Worst Chat Up Line Ever

[HouseOfGoldandBones]

Was in the barbers this week with DS(14) & while he was getting cut, I was sitting waiting, just playing on my phone.

A man came in (about 10 years older than me) & started chatting to me, he seemed a little socially awkward, but we were having a pleasant enough conversation about the festive period, and he was definitely flirting. I offered up that I was just getting over the cold, but still had a bit of a cough & a runny nose.

His response was "ooooh, I do like a bitch with a wet nose"

He wasn't being malicious, but a poorly judged comment.

I think this is definitely the worst chat up line I've ever received.

What did you say?

I stared very hard at him, at which point he apologised & said he "didn't mean it like that" then he nervously laughed.

So when’s the wedding?

If it wasn't for his dress black shoes with his ironed jeans oh, and DP I may have considered it

A man once stood next to me at a bar and after a couple of minutes looking at me weirdly he said 'you are actually quite pretty despite your eye bags' 🙄

My friend at the time who fancied me asked if I had pet insurance. When I replied no why. His response was "coz I wanna smash your pussy"

A guy was really excited to tell me he's never dated a black girl before....needless to say I wasn't going to change that

"I bet you're amazing in bed...women with small tits usually are cos they have to try harder"

No it didn't have me falling into his arms

My sons barber this weekend messaged me online saying ‘I’d love to give you my 🍆 ‘

We’ve never spoke before apart from me asking for the hair cut/thanking/paying. That’s probably my worst so far.

Friend chatting up a girl told her “she was the loveliest girl he had ever seen “ She looked rather hurt and walked away. It was only some time later that he found that being in a rather noisy place at the time that she had heard “loveliest” as “ugliest”

I was told by a drunken stranger, with no preamble whatsoever, that I was 'alright for a fat bird'.

"I've only got a little dick, but I've got seventeen stone to push it in with!"

I'll pass, thanks.

Not to me, but to one of my friends in a south London club. " I asked you to dance because you're the only one who looks like they wash between their legs." Many years ago, but I never forgot it as it is the all time low.

Ex boyfriend ‘for a dark haired girl you don’t have much of a moustache do you?’

Just putting this out there, I think someone said it to my sister in a pub:

"Are you a mechanic? Because every time I look at you my nuts tighten."

"Are you a mechanic? Because every time I look at you my nuts tighten."

That's quite funny, to be fair

“I’m not the nicest person, I’m a bit of a twat really, but I like your hair”

Said to me last week at one of our local pubs at the bar buying drinks for dh and I (hadn’t seen him before).

Er....right.

D’oh, hadn’t seen this guy before, not dh obviously.

It wasn’t a chat up line I don’t think, it was just..weird.

Many years ago, I'd say I was around 21, in a nightspot known locally as a bit ropey. a group of us went as one of our group had started working on the doors there. I was at the bar waiting to be served when the guy next to me said so, how many kids have you got then? Not sure where he was going with that one!

In a nightclub many years ago a man came up, walked around me and said 'now that's what I call an arse'. If someone said that to me now I'd reply 'ditto' but I didn't have the confidence in those days

Looked me up and down and announced “you’ll do, wanna fuck”?

There's a guy in my local who is always drunk. Insists I am a copper who nicked him once (I'm not) and everytime he sees me, declares it to the whole bar... Not a chat up line as such but very odd!!!

I can't remember the last time I was chatted up 😭😭

Oh!! I remember one... To 15 year old me in a tight strappy vest top. "If those puppies are for sale, can I have the one with the pink nose"

Took my years to work out what it meant