My mum wants me to express so she can have my baby overnight

[Stillmonday]

Firstly my baby is only 6 days old and I can't even contemplate him staying away from me for an hour let alone overnight.

I'm breastfeeding which is really important to me.

My mum today asked what she needs to buy to get him to stay overnight, I said he can't because I'm BF (also I'm not going anywhere so no need to have him stay away from me). She was quite funny with me and told me I'll have to express milk.

She's quite overbearing at times anyway but being a first time mum and still emotional from the highs it all comes with, I've found this really odd.

Is it just me? My baby is a long awaited ivf baby and I'm cherishing every second I fave with this little miracle.

Send her a link to the ivf clinic and tell her to get her own baby.
Or tell her to fuck off to the far end of fuck - and blame your hormones if you would feel more comfortable...
She is nuts op.

And you are not to say no.

She’s out of order

You are perfectly reasonable

Dont pander to her. If you don’t want. I did allow my slightly overbearing mum to have dd overnight, but not for a good 5 months or so. And just so I could get a break from sleep deprivation. (And that didn’t work cos I still woke in the night with sore leaky boobs)

I wouldn't have done that for years.
Some mums are happy to at a few weeks old.
You be the kind of mum you are.

It only ever should be inorder to help you, not cause anyone else is demanding. Red flag right there.

Laugh, and tell her your DC is way too little to be away from you.

Tell her it wouldn't help because you'd just be up all night anyway missing LO, so thanks for the offer, but not for the foreseeable future. I had to say no to something similar, my dps planned to buy a caravan for the purpose of taking DD on holiday .

Expecting a 6 day old baby to spend the night away from his/her mother any time soon is mad.

That said, she's probably just caught up in how lovely little babies are and trying (misguidedly) to be helpful.

I'm sure you'll get a lot of responses on here along the lines of "no is complete sentence" "tell her to fuck off etc", and whilst that's a completely fair approach, I'd probably: thank her for her willingness to have the baby, say how grateful you are, but you think baby is still a bit too little for overnights yet. Could she instead help you by doing X task instead?

Obviously if she keeps pushing the issue, take a harder line.

Stand your ground. There’s plenty of time for sleepovers when the baby is bigger, but the right place for a newborn is with their mother.

My mum was a bit like this, drove me up the wall. It wasn’t for overnight stays, she just kept going on and on asking when can she babysit. I had no where to go, no desire for time away from my baby...certainly not when he was so young. So I just kept repeating “You can babysit when I need a babysitter”

Just keep telling her that you’ll let her know if/when. If she goes ahead and buys a tonne of unnecessary stuff that’s not your problem.

Just tell her no, it is very important for you and baby to develop a strong bond and what's best for baby is to be with you. Your the mum and you know best.

Thanks everyone, I'm relieved I'm not the only one that thinks it's completely wrong! I don't even want 5 minutes away from his little face, I'd miss him so much it would be awful.
I did tell her no but he was really funny as if I was being out of order. If she raises the issue again then I'm going to put her straight even if it causes issues with her.

'Don't be daft, mum' should work.

I would just say thanks for the offer and if we need a babysitter she will be first choice but that she needs to understand that it will not happen for at least a year and possibly longer and to please not keep pressuring about it.

I had a FF IVF baby and didn’t leave him overnight until he was well over 1. He’s very close to his grandparents if that helps.

Absolutely fucking ridiculous. Tell her to get a puppy.

What is with all these people?

It's not her baby! Stand your ground. Don't explain or get defensive. Just say no, it's too soon and she will have to wait.

Followed up by 'that's ridiculous' and 'X is my baby, not yours' if needed.

She was quite funny with me and told me I'll have to express milk

She’s not the parent of this child, you are and what you say goes.

I would say, ‘mum-I don’t ‘have’ to do anything. The baby won’t be spending the night anywhere away from me for a very long time yet!’

What is it with grandparents who seem to view their grandchildren as some sort of doll that they want a turn with?! You're his mum, you don't have to share him with her just so she won't have a tantrum!

Doesn’t matter how you are feeding
There’s no rush for sleepovers. For years

She's being absolutely ridiculous and selfish. You are still establishing your supply so really expressing without a need to be away from him is certainly not recommend.

You enjoy your beautiful boy's little face as long as you want to op and tell her to get a doll if she wants to play at being mummy.

Regardless of how you are feeding him, he doesn't need any overnight stays away from you for a very long time (unless you feel it's something you really want to do).

Dd was 9 months before she had a night away from me, and I absolutely hated it!

Mine bottle fed, but didn't stay out until I was ready. This really isn't your mum's call. Have you suggested she think about how she would have felt if her mum demanded the same from her?

Say calm down mother he is just born come back when he id 6 years months and we can talk. She is clearly overexcited just keep her at arms length.

Just crazy. Even if you had to be away from your baby overnight for some reason, you would still need to express and even then be at risk of supply issues/mastitis.

Ask her if that's how she accomadated you staying overnight at other people's houses in your first week of birth? Bet she sharp shuts up!

You mother is being absolutely ridiculous and honestly, she sounds as though she isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. It's absurd to even contemplate being away from your baby. FFS, has she actually had her own children? Tell her this daft conversation is over and you'll hear no more of it.