Need some advice regarding major supermarket

[sandymccraken]

For a bit of background I am a long term Mumsnet user who has changed their name for advice on a sensitive matter. I am seriously ill (terminal diagnosis) and am awaiting major surgery to extend my life.

Last week I went shopping on my own which I never do. I have carers, several friends etc who I would normally go with but I had gone in to collect something and decided to carry on. I made it halfway through but started to feel faint, I had chemo the day before and it's recently been upped and doubled. I am also type one diabetic and was struggling to function. To make matters worse the colostomy bag I wear had burst and I was starting to bleed down my front.

I made my way back to the pharmacy and was Given a sick bag. I chatted for a bit and dug my painkillers out of my trolley and tried to find a new bag. I was starting to panic. My trolley was full at this stage and I managed to push it to the front of the store. I tried to alert the guard (he was busy chatting/ flirting with the phone girl and the person on customer services) A young worker came over but walked off again and I was starting to get agitated. I made several calls but was not making sense and I was bleeding heavily and hallucinating...

This is the bit I know I made a mistake but I thought I saw my partner and went through the door in order to get a bag and more meds. It turns out a plain clothes man and 'flirty' guard had been observing me for 15 mins and guard grabbed my arm- I am heavily bruised. I came straight back in and asked to explain somewhere private. I had receipts for the first bits I had purchased. I told 4/5 guards and workers in a small room what had happened and that it could be verified. They let me test my blood but not change my bag. I was detained for over two hours and told the police would come (it turns out they were never called) and I was made to stand until they were concerned enough about my health to Let me go.

I complained to CEO's office in a factual way- exactly what had happened. They reassured me several times it would be looked into and were sympathetic but I went into store today to get medication but was screamed at by same guard and called a thief, repeated I was banned and an offender. Everyone looked at me. I had to ask for manager to be called who had already said I wasn't banned. He was raging at me and went nose to nose with my partner. It was humiliating.

What I don't understand was that I admit I shouldn't have left the store but I was just outside and I told them over and over I had evidence and their own pharmacy would have backed me up. I had no feeling by the time I got in and ended up in hospital the next day. CEO's office couldn't have been more 'team supermarket' and reiterated it was my fault. Why did the person following me just not speak to colleagues and get someone to ask if I was ok..?

Am I looking at this the wrong way? Is it my fault? Should I have done things differently? No one would Let me speak and I am due surgery imminently... I really feel low.

Any advice would be happily received even if you think I am at fault. I just need some clarity as it feels like I am going mad.

Thanks everyone for their advice. It's been really helpful as you start to doubt yourself after a while especially after the response I received from them. I have always admitted my role and how sorry I was....
Anyway I don't wish to sound like a stuck record. Will be going back to normal name but will check in if anyone has any questions.
Thank you again x

Could you not get a letter from your doctor explaining the medications and your overal medical situation then sed that with a carefully worded letter of complaint to the head office or better still find out who thier company chairman/woman is that I've found always works very well:)

Thanks @Justaboy that's what I did orginally. I emailed the CEO's office and they investigated what I had said.
She came back with a long quite shifty response saying
A. Any complaints regarding my handling were the fault of a free lance guard who may not know protocol and she would make sure they were brought up to date. I told her repeatedly though it was their employee not him.

B. They aren't telepathtic and so couldn't know I was ill. No acknowledgement of the fact I told them repeatedly and tried to show them. I also had visible issues.

C. I have now requested cctv footage from the room so I can back up what I am saying. I don't believe it exists.

Thanks for your help. I am not after anything just want them to see how they could have done things differently.

I actually don't think you were at fault and I don't think you should blame yourself at all. You clearly stated you were in need of medical help so they should have called an ambulance for you.

There's such a lack of empathy on this thread. As for the fact that store workers don't get paid much and wouldn't know anything about medical issues - if they are detaining someone they really really need to know this stuff. They may have heard illness used as an excuse before but to detain someone who is asking for medical help is wrong and illegal on so many levels.

OP, I understand if you don't want to take legal action, but could you or your partner ask for a meeting with the store manager to deal with the latter incident?

@t1mum3 the guard went and got the deputy manager the day we came in and he admitted to my partner he had twisted my arm. She was very apologetic, said he would be retrained and told him to be quiet. She also said it hasn't filtered through yet that the ban had been lifted.

Saying that I have just been to collect morphine patches and he has been quite unpleasant. He is clearly very immature as he mocked me and pretended to him chums to follow me. Finished off with an arms folded and standing in the doorway.... I doubt he would have done that if dp had been there. I just want it to die a death and be able to collect meds and shop in peace. Had bad news yesterday as first part of life extending surgery has been denied (again) as it appears I am going into organ failure. Not been the best week all round.

I'm really sorry to hear about your surgery. This is the last thing you needed.

Op if you have to go in there again and he behaves that way you should film him. Discreetly I mean. I'd be blasting that shit all over social media. And if you wanted to tell us who the shop is I'm sure some of us would be happy to shame them on Facebook or Twitter, well I certainly would!

I am so sorry to hear this. He is harassing you and that is surely gross misconduct. If you need to use the pharmacy again (which it sounds like you do), please consider making another formal complaint in writing and asking what the company will do to protect you from his harassment. This man should not be in a job. What a disgusting human being and the fact that he is in a position of minor "power" as a guard makes it even worse. I am also very sorry to hear your news about your surgery being denied and hope that you are getting good support IRL.

I think the guards follow up behaviour is as bad as anything he did on the day totally unprofessional

Local press I'm sure would be interested, name/shame on twitter/Facebook let us know links to it and we can make it viral

Otherwise I think you need to move on as the stress won't help you

You poor poor thing OP, their behaviour was disgusting.

If you have visible bruises, you need to repost this to the police.

I'm also very sorry to hear about your illness. You shouldn't have to deal with this stress.