My mum wants me to express so she can have my baby overnight

[Stillmonday]

Firstly my baby is only 6 days old and I can't even contemplate him staying away from me for an hour let alone overnight.

I'm breastfeeding which is really important to me.

My mum today asked what she needs to buy to get him to stay overnight, I said he can't because I'm BF (also I'm not going anywhere so no need to have him stay away from me). She was quite funny with me and told me I'll have to express milk.

She's quite overbearing at times anyway but being a first time mum and still emotional from the highs it all comes with, I've found this really odd.

Is it just me? My baby is a long awaited ivf baby and I'm cherishing every second I fave with this little miracle.

I cannot understand why anyone other than a parent would want sole care of a newborn baby. ( and I’m a very proud Grandma) the great thing about being a grandparent is being able to hand them back when they cry, throw up, need changing etc.

It's up to you when you want your mum to have your baby, not the other way around. Tell her that you appreciate her offer but no, not yet. If she continues just tell her that you've already been through this and the answer is still no, then move onto something else.
If she mentions expressing milk again, tell her the only thing that's going to be expressed is her arse through the door.
Congratulations on your safe arrival.

Buy her a doll.

Just say no.
You’re the boss.
The baby came out of your chuff and that trumps every other card in the pack.
What you say goes. Your mum is now the sidekick. She’ll learn. Just state clearly and firmly what is or isn’t acceptable to you.
One day you might be ready to allow babysitting. No rush.

Hahahaha no. Just no.
Tell her, in no uncertain terms, that you will not be leaving your baby with her overnight (or any other time of day for that matter) until you feel comfortable doing so.
To manage her expectations, maybe put a rough timescale on it, so say you’ll think about it when baby is over a year (or whatever you’re comfortable with) and not before.
Then tell her to drop it.

It's my revenge as I call it @Gerispringer 😂

6 days is very early. I left my DS with mum at 4 weeks but only for a few hours in the evening while we went out for some dinner for our wedding anniversary. I expressed a bottle for them. Dropped off about 4pm and picked him up about 8pm.

Bf is not only about the food but also the connection , calming down when needed and so and love the mum creates with the baby. Id send her a link about what bf means. My baby nearly 10m and he many times bf but doesn’t eat and that’s because as said bf is more than eating

Expecting a 6d old to be apart from his mum/dad is crazy. You two should be creating the xonections with the baby

Tell her you won’t be leaving him overnight but if she wants to help you out she can come and do some housework or cook a meal.

Is she quite mad? Why on earth would you want to leave him with her overnight?

Tell her a great big fat NO. Congratulations on your baby son 💐💐💐

Do not give her a time frame as she will be a note of it and remind you, constantly. Just tell her YOU will let her know when you’re ready and if she pushes, tell her that the stress is making you less likely to leave your baby.

Breastfeeding (not expressing) at night is essential to maintain supply - something about hormone levels at night. Ask you midwife/ health visitor as they gave me the advice 3 years ago and I can't remember exactly - but must have been good advice as we managed over 2 years of breast feeding 😍. Good luck and congratulations.

YANBU - your DM is being daft. Stand your ground but obviously don't say anything as grotesquely offensive as the 1st suggestion on this thread !

OMG your baby is only 6 days old and she wants him overnight! She is being very unreasonable. I’m sure you’re still establishing feeding, let alone trying to express. Tell her to do one.

I don’t think it’s completely wrong. Some would be happy with that. And being able to express milk so someone can take over and give you a break if it all gets too much is really useful.

But, if YOU don’t want to do it, then just say no.

My baby is 8 days old.

NO NO NO NO

Doesn't she honestly think she's helping by this offer? You'd still be up expressing during the night so wouldn't get a nights sleep anyway. Be firm and calm when you tell her that baby won't be having a sleep over for some time. Don't alienate the idea in case you do need her at some point to take him, if and when he's on a bottle. My mum was great for taking Ds when he was a baby. First night he was 3 months. But that was for our benefit. She'd never have assumed that she could dictate anything where any of the grandchildren were concerned. Set the boundaries you wish now so she knows she cannot tell you what to do or expect you to do as she says!

No one gets to tell you when your baby is going to spend the night away from you. Not even your mum. If it’s something you want to do then that’s fine, but you don’t, so just tell her that he’s staying with you, but perhaps he’ll have sleepovers when he is bigger. And quite apart from that, expressing is not really advised for the first few weeks as it can cause oversupply.

Unless you have particular need to earlier we found about 3-4 years old a good age to start sleepovers. They can tell you they want to go, they can tell GP if they've changed their mind and want to come home, and by then they've got a good relationship established, have gone on days out together or been babysat for short periods when we or they were visiting.

Aka your mum is being ridiculous and you're completely right.

Be firm with her. FFS your baby isn’t even a week old and she’s already pushing you. Stand your ground. My 2 didn’t sleep over anywhere until after the age of 2 (3 for my first) and they have always had an amazing, close relationship with all of their grandparents.

My ds is five and I still haven't let him stay over - mine makes lots of comments but she is careless with things and lazy (doesnt check seatbelts and lies on a big sofa all the time)

In your case.. six days. Just ignore. Don't let her be overbearing.

IME, grandparents get completely carried away, especially with their first grandchild. 6 days into parenthood is the ideal time to establish boundaries. Be polite but firm - you don't know what the future will bring, you might be grateful for her offer of overnight babysitting in the future. So just say, thanks mum, I'm not ready to leave him overnight, I'll let you know IF I ever need to.

Tell your mum that if and when you are ready to let him stay overnight with her, you will let her know. I don't think many parents would want to be away from their baby at a few days old. It's a bit ridiculous really, he's not a toy for her to play with. Stand your ground. Congratulations on your new baby.