And as always on these threads the "1950's" comments.
My father, ex fil and 2 granda's all did shopping (the granda's not regularly mainly if grans were ill or giving birth) and all were perfectly capable of doing so. The only comment that comes to mind is my dad on when he did it when my brother was being born and mum & dad were on a tight budget at the time (relatively new & temporary circumstances) and dad hadn't yet done a shop on that budget and he was VERY impressed that mum was managing to feed us all on a very small housekeeping budget, and apologised profusely to her for not realising how amazing she was doing on that score.
Other than that all these men not only managed to do the shopping but care for the children too (my mums one of 6 dad one of 5 so no mean feat especially while working full time and no parental leave then! Relatives and neighbours stepped in while they were at work but they had to get on with it Eve & weekends)
It's not "cute and amusing" it's shameful that a grown arse adult can't do it!
My ex tried this shit ONCE and only once! Because I took that stance with him.
I said something like:
"Aren't you even slightly embarrassed that as a 25 year old army soldier you're INCAPABLE of doing a weekly shop without me holding your hand? You know what we eat & use, you know what brands and what budget we're on, you just CHOSE to pretend you were incapable AND treat yourself without even getting me any treats!" He'd blown DOUBLE our food budget by getting a computer game and a load of snacks and ready meals!
I said if he thought I was paying for HIS cock up out of MY personal spending allowance he could think again! He then bleated on the phone to his mother - who gave him an almighty bollocking on being irresponsible, thoughtless and selfish! This was in landline only days and I could hear her!! She said it wasn't how he was raised and he knew better! (Man I miss her)
He got off the phone, apologised (begrudgingly), said he'd make the money up from his personal budget (which meant him missing a night out) and he'd do the next shop BUT be mindful of our budget.
We were on a tight budget at the time, both working full time and earning similar salaries, if anything I was earning more than him. So it wasn't a case of we had it to spend no big deal nor it being "his" money he was spending. I was not impressed!
Next time we saw his parents mil asked him how we were managing on our budget, had he done the shop again and he was proud to say that not only was he doing the shopping about turn with me but he was getting very good at spotting offers and bargains and he liked the feeling of making a good saving. His parents were chuffed with him.
He's the youngest of 4 and I think they realised belatedly when all of their kids were grown that they'd babied him a bit too much.
His eldest brother was there on that visit and gave him a good natured "smack upside his head" and called him a plonker! But "hey you know now".
Men have the same brains & body parts (in relation to shopping) that we do. Absolutely no reason they can't do the shopping
My dds been getting shopping alone since she was 15! (I have health issues which meant it was sometimes necessary)
I've been a single mum since she was 2, I've answered her on WHY we don't get the expensive brands, "but that's more expensive mum" but it's a bigger packet and works out cheaper overall, "why don't we get that one it's cheaper" yes it's cheaper but it's all bean juice and no beans/it's tasteless and by the time I've added seasoning, butter etc to make it palatable it's no cheaper etc
From I'd say she was about 7/8 we'd "share" the shopping list, I'd get her to get the stuff on the lower shelves and I'd get the higher shelves/heavier items, even at this age she'd say things like "it's on offer shall I get another?" Or "they've put the price up do we still want this one?"
We'd discuss advertising, brand awareness, ethical consumerism (at age appropriate levels of course).
She's now almost 18 (😱 this month! I'm trying not to think about it tbh! 😂) and discusses such things with her friends, like did they know about nestles actions in developing countries etc.
I'm Blethering! My point is - if a 15 year old can do it he's NO excuse!
"Nah, he's not a man child but he can't cook and I really don't mind him and the DCs grabbing breakfast in the cafe after he's been working away all week." Wow! It gets worse!
Of course he can cook!! (Unless we're about to get a massive drip feed that he's severely disabled though I think that unlikely)
It's not hard!
And the DCs are ALSO not being taught basic life skills by the sound of things! Are they boys or girls (think I can guess!).
How old are the DC? And if he's AWAY working all week presumably that means YOU Are doing everything at home including for the DC and he's only doing for himself?! Does he eat out all the time when he's away if he "can't cook"? What a ridiculous waste of money!
There are very very few people who genuinely can't cook, I know only one (ironically mother and brother are chefs she seems to be lacking the gene. I don't mean it lightly either she's blown up whole kitchens!) it's definitely not from lack of trying in her case either.
And that's out of over 400 people I know!
Most people CAN they just don't WANT to!
My ex ALSO tried this one! Nope! Started him off on beige in the Oven just really "heating up" moved onto pasta with stir in sauces, then stews/casseroles/one pot wonders & eventually onto stir fries, curries even making his own pies and pastries.
Again once he got into it he was quite proud and even taught one of his "boys" (lower ranking soldier) who'd grown up in the care system then gone straight into army. The lad was embarrassed he couldn't cook even basics and admitted it was why he was avoiding certain social events (it was also partly as he didn't know whether he'd like certain dishes in restaurants).
"How did he manage before you married him? Surely he’s had to do his own shopping at some point in his life before?" Unfortunately I've found many men in my generation (I'm 46) didn't leave home until they'd another woman to move in with! And they'd manipulate things so no, they'd never lived alone or shopped/cooked/changed beds/cleaned/done laundry. The parents of this generation often let them away with it - I'm not sure why.
My ex went from childhood home to army barracks (where all he had to do was his laundry, ironing and clean 1 room - and the latter he usually only did when it was absolutely bogging, which usually coincided with when an inspection due!!) to marital home.
Most soldiers learn it's very cheap to eat in the mess (and it's bloody good food too! - you can get vouchers to eat there as a "guest" if you've a member to vouch for you and can clear security - And usually 3 courses at most meals - cooked brekkie every day too) it means they don't need to shop, cook, do dishes... So why not? If I could eat food made by among the best trained chefs in the world on a daily basis for a nominal amount and not have to do the shopping or the dishes I would!
Meanwhile in the real world...
"To be fair- and on this point alone- when ours were little and dp worked away during the week, he might well have taken the children for breakfast while I shopped. They always had soooo much to tell him and they got a captive audience over a full English!" No reason the whole family can't have breakfast & catch up together and THEN do the shopping TOGETHER.
"Online shopping? Life changer!!!" Still requires planning and sticking to a budget. I'm housebound so this is how I shop, it still takes up a good 2-3 hours between ordering time (meal planning in my head, thinking "do we need X" "don't get any y got too much") and then dealing with the delivery and putting away.
If this guy can't cope in the supermarket when the items are right in front of him for him to recognise brands/pack sizes I wouldn't trust he could do an effective online shop.
"Well DH will be happy. Whenever I'm super affectionate to him he now says, "was some bloke being pathetic on Mumsnet?".
Yes DH, yes one was." Haha love this! For me - makes me glad I'm single!