Personalities Of Ice Cream

[Mysterian]

Chocolate ice cream just gets on well with everything else. You could pair it with vanilla (Yawn), banana, mint, toffee/honeycomb, etc. It only gets on OK with berry flavours, but everything else is positively great. It's a friendly outgoing type of ice cream.

Mint is very different. It's a loner. Doesn't like to mix with anything other than chocolate.

Tutti Frutti is the Timmy Mallet of ice cream. Colourful and big in the 80s, but you don't see it much nowadays.

Sorbet on the other hand... thinks it's better than you

I find toffee/honeycomb and fruit (eg strawberry cheesecake) to be one of those odd couples. Both nice, but should never have got together.

The nutty ones think chocolate is the coolest and love hanging out with it. Bit quirky, not really liked by anyone else apart from vanilla, friend to all.

Vienetta in the 80s was a Harry Enfield’s ‘we are considerably richer than YOOOU’ -type

Rum and raisin is your granny after a few drinks. The image you have of it is as dull and old fashioned, but then you discover it’s surprisingly interesting and fruity, and just as cool as more modern flavours in its own retro way.

Pistachio is a cool European, laid back type

Cookies & Cream is a brash American who laughs at quaint British flavours like ‘Cornish Vanilla’

Is arctic roll dead now? Vanilla (yawn) wrapped in the dullest of sponge. A real socks and sandals wearing ice cream dessert.

Choc Ice is the middle aged man who has worked the same boring job that he hates for 30 years, and gets told off by his wife for leaving the toilet seat up every day.

Everyone can tolerate a Choc Ice, but it would never be your first choice.

Frozen Yoghurt and Dairy Free are both a bit joyless, but not as wholly miserable as Sorbet.

Raspberry Ripple is usually quite well behaved and mundane day to day, but goes a bit mad on a night out.

Salted Caramel looks down on Caramel as as old fashioned has been. In return Caramel thinks Salted Caramel is a bit of a snowflake millennial who has it too easy.

And Fudge knits and goes to rallies.

Mars and Snickers bars are a bit smug, look down on choc ices and coolly on their till point brother and sister.

Salted caramel wears the kind of really fashionable clothes that seem great that season but you look back months later and think WTF was that about?

Salted caramel blogs, vlogs and has an enviable Instagram but can’t fill the void inside.

Nutella Gelato cries at adverts, calls dogs “doggo’s” and has lots of cats.

(God I am too in to this!!!)

Neopolutan is the jolly ice cream aunt who has a ‘you don’t have to be mad to work here but it helps’ sign on her desk.

Neopolitan

Vanilla is pretty dull unless it has the black vanilla seeds running through it. Then it just swishes its hair and claims to be misunderstood.

What about the trendy vegetable ice creams? Basil and pepper icecream need to get over themselves - you can imagine them doing very loud icecream parenting just so that everyone knows that they are full of goodness and healthier than your average icecream.

Lemon sorbet is the person you expect to be boring but who comes out with the odd very witty one-liner.