To think this "friend" was really unpleasant about the gift I gave

[Gaballout]

Starting my own business and it's been a very tough few years, financially and long working hours.

Drove a significant distance to visit a friend's new flat for her birthday.

Said friend is very frugal, won't go out for dinner unless at a reasonablly priced chain and just complains about how expensive it is and how it's cheaper to eat at home. She buys all her clothes from tk max or on sale, really does love a bargain.

So I gave her a little box of Aldi Christmas chocolates that did pay half price for. She is always shopping at the outlet village hotel chocolat shop near me and the chocolates looked good.

She opened them infront of everyone and shouted out "omg did you buy me chocolates from Aldi?!", Then after seeing the snowflakes on the package shouted "these were half price?!". Didn't say thanks or anything then said through gritted teeth "I will eat them".

Then opened the next present from someone and it was hotel chocolat chocolates and she said "yes! The real thing!" And thanked the other person.

I was never going to spend much on her because I don't have much and she bins (not even gives to a charity shop) presents that she gets and doesn't like - which is most of them. She only values things if they are expensive, will automatically say she thinks something is better if it's more expensive.

If she's a good friend in other ways , I'd just ignore her comment and simply give her a card in future .
If she's a bitch, embarrassing you about lots of things I'd reconsider her friendship.

wow this person is rude. I would end this friendship immediately. If she doesn't get the hint and messages you then I would simply send a text along the lines of 'I was quite hurt by your behaviour at your birthday where i made an effort to come and see you and my gift was not appreciated. i think you are a rude person and we clearly are in different places in our life. i wish you all the best' and leave it at that x

No I didn't think half price chocolates were what she deserves or anything like that. I saw what looked like a nice box of chocolates and like the hotel chocolat ones she likes. She likes the half price ones from the outlet shop so thought she would like them. I saw something I thought she would like and bought it.

I would have been internally a bit hurt by your gift (because of the snowflakes, basically - makes it look like an xmas thing), but I'd have smiled and thanked you and eaten it. Her reaction is really rude. And Moser Roth chocolate is really tasty and generally highly rated.

I’m with SnuggyBuggy. Tight with money, tight with affection and goodness.

I mean, WTF! She’s supposed to be your friend. She knows that you’re short of money. You drove well out of your way to see her, despite working long hours. She couldn’t even be gracious when given a gift she considered beneath her and attempted to shame you in front of at least one other person.

She’s not a real friend. Sorry OP.

Honestly I had no idea people would be offended by the snowflakes. I myself wouldn't care if someone gave me something with snowflakes on in march for my birthday. If it's a good chocolate in the box that's what matters, and if they got a good deal on them then I would think good on them.

Snowflakes is Christmas branding which is why you got them half price isn’t it? I may be a bit sensitive about this having a January birthday too!

But regardless, it sounds like this friendship has run its course.

Well, fuck her and the horse she rode in on. Friendship, ended. You don't need bitches like that in your life. Also, aldi chocolates are bloody yummy. Bitch.

it's a lesson in being gracious and remembering we are all on different sections of the path. Sounds like she has poor manners. I would either let it go if you think she's worth it, or just not call again and dont push the friendship.

Said friend is very frugal, won't go out for dinner unless at a reasonably priced chain and just complains about how expensive it is and how it's cheaper to eat at home. She buys all her clothes from tk max or on sale, really does love a bargain.
I was never going to spend much on her because I don't have much and she bins (not even gives to a charity shop) presents that she gets and doesn't like - which is most of them. She only values things if they are expensive, will automatically say she thinks something is better if it's more expensive.

Those paragraphs would suggest that you did think how tight and penny-pinching your friend is, even though she only likes expensive things - which isn't entirely logical.

No one is going to dispute that your friend was rude and ungrateful. A better brought up person would have said thank you politely, despite thinking those things inside!

I can't believe you've had any responses other than "how incredibly rude and graceless this was". This is not someone I would bother buying any presents for again or, indeed, bother continuing a friendship with.

Just out of interest, does she go all-out and spend a fortune on you when it's your birthday, or do you usually get a box of Quality Street?

If someone bought me chocolates I would be grateful I wouldn't care what reduction they got in the price, why would you care? Does spending massive amounts of money mean you are a nicer person?

Your friend was very rude but I also think it was also rude to give someone Christmas chocolates for their January birthday, regardless of where they were from!

Unkind and inappropriate thing for your friend to say especially as she is frugal. The fact that she is frugal is the reason why you bought them!

Sorry she embarrassed you op but you did nothing wrong. Let it go over your head, no-one else would have thought anything. Many of us have been there, I'm sure. Sometimes people just don't know what is the appropriate thing to say or do, she meant no harm & would probably be gutted to think she had not appreciated the chocs appropriately (I could kick her except I think she meant no harm and it's over now).

Other people just looked uncomfortable.

I bet they did. That was really rude of your friend.

no need to be rude like that as they taste nice but seems like an afterhthought with xmas stuff on it like u were given it and then passed iton

my birthday is tis month i wouldnt really like a xmas orientated present

It's no excuse for her awful behaviour but having a January birthday and having been on the receiving end of cast off Christmas gifts and half price Christmas gifts from sales for years it's a bit of a let down to get them as a birthday gift, feels like people just can't be bothered or don't care enough to get anything thoughtful.

I wouldn't bother getting this CF anything else but for any other January's birthdays it's probably useful to keep in mind.

I think that a lot of people might know that Moser Roth is Aldi without shopping there.

There are made by Storck I think though who also make toffifee, merci & reisen.

What did she get you when it was your birthday?

bobstersmum if a friend turned up to wish me well on my birthday and said that they were busting their chops with their new business and were really hard up and gave me some marked down seasonal supermarket chocolates as a small gift, I would absolutely understand and be appreciative of the effort made.

If a friend turned up to wish me well and gave me marked down seasonal supermarket chocolates and expected me to be over-whelmed with gratitude by the thought and effort that they'd put into my gift, I would probably struggle to meet their expectations - although I would be polite, not like the OPs friend!!!!!!

Thought and effort does count for a lot in a friendship - it isn't the expense or the amount of money, it is what you thought of the person when you chose the gift for them, that counts in my opinion.

That's not a 'friend'. l'd be seriously considering if l wanted to keep in touch with them after that kind of behaviour.

Eeek, it's a hard one really as pennies are tight and your friend should respect that. On the other hand, as a January baby myself, I'm always getting Christmas branded stuff that someone else doesn't want...at the risk of appearing ungrateful, this is probably her bugbear. She was so horrible about it though, I would never say anything except "Thanks very much, how lovely of you".

Wow at some of the people here that judge someone for getting a box of chocolates on offer. Why does it matter how much someone spent on a present? Even spending that on a little box of chocolates and the petrol money will have big knock on affects for me. I spent 5-6 hours driving and had a very rare day off and was shamed for shopping at Aldi and buying something in January sales.

No she doesn't go all out on me, got some mugs for my birthday.

I wasn't expecting her to go ooh amazing, just a simple thanks and an appreciation of the distance I had traveled to visit and juggle my work in order to have the time off.