I keep reading people become invisible as they age

[CookPassBabtridge]

I keep seeing this on here and I wondered if people could elaborate.. and at what age do you think it happens. I only ask as wherever I have lived, it's always seemed like the older generation are the most talkative, friendly, engaging and are always stood talking or meeting up. They are the ones chatting with the checkout assistants in shops. On my street of mixed ages, it's the older ones who engage with everyone. When I'm walking around I rarely talk to people younger than me (33) but always have time to chat to older people. What does 'becoming invisible' mean?

I think it's also that other people are becoming inattentive. Not only am I now invisible, but my car is too. Which is strange, because it's a lime green sports car.

I would blame mobile phones, but it doesn't seem to be just that.

Weird that. I notice old people all the time.

I don't notice children young people that much. Maybe because they're in school or college/uni during the days.

I guess it depends where you live and who lives in your area.

Weary I think some of the above people just seem rude and self absorbed rather than you being invisible

I'm 34 and invisible, somehow despite being 5ft 10 
Men don't even notice I'm there and same as @Wearywithteens in the supermarket/shopping etc. Nights out are the same

I think what it means is that you don’t have the status that comes from being young and beautiful. But I wouldn’t say that’s everything anyway, people can get fixated on that, but what actually matters in real life is people who engage with other people in a way that’s real and thoughtful and interesting. Being young and at your peak physically may count for something but the effect doesn’t last long if there is no substance to it

*by “you” I mean older people

Also for me what’s most important is if I’m visible to my loved ones, my family and close friends. If I seem invisible when I’m out and about, that doesn’t matter to me. They’re strangers anyway.

In my 40s and I’m invisible a lot of the time but my mother in her 70s isn’t, people fall over themselves being nice to her.,she finds it hilarious because it was the opposite when I was in my teens and twenties.

I think people are just getting ruder tbh.

Especially large supermarket staff, I think their under such pressure from the supermarket themselves that they “ need to get the job done” even whilst customers are trying to shop etc!!

I am definitely not invisible, but I go out of my way to talk to people I meet and to be nice. It helps that I am in a senior leadership role at work, so I am used to making myself heard. Also at 55 I no longer give any fucks what people think. Incredibly liberating.

elastamum I could've written your post, word for word.

I think some of the above people just seem rude and self absorbed rather than you being invisible

I completely agree. I'm 30 and find this in the supermarket particularly...it's like I don't even exist. I think that lots of people are wrapped up in their own world, and quite a few are just rude!

I've stopped moving out of the way in shops When I see someone walking towards me head on I stop dead (I'm usually to one side anyway) So far no one has actually walked into me. Better than when I used to moved and they'd step in front of me and block me looking at whatever I was about to pick up.
Dh says he's invisible, even when driving. Weirdly enough he's right. When I'm a passenger I notice it. He has people cut him off and pull out in front of him all the time, it's not like he's even going slower than the traffic around him or anything. He says it was when he was mid 40's it started.

The first time I really noticed it happen to me was at Centre Parcs. It was a Friday night, and DD and I were doing one last run down the rapids before she went to bed. She was about 7 and I was late 30s.

A group of teenage boys turned up, having clearly just arrived. Very excited.

They overtook us, and just went over us. Literally over both of us. It wasn't malicious (as I explained to DD, as we spat water out of our lungs). They were just excited and we were nothing to them.

Since I've hit my mid 40s it happens more and more. I've got long legs and people used to notice them. Like, if I was on my bike, for example. They don't any more.

This....

I'm 51 and I haven't found this at all. I don't feel invisible. I don't have men fainting at my feet (not sure I ever did!) but I can still turn the odd head might be for entirely the wrong reasons though

I'm also 51 and I'm not remotely invisible, i just don't know what people are talking about.

All I can think is that perhaps if you used to look like young Brigitte Bardot and have later lost that kind of super youthful super sexiness maybe that is what folk mean?

IamFrauBlucher I loved that clip

I'm 45 and don't find I'm invisible at all.

What I do find is that I no longer get unwanted male attention and hassle. I can go about my life with more freedom and less annoyance, especially when travelling. It's brilliant, actually; I could have done with this 20 years ago.

I always assumed that when people talked about older women becoming invisible (and it's usually women they talk about in this context, rather than men), then they were talking about being invisible to men, and particularly as sexual targets. Because that's the only form of existence that counts if you're a woman, obviously.

I wonder if I'll feel like this. Currently late 20s and I don't think I've ever been visible. I'm quite OK looking, but not in the way that seems to attract male attention, positive or negative. I have never known men to fancy me except for the few I've actually gone out with (and DH) but in every case we've been friends for a good while first. But there's been no flirting at bars or letting me go first or anything. I have never got special treatment for being a woman, though I have had people assume I can't do or don't know certain things because I am young. I am quite comfortable in myself and tend to live in my own head a lot, so maybe i just haven't noticed!

Not invisible yet at 41, but looking forward to it as unwanted male attention makes me really uncomfortable. Especially on places like public transport where you can't get out of it. Bring on the invisibility.

I'm 64 next month and don't feel invisible assuming you are not talking about sexual attraction. I wear strong colours and never go out without make up - not with the intention of attracting attention but because it's who I am. I have no intention of becoming beige. I stand my ground and don't let myself be pushed around without being aggressive and I initiate conversations and respond to others who talk to me.