Held a newborn today and my heart feels like it is breaking

[WinterCoatigan]

I've been single all my life and I don't think it will change. I'm 34 so time is really running out.

I want a baby and a family so so much. It seems like an actual physical pain.

I met DH at 36 through OLD, now early pregnant at 40 (hoping it sticks). There is hope!!

I met DP through OLD when I was 39. We had a baby when I was 44.

You have plenty of time OP.

Thank you all, shadylady in particular. Time to go to bed and wake up feeling better tomorrow.

@WinterCoatigan no worries, hope tomorrow is a better day. Think we need to get online, other posters seem to have done very well! Congratulations on the marriages, pregnancies and babies - very inspiring!

Shady I dont think normal people ask people out anymore. From what I remember about dating in my early 30's...you arrange a mutually interesting meeting, cinema, walk, exhibition, coffee. It isn't formally a date. Then you have three more of this type where you establish if you actually like them enough to spend any time in their company. Preferably they are part of a friendship group so you can talk about mutual friends however remote. Then you don't contact them for a bit, and see if you actually miss them. And hey presto. You both realise you are quite interested in each other. There was never any asking out involved.

I had my first child at 34/35 btw.

I’m so sorry OP

I know lots of really lovely people have offered advice on this thread, but I doubt it’s that easy. It’s ok to feel down and sorry for yourself for a while.

2 of my childhood friends, currently in their late 30s, have never had proper relationships. One is very happy, one would have loved to have settled down and had children. They are both quirky, but no more so than other friends who are married with children.

parties are a good way of meeting people. Drinks parties or casual suppers, which you yourself host, and invite all sorts of "nice" people two. Old and young. People you don't know well, who are couples, will know other people too. You just have to widen the net.

In the old days there was no online dating. It was the workplace and friends of friends. And pubs.

Hard as it is, do keep putting yourself out there. It’s true, there as lot of loser men out there, but you only need to meet one decent one.

I met my now DH on datetheuk website 16 years ago! He was very shy and inexperienced having always worked in a male dominated industry and wanted a steady girlfriend.

Sending luck your way that you meet someone soon and there is still plenty of time to have a baby.

OP I hope you'll get out there and meet a nice man. There are some great suggestions in Nettleskein's post.
Reminded me of a friend who met her husband at a museum's singles evening. Neither had married before, they're very happy although, sadly, she's past the menopause.

I don't think yoga is a likely place to meet a potential partner and I can understand why dating groups are daunting. I would be unsure too.
To make friendships (male or female, relationships or friendships) you need to interact with people and get to know them.
A previous poster listed some good suggestions.
Sonewhere like a local drama group or a volunteering group where you all go and do an activity like hedge planting, gardening, decorating etc would be good. Somewhere you are all together and chatting and informally getting to know each other.
If you really want to meet someone you need to get out there and meet people.
Good luck.

I met my husband a few months before I turned 30, on match.com.

One of my best friends is 36 and just had her first baby. She and her husband met when she was 34, for married when she was 35.

Another is pregnant with her first at 37, having met her boyfriend on tinder 2 years ago.

Yet another had her first at 42, she didn’t meet her husband until she was 38.

I've just remembered a man I knew who joined a social club in London. As I recall it was quite expensive but involved lots of meals out with always a slightly different group of people.

@Nettleskeins That’s interesting about normal people not asking others out or going on dates simply because that doesn’t seem to be the case amongst my friends...they still get asked out but most of them are sleeping with each other by the 3rd date if not the 1st! I’d be more comfortable getting to know someone slowly through my hobbies or friendship groups but have often been left in the friend zone, or confused or discovered they have a girlfriend/wife/kids/are gay/asexual and they genuinely thought we just had shared interests and were enjoying the walk/play/gig. I hate that is it a date isn’t it a date feeling but feel modern dating is a bit too fast paced for me. All people in my parents circle, and indeed my parents, met at work. My career is full of single women and gay men!

It’s all so confusing!

Have a look at Meet Up, and be prepared to go to other cities that are nearby, not just the one that's local to you.

I’ve heard excellent reports about www.citysocializer.com/.

Just an observation. I'm almost 70 now and for various reasons i know more 30 somthing women than any other age ranges but they all are complaining that where are the good men who aren't married or gay?

It seems as much as they go out, mix, socialaise party etc much the same result. Two have tried internet dating and have had some grim responses men of my age after them! Let alone all the dross who have bene divoirced or kicked out by other women

It seems to be sometimes just a matter of fate who you might bump into and when, but i only suppose that the more you are out and mixing then better the chances of a good end result.

WinterCoatigan

Heres hoping that it does happen for you 'ere not too much longer:)