Please critique my wedding timetable

[BuffaloCauliflower]

You lot are always great for pointing out snags in plans others haven’t thought of. I’d be grateful for some critical eyes on my wedding day timetable.

We’ve changed this plan so many times trying to get what’s best for us, best for our guests, and doesn’t cost more than we can afford. Current thoughts are as follows. This is for all guests staying all day, no separate evening guests.

2.30pm - Church ceremony starts. Hopefully late enough most people will have been able to get lunch in before coming. Ceremony roughly an hour.

4-4.15pm - guests get to reception venue 5-10 minutes drive away, assuming ceremony takes until 3.30pm, allowing for some picture taking at the church, some general faffing and possibly waiting for some people doing car ferrying to go back and forth a couple of times.

4.15pm - crisps/dips/nuts/olives. Drinks. Some entertainment TBC.

5.30pm? 6pm? (I cant figure this out. Is 6pm too long from arrival?) wedding breakfast, which is substantial sharers, hot fork buffet, mini dessert options - the food is really important to us and won’t be scrimped on.

7.30/8ish - speeches. Will be 4-5 of us speaking so needs plenty of time.

8.30ish - cake cutting, first dance.

9/9.30pm - Cheese (cheese wedding cake) laid out with crackers, naice breads, chutneys, olives, nuts.

Finish - Wrap up whenever, private land so don’t have to be out by any time.

How does this sound? What am I missing? Would you be hungry? Thanks all.

Oh that makes more sense. In my mind I could envisage a parking lot full of cars full of people waiting for your reception to start.

@Racecardriver oh no! Definitely not I’m sort of timing from when I think we’ll get there, and also what we need to put in place to welcome people there in our absence. I don’t want people hanging around at the church too long if they can be somewhere else getting a drink, but we also will want some photos at the church

In that case sounds like a good plan!

I wouldn't like passed round nibbles or sharing platters either. Just too everyone dipping in, not for me. Luckily I like cheese but I know of so many who hate it.

So I'd have had way too long to stand around drinking and not enough to eat!

When you say "going big" on the food, maybe give guests an idea beforehand of what they are getting as it doesn't sound like the usual wedding breakfast.

How will the food be served? Do people have to queue up? This always seems to take longer than predicted - obviously depending on numbers.
Sounds like a lovely wedding. Speeches are the best bit!

Just to say I love a speech too! Always feel a bit short changed when they are skimped. Sounds a lovely wedding!

@shpoot in my experience the ‘usual wedding breakfast’ is a totally uninspiring take on a roast dinner, it’s always a bit dry and there’s never enough of it. As a Vegetarian, it usually means a claggy risotto or some sort of goats cheese/puff pastry combo! We’re having a huge Mediterranean inspired hot vegetarian buffet, avoiding anything spicy, or too controversial. I would be genuinely shocked if any of my guests didn’t like ANYTHING on it to eat enough. They may not like a few things, but that’s why there’s lots of choice. Much more inclusive than one or two meal options, or worrying who doesn’t like fish, or can’t have beef or pork... everyone can eat vegetarian. The invitation will say sharers and buffet.

@PETRONELLAS yes there will be queuing, but there will be more than one line to speed things up. This is also why we’re putting starters on the table so no one is starving waiting to go up.

OP, are you having the catering people serve the buffet? In my experience, buffets can bring the worst out in some people, especially those who go up first and load their plates beyond what they'd be able to eat. Leaving little or even none for those at the back of the queue.

I know you've said you're overcatering (I love that ) but please don't underestimate people. Having the caterers serve it will help to reduce some of that.

Thanks @MulticolourMophead. There will be serving people but we haven’t discussed this specific point, I will raise it with them.

I'm not vegetarian, but your description of the food sounds yum to me....

Regarding the timings, they don't sound too bad. The last wedding I went to, we had the meal, then some speeches (which weren't too long) and then while we all enjoyed a hot summer evening all sat around outside chatting, the photos were being taken in a laid back way. We just got called up every now and then for the pics. It was a lovely day and a great evening.

Sorry to bring up the service length again, but I'm also a Christian, and have been to a lot (probably about 20) church weddings of friends. An hour is normal for us (evangelical, mostly Anglican). However in the very traditional church where I grew up, services took 30 mins (and were on the hour every hour on Summer Saturdays - there were over 60 weddings a year, so they had to be packed in somehow). We had 4 hymns/songs, and the minster spoke for 15-20 minutes. When I was growing up, there were usually two hymns (I sang in the choir) and 5 minutes from the vicar. If you allow 5 mins per hymn/song, and ask your minister how long they plan to speak for, you'll have some idea of the length of service! You also need about 15 mins to enter/exit and go through the formal wedding part, and we were told to allow 8 minutes to sign the register.

Thank you that’s really helpful

I know several people who would be GUTTED to be presented with a completely vegetarian menu but your choice obvs.

I like speeches if you get some good raconteurs. Have been very entertained at some weddings but a few bad speakers can be awful. Cringing and wishing it was over does not make for a good evening

I would also hate greasy peanuts and olives and crisps as nibbles. The hanging around bit is by far the worst bit of a wedding. Trying hard not to get drunk and just bored and wondering when the meal will be. Keep that short and have some proper canapés on arrival then stop so they aren’t full before the meal. Endless picking at bits for two hours out of boredom will mean they are all too full to eat the buffet.

Personally I love roast dinners I doubt I would eat anything Mediterranean to be honest and I detest cheese. I’m guessing there will be bread though?

I’ve been to many weddings and have never needed to be told to eat lunch before a 2.30 start. I’ve also never been told the full menu. I think too many people nowadays expect the wedding breakfast to be on par with a restaurant menu.

I also think if guests don’t like hearing speeches at a wedding they are attending perhaps they shouldn’t be there. Listening to stories and anecdotes about the bride and groom is one of my favourite parts of the day.

OP I think your wedding sounds gorgeous, please don’t change anything, I’m sure you know your guests and they will love celebrating your wedding your way.
Congratulations and enjoy your day

@Dogsmellssobadbob I feel sorry for those people tbh. If you can’t go one meal without a dead animal in it I think you need to widen your horizons a bit. Surely no one eats meal at literally ever meal? Even my oldest most traditional auntie can cope with a cheese and onion quiche.

Obviously I can’t keep everyone happy, not everything will suit everyone and we’re going for a relaxed party vibe, most of the guests will be young and quite happy to go with a relaxed wedding and something a bit different. Having a drink and a chat and a sit is enjoyable for many people and not just ‘hanging around’.

AlexanderHamilton I love a roast dinner too but at weddings they’re always meagre and uninspiring. I’ll take you not liking cheese but I can’t beleive you wouldn’t like ANYTHING Mediterranean - pasta? Salads?

@doodleygirl cheers

Agree re starting with the big group pictures first. We did that. I went to one wedding where the photos took soooo long, there were only about a dozen people left by the time it got to the "big" group picture.

No, I don’t eat pasta. Salads I eat lettuce, grated carrot and sweet corn (no dressings).

Based on my own wedding a couple of years back I would offer this advice.

You're leaving it far too long to start the wedding breakfast. An hour maximum after you expect to arrive at the venue. Of course offer drinks and nibbles to your guests but you are expecting them to wait around for a long time. Photos don't take that long.

3 hours between the start of the meal and cake cutting and the first dance is a long time. I'll be honest, I'd have been bored if that had been my wedding.

Don't forget that for any elderly relatives you have that between the start of the church ceremony and the cheese course that it's a 9 hour day after they've got up early and got themselves ready. We kept our day short but both our DMs - in their late 70s - went home early as they were tired.

I would definitely have drinks and nibbles available as guests arrive at the venue and while the faffing and photos are going on. That can feel like an age and many guests are not in any or all of the photos so they can mingle and enjoy snacks/glass of something while photos are being done. We did it like that at our wedding and it worked really well. There's nothing worse than being at a wedding and being hungry and thirsty or stood around bored!

Oh ignore me sorry just reread your post and that is what you are doing!

I agree with above poster though.

To be fair though Alexander - that is you that clearly has a very restricted diet. Lucky you aren't a friend of the OP's then