Please critique my wedding timetable

[BuffaloCauliflower]

You lot are always great for pointing out snags in plans others haven’t thought of. I’d be grateful for some critical eyes on my wedding day timetable.

We’ve changed this plan so many times trying to get what’s best for us, best for our guests, and doesn’t cost more than we can afford. Current thoughts are as follows. This is for all guests staying all day, no separate evening guests.

2.30pm - Church ceremony starts. Hopefully late enough most people will have been able to get lunch in before coming. Ceremony roughly an hour.

4-4.15pm - guests get to reception venue 5-10 minutes drive away, assuming ceremony takes until 3.30pm, allowing for some picture taking at the church, some general faffing and possibly waiting for some people doing car ferrying to go back and forth a couple of times.

4.15pm - crisps/dips/nuts/olives. Drinks. Some entertainment TBC.

5.30pm? 6pm? (I cant figure this out. Is 6pm too long from arrival?) wedding breakfast, which is substantial sharers, hot fork buffet, mini dessert options - the food is really important to us and won’t be scrimped on.

7.30/8ish - speeches. Will be 4-5 of us speaking so needs plenty of time.

8.30ish - cake cutting, first dance.

9/9.30pm - Cheese (cheese wedding cake) laid out with crackers, naice breads, chutneys, olives, nuts.

Finish - Wrap up whenever, private land so don’t have to be out by any time.

How does this sound? What am I missing? Would you be hungry? Thanks all.

I agree about speeches before the meal. It can be very nerve wracking for those making speeches to wait through the whole meal (and get hammered in the meantime)

Speeches before the meal doesn’t work- I’ve been to three weddings like that and the guests had already stood about for ages whilstbohotos etc were done and we were ready to have a seat and a meal. Plus most people hold off having much booze until the meal and delivering a speech to a largely sober audience is MUCH harder.
The end of the meal everyone is relaxed and having a coffee or wine and ready to be entertained by the speeches

OP to a huge number of people having meat as part of a meal is important and an awful lot of people won’t enjoy a vegetarian buffet that much. Your choice obviously but if you say the food is a huge part for you and really important than I’m sorry I think you are wrong here.

Many people on here have said the bit between arriving at venue and sitting down to eat can feel long and a bit dull and then you snap back with telling me that having a drink and a chat is enjoyable and as your guests are a young vibe they will be happy to do that. So why ask?
I’ve been to absolutely loads of weddings- well over 50 and can universally say that unless he venue has plenty to do and see, that bit tends to drag on and people get fed up of eating peanuts.

If you want to go on long into the night then start at 3 at the earliest.

One wedding I attended that was amazing had service at 3 then cake and tea at the venue with bar games laid on then champagne and pimms at 6 and meal at 6.30.

Two things:

We had speeches before dinner (nerves, father that likes to drink ) and it worked well

We also provided transport for our guests (a coach) from the church to reception and back in the evening (quite a few stayed in a hotel near the church).

Please check for allergies, my daughter has a nut one so if you had but lying about in the evening like that we wouldn’t come!

*but? Nuts....

She's said already that she'll check for nut allergies.

OP aside from the speeches (way too long imo, I'd be giving 2-3 mins each and not 5-7 when you've that many to get through), it sounds good. God forbid people not have meat at one meal, and unlike the pp I think the vast majority will eat pasta. If all your guests were restricted eaters like that I'd expect to see people who only eat white food etc. You can't be expected to foresee those kinds of issues.

Definitely keep the part between arriving at the reception and the meal short. My favourite part of weddings is sitting around chatting, but that's after the meal and speeches I always hope that if there is dancing there are still plenty of tables out for people who want to sit and chat instead.

I do think that the arrival part, where you are invariably standing, gets uncomfortable quickly, many people will be in shoes that aren't great for standing around in, you are juggling drink, bag and nibbles, people start getting pissed because the Pimms or whatever is flowing and they have an empty stomach and so i agree with keeping that short.

Please put timings in the information - I've skipped lunch and had to raid the bar for crisps equally I've eaten lunch then had a huge meal at 4pm which I couldn't then eat. As others said, keep speeches short - 4-5 is a lot and to most in attendance they are pretty tedious, you zone out after 5 mins (multi media helps keep attention). It's a bit long if I'm honest typically for a 2.30 wedding everything is wrapped up for dancing 7.30 ish.

The absolute worst bit of a wedding is the waiting between church and meal. It's just too long and boring. Some people don't want to sit and drink for two hours before a meal. This is just way too long as a PP has said. Also think there is too many speeches. The first few will be ok but I don't envy the person who is going last that's for sure.

Also not a fan of the veg buffet. Can you give an example of mains? You should have a meat option.

@Morgan12 if the bride is veggie then no, no meat option
People can cope without meat for one meal and most people won't notice

OP asked for people to critique so I am. I'm a meat eater but gave a veg option at my wedding so should I not have?

Also, ALL meat eaters will notice.

We got married at 3.30pm church,photos,arrived around 5pm to venue,ate wedding breakfast 6.15pm.it really flowed no awkward lulls.

I had a church wedding. Ceremony was half 1 but most people were local so only 5-10 mins drive to get there. Reception started at 3, also local.

Upon arrival the buffet was open so people could grab a plate and help themselves to what they wanted. Then we did speeches, first dance etc between about 4 and 6. From 6-8 the kitchen was open for hot meals. All the guests had a menu and could order what they liked from it between 6 and 8. So whenever they were hungry really.

We never made a playlist for the DJ either. Only picked our first dance song and father daughter dance song. We put a jar at the entrance of the reception and everyone could put a song in it they wanted playing.

It was really laid back and not really any stress. I wouldn't have changed it

Definitely wouldn't have speeches before dinner, the majority of people will just be wanting to get on with the meal and have a proper drinks / conversation with their table.

As you are doing quite a lot of speeches I would split them between courses - 2 and then 2.

Are you doing any evening food? I had a 2:30 church service and my timings/food was as below:
14:30 church
16:00 - arrive back at reception
16:00 - 17:30 - canapes and entertainment
17:30 - Seats for dinner - bread and dipping oil on tables
17:45 Two courses, served
19:15 - Speeches
19:45 Coffee, cake, cheese board
20:00 Band
23:30 - Hot Dogs / Veg option

All veg meal is fine....there's got to be something people will like!

Hannah your wedding sounds really lovely! Laid back and guest focused. Bet everyone had an amazing time

And yes in reply of course people can cope with a vegetarian meal and not starve.
But realistically if you are after providing a memorable meal as you stated in your OP- it will be memorable for the wrong reasons to many guests. Sorry but that’s true.

Went to one wedding with only English wines available as the groom felt strongly about them. Awful and really ruined the meal! We still talk about it now.

Have also been to a veggie only celebration meal and the look on people’s faces when they realised was a picture.

OP I love the sound of the cheese wedding cake and how you're planning to serve that.

I'm surprised about the comments on the thread about the vegetarian buffet. I'm not vege but don't think I'd even register that there was no meat option for just one meal/day.

Have a fab wedding.

Will anyone who knows her really expect a vegetarian bride to provide (and therefore pay for) meat in a buffet?

I hate speeches before the meal, you're willing them to be over so you can eat. You get a much better audience after the food when most people are a bit drunk. I think your timetable looks good OP can I come?!

If the food aspect is really as important to you as you say it is then have the speeches after. Although manageable it’s much kinder to the chefs and to the food to have a set time to work to.

The difference between 4 speeches at 5 minutes each and 5 speeches at 7 minutes each would make a huge difference in a kitchen

Definitely group shots first. If you are having mainly candid photos you don't need such a long wait at the reception.

I think most people would prefer to have the meal sooner, then have more time to chat before the music kicks in - especially as there isn't often anywhere to get away from the music.

Also would agree with catering staff to serve the buffet to regulate portions so everyone gets to try the full range of food you are providing. Once everyone has been served you can stand the caterers down and have first come first served for seconds.

If you're asking guests for their music choices for the evening you may get some unusual choices (particularly from older guests). Playing them as background music during the meal can honour their request without impacting the flow of the disco.

Oh and one more vote to say the speeches are one of the best bits at a wedding! I like them after the meal, in the traditional way but totally understand why you'd consider having them before.

Thanks all, really appreciate all the differing views!

I am conscious that most people eat meat most of the time. But me paying for a serving meat - something I am ethically opposed to - isn’t the same as someone else serving me a veggie option at their meat eating wedding. In the same way no-one would go to a Muslim wedding and be annoyed at the lack of pork. Doing it all veggie is upholding my ethical belief that it’s wrong to eat meat, no differently to a religious conviction, whilst still feeding people delicious food. I also want to show people a celebration doesn’t have to mean a dead animal. I’ve discussed this with both our families and they’re both happy with our choice.

But this is why I’ve gone for a buffet rather than one set meal. If there were just one or two main options, both veggie, that’s much less choice than multiple options where people can try different things maybe out of their comfort zone a little, but if they don’t like something there’s something else to try. But I get your points on less ambitious palettes and I think I’ll talk to the caterer about making it more Med/British fusion to hopefully be a little less out there. I might put the whole menu in the invite so people can emotionally prepare themselves, but honestly I want them to notice there’s no meat and still enjoy it, it’s not meant to subterfuge

Mains will be things like spanakopita, aranchini, savoury tart, with potato salads, rice salads, tabbouleh, roast veggies. Substantial but designed for people to have bits of things rather than one main with some sides. Not yet all set in stone though. I have my fussy SIL in mind throughout.

On evening food - yeh this has been a constant conversation, hence putting it to you all! I think I’ll see what doing something inoffensive like pizza later in the evening might cost (we had discussed this as a possibility) and if a silly amount extra I’ll supplement the cheese cake/bread/dips/chopped veggies with sandwiches/cake type things ourselves so not just cheese.

On allergies - of course I will check. That’s a given. A close family member has several food allergies and I’ve discussed with her and we’re omitting those ingredients from the whole menu.

Alexander respectfully it sounds like your diet is very restricted and you’d be hard to feed regardless, but if you were my guest I’m sure we could sort something out. I certainly wouldn’t let you starve!

Timings - yeh I hear you on not waiting around between things, though I can assure you no one will be standing, there will be plenty of places to sit. Venue is not a hotel type where people will be waiting in the lobby, seats will be the same the whole way through and everyone will have one. So no standing and waiting, stick your coat and bag on your chair before loitering with your Pimms Meetontheledge!

I do find the suggestion from some that at weddings you’re at the ceremony, then fed and then you leave as soon as possible quite strange, but maybe that’s just me. I need to talk to the photographer about timings before making any decisions but I’ll be sure to leave as little waiting time as poss. My instinct in general is to leave more time for things so as not to feel rushed, I don’t want military precision and herding people. So leaving space for error in the timings.

Thanks again all, always good to be challenged by your critical eye!

@dulcefarniente missed your bit about music - I’d rather a disco of Motown, ska, country and 90s cheese myself, definitely will get something for everyone in there!