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Original poster

To think this "friend" was really unpleasant about the gift I gave

111 replies

Gaballout · 14/01/2019 10:38

Starting my own business and it's been a very tough few years, financially and long working hours.

Drove a significant distance to visit a friend's new flat for her birthday.

Said friend is very frugal, won't go out for dinner unless at a reasonablly priced chain and just complains about how expensive it is and how it's cheaper to eat at home. She buys all her clothes from tk max or on sale, really does love a bargain.

So I gave her a little box of Aldi Christmas chocolates that did pay half price for. She is always shopping at the outlet village hotel chocolat shop near me and the chocolates looked good.

She opened them infront of everyone and shouted out "omg did you buy me chocolates from Aldi?!", Then after seeing the snowflakes on the package shouted "these were half price?!". Didn't say thanks or anything then said through gritted teeth "I will eat them".

Then opened the next present from someone and it was hotel chocolat chocolates and she said "yes! The real thing!" And thanked the other person.

I was never going to spend much on her because I don't have much and she bins (not even gives to a charity shop) presents that she gets and doesn't like - which is most of them. She only values things if they are expensive, will automatically say she thinks something is better if it's more expensive.

OP posts:

sallievp · 14/01/2019 12:58

Whst an absolute cow!
Please please please do not ever buy her anything else ever again!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 14/01/2019 13:01

I'd have taken them back off her.
The rude cheeky bitch.

ChocolateWombat · 14/01/2019 13:02

I agree that it's surprising how many people have berated OP.

It doesn't matter if a gift is small, mean or crap in the extreme....you still say Thankyou in a gracious manner. It is basic manners.

And yes,there's no need to big up this gift. It was a small, cheap gift which was on sale as Christmas was over. It was always going to be clear it was in this category but it was your choice to give it as a gift. The recipient might well have thought it was a crap gift, which is her right to do so, but to say that or express that sentiment is rude and lacks manners. None of us get to choose the gifts we receive - we should receive everything politely wither we like it or not. Yes gifts can be disappointing, but the expectation that everyone we receive should be above a certain value or standard or effort level is self indulgent and entitled and to actually express this openly is just crass behaviour.

Op, absolutley don't try to justify the gift or suggest it's a quality item. It was what it was but you don't have to justify it. Don't get into discussions with friends about it and if you do, don't focus on the gift itself and try to suggest her response was wrong because it was a good gift. It doesn't matter if it was a good gift or not, because receiving any gift politely is mastic manners and this is where the friend went wrong.

Don't get into discussion and debate about it. Just hold your head high and rise above it. And if this is a good friend, don't let it ruin the friendship because in the end it's a small thing. Just think to yourself that your friend hasn't grasped basic manners, which is a shame.

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Christmas

RangeRider · 14/01/2019 13:07

I think that a lot of people might know that Moser Roth is Aldi without shopping there.
Not me though! I wouldn't have a clue.
Politeness is to thank someone regardless of how crap it is. (Not that OPs gift was crap, obviously!). Don't buy her a present again.
And if I'm buying Thorntons I wait till they're on sale pre-Christmas so I can get the same box for half the amount - common sense surely. And I detest Hotel Chocolat!

GummyGoddess · 14/01/2019 13:21

I have a late November birthday, I wouldn't care if I was given Christmas things. I wouldn't even care if I was given Easter things! As long as someone has made an effort to see or contact me then I'm happy.

CoraPirbright · 14/01/2019 13:50

Good manners cost nothing.

Perhaps that is why this rude bitch puts no value on them!

I wouldn’t be contacting her any time soon.

Singlenotsingle · 14/01/2019 13:57

Potty mouth! What does she get when it's your birthday?

frustratedashell · 14/01/2019 14:06

Somewhat appropriate that they had a snowflake on the box ! I wouldn't bother with her. I assume she knows your finances aren't great, she should have acknowledged them with grace.
I sometimes get given chocolates with nuts in them, I'm allergic ! I Smile say, thank you, and then give them to a friend or family who can eat them. No problem

TheNoodlesIncident · 14/01/2019 14:07

It's not just the rudeness about the present, it was the whole lack of gratitude for the effort OP went to. She could have shoved the present in the post, but she didn't, she actually took it there on a rare day off.

OP's friend attitude stinks and I think OP is better off without her.

I really can't... just trying to imagine actually saying the things she said, instead of "How lovely, thanks for that and coming all this way too".

wowfudge · 14/01/2019 14:10

Your ex friend's attitude stinks OP. You could have been organised and bought her birthday present well in advance for all she knew. She is the perfect example of someone who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing.

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 14/01/2019 14:11

She was so rude op!

I had a boyfriend who would buy me discounted flowers from the petrol station if he saw any. I did politely request that he took the discount label off if feasible and maybe didn't spend his money on the really sad ones, but I always appreciated the kind impulse to buy me anything at all.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 14/01/2019 14:14

@Gaballout

She’s a fuckwit.

But if they were the Winter Dessert Truffles I suspect they may have been she’s a double fuckwit as those chocs are BOSS and piss all over the posher efforts I received this year.

ChakiraChakra · 14/01/2019 14:17

My birthday is in a few days and sometimes I do feel a tiny bit miffed if somebody buys me something obviously Christmassy for my birthday... having said that, I'd be very grateful for posh aldi chocs, and certainly wouldn't outwardly react with anything but grace and thanks.

shpoot · 14/01/2019 14:32

She was rude to do that but I wouldn't ever buy Christmas branded things for a birthday

RagamuffinCat · 14/01/2019 15:07

If my friend didn't have a lot of money and had travelled to see me for my birthday, I would just be grateful to see them to be honest. I think it is rude to make a fuss about a present, and I also wouldn't be bothered about receiving a reduced present. It is just nice to be given something and thought of.

sushisuperstar · 14/01/2019 19:00

Id have thought you driving a significant distance given you have no money is enough of a gift personally.

AJPTaylor · 14/01/2019 19:03

That would be the end of it for me. Why would you be friends with her?

EastMidsGPs · 14/01/2019 19:10

Surround yourself with those who are radiators and not those who are drains.

Great advice given to me years ago.

Distance yourself from this fun sponge, she is no friend.

Hen2018 · 14/01/2019 19:11

I like to think I’d have snatched them back off her, tipped them all in my mouth and chewed them on the way back to my car!

Original poster

Gaballout · 14/01/2019 21:25

Thank you! I'm a bit annoyed with myself for not grabbing them off her (not that I'd need to as she put them on the floor next to the recycling and put the hotel chocolat ones in her quite empty fridge) and leaving them. I'm sure she will just bin them and not even give to a food bank or something as she has underfloor heating (as she told us several times) so they will be fucked after a short time on that.

OP posts:

Fromage · 14/01/2019 22:18

Ah yes, underfloor heating. We know how cheap that is. Not.

Is she the sort to splash out on generous gifts for her friends? Fair enough if she can afford it but it's vulgar to be ungracious about a gift from a friend who she knows is a bit strapped at the moment.

smallwoofer · 15/01/2019 01:19

It's interesting that on MN if someone came on complaining about a gift they received everyone would respond 'you don't give to receive' and 'be grateful you got anything'.
But it's ok to berate the op for a 'cheap' gift.

Honestly if someone had spoken to me like that I would have just turned around and left. No one has to put up with shit.

Angrybird345 · 15/01/2019 05:47

What did she get you?

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 15/01/2019 06:02

She’s a rude bitch and deserves not a minute more of your time or consideration. I‘d have nabbed the chocs back though. Nothing wrong with Aldi chocs. A friend of mine was unemployed and skint and gave me a box of tissues one birthday. Probably only cost a couple of quid max, cute packaging though. I thanked her and made good use of them. It was nice of her to get me something.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 15/01/2019 06:08

I got nothing for my birthday yesterday. I'd have been delighted if a friend had brought me chocolate

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