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simple jokes needed for my 7 year old ds to use in talent show ...

63 replies

pepsi · 04/07/2007 10:22

DS7, who is mild aspergers, has put his name down to do the school talent show, he wants to tell jokes, trouble is he doesnt like any of mine and his current one he made up.....Why did the body cross the road......to get his head, wont I think get any laughs. He loves trains and animals so anything along those lines great. He likes knock knock stuff and why did the xxx cross the road and what do you get if you cross a xxx with a xxx sort of thing. Come on make me laugh!

OP posts:
TootyFrooty · 04/07/2007 15:12

One snowman said to the other "Can you smell carrot?"

yeahinaminute · 04/07/2007 15:14

What lies trembling at the bottom of the sea??

A nervous wreck !!

doughnuts · 04/07/2007 15:14

What's brown and sticky ?

A stick

ds loved that one for some reason....

fanella · 04/07/2007 15:17

why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide....guffaw!

knock knock
who's there?
banana
banana who?
knock knock
who's there?
banana
banana who?
knock knock
who's there?
banana
banana who?
knock knock
who's there?
orange
orange who?
orange you glad I didn't say banana?

CaptainUnderpants · 04/07/2007 15:49

Knock Knock

Who's there ?

Edbutt

Edbutt who ?

Edbutt ( egg but ) no bacon thank you .

DrippingLizzie · 04/07/2007 15:53

Why has a giraffe got a long neck?
Because his feet stink.

Lolly68 · 04/07/2007 16:00

What do you call two happy mushrooms?

Funghi.

Ellbell · 04/07/2007 16:08

How does an elephant ask for a bun?

[Put arm up to nose and make like you have a trunk...] Can I have a bun please?

Why did the banana go to the doctor's?
Because he wasn't peeling well. (That's dd2's favourite)

Ellbell · 04/07/2007 16:08

How does an elephant ask for a bun?

[Put arm up to nose and make like you have a trunk...] Can I have a bun please?

Why did the banana go to the doctor's?
Because he wasn't peeling well. (That's dd2's favourite)

Ellbell · 04/07/2007 16:09

Whoops, neither was really funny enough to need telling twice

purpleduck · 04/07/2007 17:34

my son just said:
Why did the biscuit go to the dr's??

Because he was feeling crumby!!!

jura · 05/07/2007 10:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

totaleclipse · 05/07/2007 10:12

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
no idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
still no idea.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
time to get a new one.

anniebear · 09/07/2007 11:33

Knock Knock

whos there

Ipe

Ipe who

eughhhhh do you?!!!!!!!!!

Ok, maybe dont use that one for school lol lol but I do like it!!!

sanae · 14/07/2007 20:01

why did the one handed chicken cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop!

Why did the head teacher quit?

Because there were too many rulers in the school!

What did the ghost teacher say to her pupils?

Look at the board while I go through it again!

What goes up very slowly and comes down very fast?

An elephant in an elevator!

Stroo · 15/07/2007 23:11

Joker - Knock Knock

Person - Who's There?

Joker - The interrupting starfish

Person - The interrupting starfish Who?

although the recipient of the joke doesn't get to finish the last sentence because the joker pus his / her hand in front of the person face halfway through the line and goes "bloughbleurghblough" (hand = starfish)

Trust me - it's funny!!!!!!!!

ahundredtimeturners · 15/07/2007 23:13

What did the 0 say to the 8?

I like your belt.

LegoLeia · 18/07/2007 12:15

Who gets drunk and kicks darleks?

Dr. Who-ligan

Oh, my!

cleaninglady · 18/07/2007 12:45

my dds favourite:

why did tigger look down the toilet?

because he was trying to find poo(h)

MaryBS · 31/07/2007 08:03

What do you call a camel with 3 humps?
Humphrey

2 snowmen talking - one says to the other,
"Can you smell carrots?"

Did you hear about the hyena that swallowed an Oxo cube?
It made a laughing stock of himself

Why did the chicken cross the football pitch?
Because the referee called for a fowl

What goes "Ha Ha Bonk"?
A man laughing his head off

Tortington · 31/07/2007 08:21

what pie flies?

a magpie

Tortington · 31/07/2007 08:22

what's black n white black n white black n white black n white?

nun rolling down a hill ( partic good in catholic school)

surprise · 01/07/2008 20:38

what do you call a fly with no wings?
a walk.

ChipButty · 15/07/2008 22:37

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom!

bluebellwood · 18/09/2008 19:56

What did the policeman say to his tummy?

You're under a vest!