · 04/07/2007 10:37

What's the loudest pet?
A trumpet

ludaloo · 04/07/2007 10:39

Whats Orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot

jura · 04/07/2007 10:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nailpolish · 04/07/2007 10:47

why cant an elephant ride a bike?

cos he doesnt have a thumb to ring the bell

pepsi · 04/07/2007 13:45

I like the one about that cat on the motorway.

OP posts:
geekgirl · 04/07/2007 13:46

what do jellyfish get when they get married?

Jellybabies!!!

KezzaG · 04/07/2007 13:47

whats brown and sticky
A stick

LaylaandSethsmum · 04/07/2007 13:49

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Atish
Atish who?
Bless you have you got a cold?

purpleduck · 04/07/2007 13:56

knock knock?
who's there?
dwayne
dwayne who?
dwayne the tub!! I'm dwowning!!!

knock knock?
who's there?
dr
dr who!!!

knock knock?
who's there?
boo
boo who?
there's no need to cry about it!!!

And the one on Chris Moyles this morning
"what do you call a one eyed deer?
No eye deer (no idea)
!!!!!

good Luck to your son!!

lemonaid · 04/07/2007 13:57

Who is the world's greatest underwater secret agent?

James Pond

pepsi · 04/07/2007 13:57

Ah yes, remember the Atish who one now, excellent.

OP posts:
BettySpaghetti · 04/07/2007 13:58

Knock knock

Who's there

Interrupting sheep

Interrupting sh....

BAAAAAAAAA

purpleduck · 04/07/2007 13:58

Oh!!! Pepsi, is your son's joke a variation on the "why did the skeleton cross the road?........to get to the body shop!!!!"

you gotta love the jokes on wotsits!!!

Debbiethemum · 04/07/2007 14:01

What do you call a dinosaur with 1 eye
D'yuthinkhrsawus (Do you think he saw us)

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes
Cantofsawus (Can't of saw us)

Debbiethemum · 04/07/2007 14:04

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in cherry trees
Do you ever see elephants in cherry trees?
No -
Must be a good disguise then

Debbiethemum · 04/07/2007 14:05

Whats red and invisible?
No tomatoes

yorkshirepudding · 04/07/2007 14:07

Message withdrawn

MamaMaiasaura · 04/07/2007 14:07

Where do cows go on a saturday night??

To the MOOOOOOOOvies

wurlywurly · 04/07/2007 14:08

why was the sand wet??

Because the sea-weed.

SquareSausage · 04/07/2007 14:11

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick

Whats brown and quacks?

Donald mince

Did you hear about the guy who was found dead in an ice-cream shop.

He topped himself

saffy202 · 04/07/2007 14:37

Why wouldn't the crab share his sweets?

Because he was a little shellfish!

Ds1 entered this joke a few years ago into a competition run by Adams and won it and they printed the joke on their labels.

Mellin · 04/07/2007 14:54

What's a funny book about eggs called?
A yolk book

HullaBalloo · 04/07/2007 15:01

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 7 8 9 !

yeahinaminute · 04/07/2007 15:11

What sort of sandals do frogs wear?

Open TOAD!!!

How do you get two elephants in a mini?

One in the front, one in the back!!!

How do you get two whales in a mini?

You can't - it's full of elephants!!!!

How do you get two whales (to Wales) in a mini?

Over the severn bridge!!!

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