Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Do you still have friends from primary school (and do you care if you don't?)

69 replies

Deminism · 13/01/2019 23:39

So my kids are year 3 and year 1 and have made lovely friends and all are happy. We live in London so the population moves about a lot - a lot of their friends have at least one non British parent and a lot have plans to move to the other country for secondary in due course, plus there are so many schools here it is quite likely they will go to a different school to their mates just because there are lots.
Anyway, because I have three kids (one still at nursery), we have v busy evenings - swimming one night, beavers another, brownies for the other one another, karate one night etc. Each kid only has a max of two things but it means most after schools are planned and when they are not we enjoy just going to park on way home and hanging out at home. But means playdates after school not so easy unless the playdate parent can pick up the child and bring them home.
Which got me thinking... actually I don't still have, aged 40, any friends from primary school. None went to my secondary school and we all kind of lost touch by time we were teenagers. I know a few on Facebook and live in the same part of the city so occasionally bump into people, but all of my good friends are people I met as an adult.
Wondered whether this is unusual and whether actually most people are still friends with their primary school friends and whether therefore I should make more effort for DCs to see their school friends outside of school knowing this could become a lifelong friendship.

OP posts:

BeachtheButler · 14/01/2019 00:11

No. I have friends from secondary school, but I haven't seen anyone from my primary school in over 30 years. Can't say I'm that upset by it.

Defender90 · 14/01/2019 00:12

Just last weekend I met up with a girl I went to primary with. She came to mine for a drink and catch up after moving back to our hometown (I now live 20 miles away.

I'm still FB friends with a few childhood friends but none of them are actual friends.

HauntedPencil · 14/01/2019 00:16

I haven't got any from primary apart from on FB and not at all sad as we've not much in common.

Have kept friends from teen years on, uni friends etc.

I think you are quite lucky if you meet a really nice group so early and stay in touch with them.

DH still does but in their group there are also brothers friends from high school and uni, so they aren't exclusive!

I think it depends a lot if you move in adult years or stay where you grew up too.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General education Primary education

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 14/01/2019 00:29

No.
I have 1 friend from early childhood (our mum's were friends) that I'm still very close to but not from primary or secondary schools. Keep in touch with a few from college and uni but were not close.
My friends have all be made in adulthood.

snoutandab0ut · 14/01/2019 00:34

No and it doesn’t bother me. I am occasionally in touch with one person from high school but we don’t have a lot in common. Friends were made in adulthood

MeetOnTheledge · 14/01/2019 00:38

No and no. There were only 10 in my year at primary, friendships were strained by the time we all left and as we went to a secondary school with 200 per year I
lost touch with them all fairly quickly. My teen DCs are still friends with some of theirs though.

Bluesheep8 · 14/01/2019 05:34

No and no. I'm rubbish at keeping in touch with people once they are not in my day to day life.

FiveShelties · 14/01/2019 05:43

No and No. I have t really think hard to remember many of them to be honest. I am an only child, have moved often in UK and emigrated to NZ and perhaps that has something to do with it, I am very comfortable with my own company and really bad at maintaining friendships.

SalrycLuxx · 14/01/2019 06:05

No and no. I still have a passing acquaintance with one person, but that’s it.

GaraMedouar · 14/01/2019 06:07

One friend. She was my best friend all during secondary school. We 're like sisters. Speak on phone now and then, meet up a couple of times a year (too far and busy families for more). We will be friends till the end.

Starlight90 · 14/01/2019 06:56

No. And not from secondary school neither. I had great friends there but you change and realise that you dont have much in common. You start work, make friends, socialise with others, move house, make new friends.

Im telling this to my eldest who us nearly 17. She left school and started college and her friends all stayed on at 6th form. Many because of the Queen Bee. QB stayed on then friend A stayed, then friend B did like friend C and so on. One had plans to go to college but as her friend stated on she scraped through to get into 6th form as it looks good for the school. Her mum said she now regretted it.

DD has lost contact already. She eill post “anyone meeting up?”and they all say can’t be bothered. Im thinking they do plans and don’t want her included. Poor thing. Not many friends in college neither as shes doing a course which only has guys on.

Ive told her she will make friends. Starts driving soon and will be easier to find a job and make new friends.

calmsealife · 14/01/2019 06:58

I have two that I am still close friends with and one of them their kids are my kids best friends.

MeetOnTheledge · 14/01/2019 07:21

Starlight - my closest friends are from my college days, like your DD I could have stayed at 6th form with my friends but didn't. One or two people from my school went to my college but none doing the same courses as me, again like your DD it was nearly all boys on mine. It was amongst them that my long term friendships grew, but it did take time. I still see several of them and am close to their wives too, we are in our 50s. Hope things work out for your DD.

Dauphinois · 14/01/2019 07:25

Nope. My oldest friends are from uni.

Alsonification · 14/01/2019 07:34

I have 5 friends from school who I’ve been friends with for almost 40 years. Still as close as ever. I also have another group of 3 friends who I’ve been friends with since I met them on my first job at age 15 & we are still close. I’ve also one newer friend who I’ve known about 10 years who I adore.
My ds is still very best friends with the first boy he met on his first day of primary school. They sat at the same table & have been inseparable ever since. They are 16 now & even though they’ve made other friends they still are as close as always.

Whatthefunk · 14/01/2019 07:45

I have one friend, from primary school. I love her dearly, but we don't have a lot in common. I think, on the whole, the only thing you have in common with school friends, is that you went to the same school.

DitzyPrints · 14/01/2019 07:48

Friends on fb with some from primary.
My closest friends are from college/uni and mum friends

Starlight90 · 14/01/2019 16:36

Thank you meet. 😘

I can see them coming out of the woodwork once she gets her car and license. Ive told her this!

lemony7 · 14/01/2019 16:40

I have one. Our parents were close so we did a lot together growing up. He lives on the other side of the country now but we still see each other every few months, and text regularly.

museumum · 14/01/2019 16:41

no, two people on my facebook are from primary school but only because they also went to my secondary. we were not particularly friends but all rubbed along fine at secondary and got the bus together. i have other better secondary school friends on facebook but only one i'd be in touch with without facebook.
my oldest best friends are from university, and i have another big group from my 20s in london (we all live scattered around the UK and world).

my husband however, still has the same best friend he had in primary school and goes for beers with another 3/4 from primary school.

Notreallyhere2 · 14/01/2019 16:41

Not friends with anyone from primary or secondary school. Don’t care, have no wish to be and actually actively avoid it!

I don’t really stay in contact with people from old jobs either as a rule.

I like to just move on really!

Seniorschoolmum · 14/01/2019 16:43

No, but I have an ex-classmate who periodically contacts me via social media to tell me his wife doesn’t understand him.

tinytemper66 · 14/01/2019 16:45

I have one friend from primary school-known her since I am 4 and I consider her to be one of my best friends so we have known each other for 48 years 😱😱😱

Yulebealrite · 14/01/2019 17:07

One from primary but only got to know her at secondary. Several from secondary.

InAPreviousLife · 14/01/2019 17:07

I don't have any friends from primary, secondary or college. I was forced to spend time with those people for education, I have very little in common with them so staying in touch was never a priority. Same with quite a number of colleagues.

Funnily though I've since made firm friends with someone that attended the same school as me in a different year so there was at least one person in the 900 that I might have found common ground on, but I'm happy they've come into my life at a time I can appreciate them properly.

Flip

1 2 3