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Original poster

Need some advice regarding major supermarket

64 replies

sandymccraken · 05/02/2019 23:03

For a bit of background I am a long term Mumsnet user who has changed their name for advice on a sensitive matter. I am seriously ill (terminal diagnosis) and am awaiting major surgery to extend my life.

Last week I went shopping on my own which I never do. I have carers, several friends etc who I would normally go with but I had gone in to collect something and decided to carry on. I made it halfway through but started to feel faint, I had chemo the day before and it's recently been upped and doubled. I am also type one diabetic and was struggling to function. To make matters worse the colostomy bag I wear had burst and I was starting to bleed down my front.

I made my way back to the pharmacy and was Given a sick bag. I chatted for a bit and dug my painkillers out of my trolley and tried to find a new bag. I was starting to panic. My trolley was full at this stage and I managed to push it to the front of the store. I tried to alert the guard (he was busy chatting/ flirting with the phone girl and the person on customer services) A young worker came over but walked off again and I was starting to get agitated. I made several calls but was not making sense and I was bleeding heavily and hallucinating...

This is the bit I know I made a mistake but I thought I saw my partner and went through the door in order to get a bag and more meds. It turns out a plain clothes man and 'flirty' guard had been observing me for 15 mins and guard grabbed my arm- I am heavily bruised. I came straight back in and asked to explain somewhere private. I had receipts for the first bits I had purchased. I told 4/5 guards and workers in a small room what had happened and that it could be verified. They let me test my blood but not change my bag. I was detained for over two hours and told the police would come (it turns out they were never called) and I was made to stand until they were concerned enough about my health to Let me go.

I complained to CEO's office in a factual way- exactly what had happened. They reassured me several times it would be looked into and were sympathetic but I went into store today to get medication but was screamed at by same guard and called a thief, repeated I was banned and an offender. Everyone looked at me. I had to ask for manager to be called who had already said I wasn't banned. He was raging at me and went nose to nose with my partner. It was humiliating.

What I don't understand was that I admit I shouldn't have left the store but I was just outside and I told them over and over I had evidence and their own pharmacy would have backed me up. I had no feeling by the time I got in and ended up in hospital the next day. CEO's office couldn't have been more 'team supermarket' and reiterated it was my fault. Why did the person following me just not speak to colleagues and get someone to ask if I was ok..?

Am I looking at this the wrong way? Is it my fault? Should I have done things differently? No one would Let me speak and I am due surgery imminently... I really feel low.

Any advice would be happily received even if you think I am at fault. I just need some clarity as it feels like I am going mad.

OP posts:
Progress2019 · 05/02/2019 23:13

Oh my god you poor thing. No one should have to go through what you went through, and of course it isn’t your fault.

The trouble is, the people who dealt with you are inadequately trained. They have no idea what to do when something out of the ordinary happens and so they ignored it. Theres no excuse, and I’d imagine this is why people in situations like this go to the papers - just to get their version across, and try to get an apology.

I’ve heard people say before that people get more sense out of companies when they approach them through twitter, but I’m not twitter savvy. Someone here will know much more.

I feel so angry, and a bit tearful after reading what you wrote. Its disgusting.

Original poster
sandymccraken · 05/02/2019 23:21

Thank you that means a lot. You can't help but doubt yourself but when I was 'detained' I was called numerous derogatory things and told to shut up again and again
And then told I had no excuse....
CEO's office were initially really sympathetic but now keep batting Back what I told them in open and honesty eg I know I bruise easily. My partner told me off for admitting that but it's true.
Horribly disappointed though that no one said sorry and it's all my fault- I should have said (which I did)

OP posts:
Squidgee · 05/02/2019 23:24

Yanbu, , at this point I would actually telly your story to a newspaper because, quite frankly, sometimes its the only way for a supermarket to get the proper kick up the ass they deserve!

The treatment of you was reprehensible and they ought to be ashamed of themselves.

barleyreed · 05/02/2019 23:31

OP, so sorry for everything you are going through and you certainly didn't need this on top. Unbelievably insensitive of the supermarket and the individuals involved who should be ashamed of themselves!! Please do not feel bad. I would hope someone more tech savvy on here can tweet this thread to the supermarket involved if you are happy to name them. Please don't waste energy on them though, they are not worth it!

StarbucksSmarterSister · 05/02/2019 23:35

This is horrific. You should definitely write a formal letter of complaint and also go to the press detailing this abhorrent behaviour. It is absolutely NOT your fault, you are extremely ill and the way you were spoken to on your return visit is shocking too. (They do say you can tell what a person is really like if you put them in a uniform. I've seen a few security guards at supermarkets who look as if they are itching for an incident to happen.)

I am so sorry you were treated this way.

Mummylife2018 · 05/02/2019 23:42

I'm sorry for what you went through. I really don't understand exactly what happened though? Except for taking some items outside that weren't paid for? But some where??? Why couldn't you leave your trolley at customer services/kiosk/staff member? Just say you have to take meds/go to toilet and could they watch your trolley?

madroid · 05/02/2019 23:50

The only thing you have done wrong is not name the supermarket.

But you have to put this out of your mind and focus on yourself now. What would help you feel better in the short term? I hope your surgery goes well and you feel better soon flowers

Original poster
sandymccraken · 05/02/2019 23:50

Mummy I absolutely was at fault In that respect I admit that. I did try and talk to customer services but I doubt I made much sense and I had needles and morphine in the front of my trolley.
I ageee it looked bad but I couldn't really put one foot in front of the other and I just wanted the chance to explain and some help.

OP posts:
Mummylife2018 · 05/02/2019 23:51

Also, the thing you unfortunately need to remember is that they will have heard every excuse in the book as to why someone has taken shopping out of the store without paying. Sadly, "I thought I saw my partner" will almost certainly have been said before.
It's wrong, very wrong but it's the world we live in. They absolutely should have treated you with more respect until you had chance to give your side of the story, but some of these Security Guards are on a power trip.

Also, the Pharmacy cannot say with any certainty that you weren't stealing, despite them helping you before.

Despite all this, I do agree you were treated with zero compassion and that is totally wrong x

madroid · 05/02/2019 23:51

Sorry flowers

Mummylife2018 · 05/02/2019 23:52

I would've called 999 and requested a First Responder Ambulance whilst in the Pharmacy, personally. I'm surprised they didn't. You clearly needed urgent medical attention x

Original poster
sandymccraken · 05/02/2019 23:53

You can't take the trolley to the loo.
There was no one at the security desk as that's what I was looking for.... they said I was looking to make sure he wasn't there.
I have never been in trouble ever.

OP posts:
madroid · 05/02/2019 23:53

Flowers Flowers Flowers 😁

Original poster
sandymccraken · 05/02/2019 23:56

I have a dc1500 in my bag and other things to show terminal illness.
I wasn't even allowed my meds etc for ages.
I agree they have probably heard it all and that's the stance they have taken.
I just need to forget about it.
Timing is just not great and I probably would have just Let it go had I not been heckles this Morning. Even the manager and the other guard said he was over zealous and needed retraining.
Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
madroid · 06/02/2019 00:02

Don't beat yourself up OP. Chemo on it's own will cloud your thinking without mentioning all the additional stress you were experiencing.

Don't worry what others think. You know you were not trying to steal anything and anyone who has any experience of chemo and the rest of what you're going through will understand the situation and you were in. Please don't let it get you down. Onwards and upwards!

CameliaCamelia · 06/02/2019 00:05

You were Ill...hallucinating at one point

To a bystander that could look like you were high/drunk or somewhere in between

That's how it would look..

crimsonhair · 06/02/2019 00:07

I would ask on the recommendation and training given to security guards and other staff re:assisting person who is not feeling well and is on medication. I find it very disturbing that they kept you for 2 hours there! What authority do they have to do that? I would demand answers immediately.

CameliaCamelia · 06/02/2019 00:07

The medical stuff would mean little to retail staff/store guards... unless familiar themselves with it

Honestly, every trick in the book is used to shoplift.

Sorry you feel so bad and had to go through all this

SaturdayNext · 06/02/2019 00:08

Also, the thing you unfortunately need to remember is that they will have heard every excuse in the book as to why someone has taken shopping out of the store without paying.

I doubt that they often hear the "excuse" that someone is demonstrably bleeding and has terminal cancer, with proof of that fact immediately available. I can't see the their conduct is any way excusable and they really do need to have it exposed.

SaturdayNext · 06/02/2019 00:10

Camelia, you have to be quite spectacularly unaware as a store guard if the term "cancer" is unfamiliar to you.

humblesims · 06/02/2019 00:11

They have no idea what to do when something out of the ordinary happens
God that sounds like a completely horrendous experience in which you were treated fucking appallingly. I agree with the above poster. Anything out of the ordinary and they dont know what to do and that is the reason for this sort of clusterfuck. They owe you an apology at the absolute minimum. I'm fuming on your behalf.

CameliaCamelia · 06/02/2019 00:13

saturday but they will have had that trotted out to them many a time. I hear it myself where I work

People claim all sorts of tragic circumstances to get people on side,feeling sorry for them, as the reason for stealing

I'm an ex cop. Desperate people do desperate things. That's how it is

Littleheart5 · 06/02/2019 00:13

Forget Twitter/the tv/the press. You need to go directly to a solicitor, have them draw up a personal injuries summons including proceedings for defamation and have them served as soon as possible.
This is OUTRAGEOUS behaviour on the part of the supermarket and they deserve to be taught a lesson they only way they truely respond- through their pockets.
Believe me any solicitor will be rubbing their hands at a case like this. They/you should also ask for the CCTV of the first and second incidents to be preserved for your lawyers to inspect.
The behaviour was abhorrent, their response worse and I am so sorry this has happened to you.

Purplecatshopaholic · 06/02/2019 00:13

Maybe I have missed this, but Which Supermarket was it??

LKRJM · 06/02/2019 00:15

How absolutely vile. Poor you! I wouldn’t let this drop if I were you, imagine if it happened again. Complain and keep complaining! I’m also really sorry to hear about your illnesses, good luck with your surgery x

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