Ridiculous demands from work

[marymarkle]

What ridiculous demands has a workplace made on you?
I left a job a few month ago that insisted I print off and file every email with clients, even though all emails with clients also had to be saved in files on a server. And it really was every email, including emails arranging meetings.
Surely there must be other ridiculous workplaces out there?

I also worked in an office where female employees were required to wear skirts or dresses. This was in the very late 90s, not 1950's I might add. I had a professional role where I went out to visit clients a lot. When the rule was changed and we were allowed to wear trousers, if we wanted to wear a trouser suit to a meeting we were required to confirm with the client in advance that they were OK with that- even though the bosses must have known that the clients did not have this rule for their own staff. It led to some very odd phone calls and rather confused clients.

On a more specific note, I was once working on a project that included gathering information on up to date working practices in a number of countries. We had arrangements with similar companies all over the world so this was not usually a problem. On this occasion my manager decided that she wanted to impress the client by providing a short report the next day (they were not expecting anything for weeks). I was publicly bollocked for not getting information for just once country- even though I had explained that I'd discovered that day was a national holiday so all offices were closed. Apparently I should have found a way to get the home number of a director, call them and insist that they get someone in to the office to write what we needed.

The same manager once insisted I recreate a file that she had lost. This involved printing copies of word documents from the computer system and e-mails etc. She threatened to report me to the big boss for not paying attention to detail because I had failed to include in the file a number of e-mails from years before I worked there which I had no way of knowing existed and had no access to.

I work for a fast-growing and very successful UK-based airline and as we're tight on space in our high-rise offices, we often book meeting space in nearby hotels or serviced office accommodation. They almost always provide pens, pads, flip chart paper, post-it notes, etc. It is a semi-official policy to collect every piece of it and leave it with the admin team to stock the stationery cupboard. People paid 6-figure salaries traipse back to the office clutching armloads of the stuff. It seems like blatant theft to me, especially the bloody flip-chart paper.

In a past job I had an automated clock that counted up time spent on every single task and put them into a report. It was only our team using it as a pilot for the whole company and we were in pretty standard office jobs, not piecemeal work. This app included tracking toilet breaks in seconds, which were counted as wastage. We had several 'oops' moments of leaving toilet break listed for hours in protest, until it was taken away and the project cancelled.

@Mallorie that made chuckle. I'd start to be weary if you end up having meetings in rooms where the desks are bolted to the floor. "It's them looters everybody, chain your chair to the floor!!". BTW who still uses flipcharts? Don't they offer whiteboards? You'll need 2 people to carry them though

I also had to print off all emails and file them in date order, the whole email chain to be printed each time getting longer and wasting more paper. We'd have to all meet in the corridor for an enforced tea break and stand around awkwardly making conversation until the partner deemed us sufficiently social for the day. I got pulled up for avoiding this hell and actually working several times.

MyNameisJane, sit on a bench outside in the cold eating your sarnies.

My friend got a job in a small branch of a big British defence company, and his manager forbade anyone to eat anything at any time in that particular office - they all had to sit on benches in a nearby shopping precinct to eat sandwiches if they brought them (or go to a cafe etc). Also they were not allowed to wear jumpers at all and the office was very chilly.

I don't think anyone stayed long - and these were engineers in a hard to recruit discipline.

My last job had some ridiculous rules

1. not allowed to print e-mails or invoices in fact 1 girl was given a warning for this
2. must all take turns to brew up for MD who never ever made a drink .( it was even put in our job description) Also visitors offered drinks but then my manager decided senior staff ie me and another lady shouldn't make drinks it should be the non senior staff but when I protested it's fine will take it in turns I but was not allowed
3. same MD had his own toilet that staff were not allowed to use even though it was the nearest toilet to us . Other equally ridiculous rules that I quite often would argue. I eventually left after 3 years and quite cheerfully explained my reasons .

This is from a colleague.....

The guy who runs the stationery office is a real jobsworth. It is his job to give out stationery and no one else is allowed near it he says.

When he went on a course my colleague snuck into the office for a bit of devilliment.😂.

The next day he pulled her in to inform her he’d put a length of cotton across the door to check if anyone had come in. She was the only one with they keys.....😂😂😂😂

She told him where to get off!

Oh the receptionist in a job I had was a proper stationery nazi. But I worked the evening and weekends as cover and had the same set of keys so when anyone came near I would hand out supplies willy nilly just to annoy her. My dm worked there and I let her use the label maker to cover all manner of things with warning signs.

Call centre where you had to put your hand up if you want to go toilet!

Oh my god @MrsSpenserGregson I think we may have worked for the same firm of surveyors 😂 that or they all just have a weird concept of a positive workplace

1. I was a teacher, technology. There was a mission going on to record feedback given to children. Fine to write a sentence or two at the end of an English essay. But in Technology virtually all of the feedback is verbal and is given as the project progresses. We talked virtually all day. Our youngers and betters decided we should write ALL of this down - just for the record. Never happened.

1. A new head decided that all outgoing communications should be in a particular font. No great problem here - except half the school was on apples and didn’t have that particular font and the IT manager wasn’t keen on staff computers being ‘modified’

1. Which brings us onto no3. Same school. One teacher bought them selves a new printer - to do school work at home on his school laptop. It needed the drivers putting on it. The computers were locked and so she saw the IT manager - who refused as the driver may have a virus on it.

1. One of my colleagues was a widower, after some time he met up with a woman. She became pregnant and had the baby. It was common to bring babies in so that friends and colleagues could see them. People were happy for him, particularly as he’d found happiness after being widowed. He was told that he shouldn’t bring his baby into school until he and the mother were married.

I have worked at my current job for three years. There are a number of administrative things we do FOR NO REASON. I have asked why and the only answer was 'because we've always done it'. Drives me potty.

Jcsp, I’m a technology teacher...... l always try and record verbal feedback.....

I worked in a place that had a store cupboard, which was a little room with a hatch which was manned by an ex RN guy "Nobby" who had been in the "cod wars" of the 70s.

If you needed a new pen or a pad of paper, you had get your manager to sign a chit, and then queue up between 10 and 11, or 2 and 3 by the hatch to hand your chit in. If Nobby was in a bad mood you had to wait ages for the hatch to open.

Why are all these stationery nuts megalomaniacs?😂

We've had a few but I've fought and defeated most of them now.

We had a rule for a while that anyone wishing to visit the stationery cupboard needed to be accompanied by a member of the operations team.
I will never forget the sight of the finance director being walked across the office floor to collect some post its..

I've just recruited 2 new people. One has come from a silent office, the other was allowed to take 7 days leave in 2 years.

The scary thing is this shit isn't uncommon. Please don't put up with it!

I used to work for a care home owned by the tightest penny-pinching git on Earth years ago and one of his many ideas to come and go included night staff turning off all the main lights in the building and doing checks / working with only a torch.

Of course none of us actually worked like that and wandered round a huge care home in total darkness but we pretended we did and kept filing accident reports every single night with our accidents citing "Tripped over__ during routine checks in darkness at 3am" and "Fell head first into the washing machine whilst trying to sort laundry whilst working alone at night in darkness"

You have to report ways to reduce or prevent further accidents from happening again and we kept putting "Allow staff to turn on the big light when they're working"

Another member of staff and I got our heads together and filed an accident report sustained whilst trying to make a cup of tea. "Staff member A scalded whilst trying to pour tea into a mug at 3am in darkness. Torch light insufficient. Staff member B had just boiled kettle and was not aware of A being in the same area. Both staff sustained minor scalds to hands and fingers. This could be prevented from happening again if each knew the other was in the building and attempting to make tea at the same time. Lighting would remedy this situation”

When he saw the accident book he shouted at everyone for potentially getting him in trouble then overturned his lights out rule and never brought that one up again

After graduating I worked in a chip shop for a couple of years, did 10-6 Monday to Friday. Boss called a meeting where he told us that due to “financial reasons” we would have to cut hours and do split shifts. I resigned on the spot...he had recently employed his daughter as our PR director (for a chippy?!) which may have caused the financial difficulties costing us all hours and wages!

Some of these remind me of an office that I worked at many years ago.
There were 14 of us. The desks were set out in two rows of seven, a bit like how desks at school used to be set out, so unless you were sat at the front your view was of your colleague's back.
Strictly no talking in the office.
The manager sat at his desk at the front, but in a type of glass walled office facing us.
You could have nothing but work stuff on your desk. The entire office was devoid of any form of decoration, such as plants etc.
You weren't allowed food or drink of any description in the office or at your desk.
You weren't allowed to go to the toilet outside the official breaks.
You had to wear a navy knee length skirt with a white blouse and navy shoes, which you bought yourself.
The working day was 07.30 until 16.00 with a 10 minute tea break at 09.50, a 30 minute lunch break at 12.30 and a 10 minute tea break 14.20. Unpaid. You had to provide your own beverages, could only drink them in the staff room and you brought sandwiches for lunch as there were no facilities to warm food up.
You had to provide your own stationary.
The manager now and again would come out of his office, point to one of us and bark an order like, you here now, go post this, do that etc. I don't think he even knew our names!
I can remember a colleague being taken ill and she asked if she could go home. He demanded to know exactly what was wrong with her. She told him women's problems, he barked not a good enough reason, stop being pathetic, it won't kill you, back to work.
All that for a grand sum of £1.55 per hour ( this was pre min wage came in )

I lasted 3 weeks!

I decided never again to work in an office.

Count all the carrier bags in the shop so head office could decide whether to send us more over Christmas...because we didn't have anything better to be doing in December, obviously. And we don't even have special Christmas bags so they could have just sent extra to every branch and we'd just keep them until needed.

I've worked in many an office over the years so I may come up with a few ... In one of my first jobs we could only use black pens (this was pre-computers). If you used a blue pen the office manager gave you an absolute bollocking. All these years later I still can't work out why it was such a big deal to her confused It's not like we were filling out specific forms or anything ...

I’m totally with the boss on this one

I’d forgotten this one....

Years ago l worked in a clothing company in Manchester. At that time (late 80’s) there was a hideous fashion for pencil skirts bare legs and vile court shoes. Even in the middle of winter.

Our boss wanted us all to dress like this. As a Happy Monday’s fan l was horrified and left straight away.

Why would you wear bare legs in the middle of winter?!

My last role the business introduced 1pm finish on a Friday, except our team manager wouldn’t allow us to leave. We were a new division and she ‘wanted us to appear present’ TO NOBODY because everyone else went home. I was also not allowed to lean back in my chair ‘in case senior management saw’ 🤔☺️

Another for same job, same MD would never ever turn his light off when he left his office and would usually leave before us . My manager told one of my colleagues it was one of her duties to turn light off in his office when he left , the funny thing was she used to take it literally and run to turn his light off the second he left and sometimes he was only going to the toilet . I used to say why can't he turn his own light off but no he couldn't do that .