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Original poster

Do you still have friends from primary school (and do you care if you don't?)

69 replies

Deminism · 13/01/2019 23:39

So my kids are year 3 and year 1 and have made lovely friends and all are happy. We live in London so the population moves about a lot - a lot of their friends have at least one non British parent and a lot have plans to move to the other country for secondary in due course, plus there are so many schools here it is quite likely they will go to a different school to their mates just because there are lots.
Anyway, because I have three kids (one still at nursery), we have v busy evenings - swimming one night, beavers another, brownies for the other one another, karate one night etc. Each kid only has a max of two things but it means most after schools are planned and when they are not we enjoy just going to park on way home and hanging out at home. But means playdates after school not so easy unless the playdate parent can pick up the child and bring them home.
Which got me thinking... actually I don't still have, aged 40, any friends from primary school. None went to my secondary school and we all kind of lost touch by time we were teenagers. I know a few on Facebook and live in the same part of the city so occasionally bump into people, but all of my good friends are people I met as an adult.
Wondered whether this is unusual and whether actually most people are still friends with their primary school friends and whether therefore I should make more effort for DCs to see their school friends outside of school knowing this could become a lifelong friendship.

OP posts:

Kenworthington · 14/01/2019 17:08

No I don’t and no I don’t care. I only have a couple from secondary school and we had a ‘friendship gap’ of 30 odd years!

thewinkingprawn · 14/01/2019 17:09

No although we moved when I was 8. Couldn’t care less though - have no friends from secondary either, some from uni and loads since then! I found my people when u left school.

whatswithtodaytoday · 14/01/2019 17:17

No, we moved when I was 7 and again when I was 10, so haven't kept in touch at all. I have a few on Facebook but never speak to them, they're just there to be nosy.

My oldest close friend is from Year 9 in secondary school, and most of my other friends are from 6th form or since I moved to a new town 10 years ago. None from uni as my ex-housemates turned out to be very odd, just a few acquaintances I've stayed in touch with.

I don't care at all - I was a child when we moved away so wouldn't expect to stay in contact with primary-age friends, and from what I see of them on Facebook we'd have nothing in common anyway

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NC4Now · 14/01/2019 17:21

I’ve known my best friend all my life. Truth be told, if I met her now I doubt I’d have much time for her but there’s too much history. She’s more like a sister or cousin really, and I feel I have to look out for her.
She has my back too.

MissBartlettsconscience · 14/01/2019 17:31

No one from primary but then I moved school at 7 when we moved house and ended up at a tiny village primary. When I left at 11, there were 12 children in the school.

One of my closest friends is someone I've been friendly with since my first term at secondary, I'm in touch with more people on Facebook and we meet up for a glass of wine now and again. I've also met a school friend again as an adult and we get on well but not besties!

Bluntness100 · 14/01/2019 17:37

God know, I've lived in three different countries, I don't even have friends from secondary left.

However my husband does, and he also has lived in three countries, however he went to school in a small village and they all then moved to the secondary school together and his parents lived in that village till they passed. Where as we moved for my secondary, about an hour away, and then I moved away for uni.

The friends I have now I made as an adult.

LuggsaysNotaWomen · 14/01/2019 17:43

Two friends I have known since nursery school and are my “Besties” even though we don’t get to see that much of each other.

I don’t think it’s imperitive that you have friends from primary school although it’s nice to have a link to that stage of your life. Quality of friendship is far more important than when/where/how long you have known someone, in my opinion.

tomhazard · 14/01/2019 17:44

I think that's only because our mums were friends and still are so we go out all 4 of us to eat once a year or so.

All other friends are from secondary school or later.

tomhazard · 14/01/2019 17:45

Oh and no I don't care!

SpringIntoSpring · 14/01/2019 17:47

I did but I haven't seen her since I had my eldest.
No, I'm not bothered. I didn't have the best time at school so I'd rather not be reminded of that place now I'm free!

Theweasleytwins · 14/01/2019 17:48

I have 1, our mums met at antenatal classes and we used to go to church together. I see her about once a year and she hasnt changed😊

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 14/01/2019 17:51

Just one, who has grown into the most fabulous man I've ever met. We only catch up a couple of times a year, generally in London or Nice, but he's exactly the same as he was in Year 6. DH loves him almost as much as I do, and he's Godfather to our DC.

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 14/01/2019 17:54

My three closest friends are all from primary school. We have all lived at opposite ends of the country over the years and don't physically see each other as much as we'd like but I still consider hem my best friends.

holasoydora · 14/01/2019 17:56

I have a good male friend (whom I rarely see) from primary school but my other school friends are from secondary. Who kids will ultimately remain friends with depends on so many factors which parents have very little control over.

Ragwort · 14/01/2019 17:57

Yes - I have one very close friend from nursery school (we are in our 60s now) and another good friend from primary school - we all went on to the same secondary school.

My mum is 85 and still close friends with a school friend. .

We have all moved around a lot, none of us are still in the town where we met up - we also have all met lots of 'new' friends - I do love the fact that I have such 'old' friends, they know everything about me, my family and siblings etc etc. It's rather comforting and I recently was able to help a friend as she moved her mother into a care home and although she had other friends she could have asked I think she was pleased that someone who had known her mum when she was a younger woman and not an 'old person going into care' meant a lot to her.

OutPinked · 14/01/2019 18:13

I have one. We didn’t become friends until we were in year 6 but are still good friends now. Known each other since nursery.

BearSoFair · 14/01/2019 18:15

I have one. We both still live in the same area and usually see each other about once every six weeks, catch up weekly on Facebook or Whatsapp. She's one of my closest friends.

Elflocks · 14/01/2019 21:32

No, and I don't mind.

SuziQ10 · 14/01/2019 21:44

I have a few primary school friends still.
It's all down to my mother becoming friends with their mums and maintaining the friendship as we grew.
She's very sociable. Sort of became 'family friends' with a group of children and their families over the primary school years and on to secondary and beyond.

We're also in London. Didn't throw up any difficulties.

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