Would you give an 18 year old access to 50 grand + via child isa?

[Willbeatjanuaryblues]

Just wondering.
There maybe chance gp are willing to put full amount in which would be 50 grand plus for eldest child. They said they are happy with the the child getting access at 18.

I'm not sure it's a great idea. I have another thread about uni fees etc which this money could go on but tonight with dh... I was discussing the power aspect.

Eg dd wants to go to out, normal 18 year old may not have funds but we say stay in tonight, she says... F you I'm paying for taxi I have the means....

Put it in trust. Recipe for disaster and exploitation unless your kids very responsible, it should be used for education, travel or a house, not pissing it up or worse with fair weather friends and hangers on

At 18 even 16 you can't stop them going out but they have no experience and will be ripped off or waste it

The problem with putting it in a trust to be accessed at eg 25, 30 is that it comes with high costs to set up and manage. And they can usually borrow against the money at 18 anyway.

I think the most you can do Crusoe is appeal to your in-laws to look into a Disabled Persons Trust for DS. Though your in-laws would be deciding who the Trustees will be, which may cause further issues.

I was sensible with money at 18. So was one of my university flatmates. Our other flatmate was dreadful, though - she could make £50 disappear like a magician. She is affluent now though, having qualified as a doctor and developed a more prudent attitude to money during her 20s.

So, I'd say it depends. My older son, I wouldn't trust with that sum at 18 - last month, he'd spent £170 Christmas money on clothes, books and Xbox by 28/12. My younger son is more frugal. I'd made them both save £50 (they both got £220 in total) older son wasn't happy, younger son understood. I know which will be better with money at age 18!

We had this situation OP. In Laws started by saying they wanted to give money towards DS's university costs. When he was 16 we discovered that they had been investing money for him with their own financial advisor, and that when he turned 18 he would have £100k plus of his own!

We were pretty horrified, we didn't really know the details of what they were planning and would certainly have advised against this way of doing it.

Funnily enough, there is no way on gods earth that they would ever have given DH, their own son, the equivalent amount of money! I think that the tax efficiency implications were also more important to them than the thought of what an 18 yo might do with that amount of dosh.

By the time my DS turned 18 FIL had died, but I think that MIL suddenly realised that they might have made quite a bad mistake.

He is 20 now, and all is well so far. He is at university, we pay tuition fees and he pays all his other expenses and so we have avoided a student loan. He is a sensible boy, he has met the financial manager who handled the investments for him. We have all agreed a reasonable amount for him to access each year. He is not wildly extravagant, but he was able to afford the uni ski trip without any extra debt, and I am pleased for him for that.

However, there is a downside as well. He has never had to work for extras, and like others I do worry about what could happen if he fell into bad company. There is absolutely nothing we can do to stop him if he wants to blow the lot.

This is what my kids will have when they turn 18. I'm dreading it but it's their money so if they want to go travelling/put a deposit on a new car/house then it's their money to do so.

@tontonmacoute

Sp!!

That's exactly my issue. Fil seems unable to think in any other terms, like the human cost. There's something odd about him, he would be sweating over the tax implications and think nothing of the human cost.

From my pov I wasted a lot of time in waitress jobs when if I had that money I could have done in paid work experience etc.

But I definitely want dd to work.
And yes they would never trust dh worth that money now, over 40 with a job and family!

I worry about the control aspect of it.
If fil passed away I don't think they would get a penny off Mil though.

table exactly I don't belive you should give money and then attach strings.

I'm worried it would be used as a control tool.. They do not things allowed the time to try and manipulate us... I'm dreading it when they contact the children directly.

Eg they ask them about Christmas, but not out of genuine interest but to try and find out where we were and who we were with.

I would give them smaller amounts every year (i.e to pay for uni accommodation) then the rest on graduation

@Willbeatjanuaryblues

The control question is problematic, but surely once they have set up a scheme to benefit your DC then it is a done deal. They could stop paying into the scheme, but they couldn't withhold the money once the DC came of age, so in some ways it does limit their control slightly.

My MIL is highly manipulative, although we do have a reasonably good relationship. I will never understand the relationship between her and DH though - her only child! She has been so vile to him several times since we married (22 years ago) even though he thinks constantly of how he/we can help make her life easier and better. She is so suspicious of his motives, I just could never imagine treating our own DS (also an only child) in that way.

Anyway, if it is any reassurance, she did eventually give herself away, and DS realised that it wasn't his father bullying poor little old grandma at all!

Be straight and open with your DCs, your influence and example will have the strongest effect on them I am sure.

No way, 21 at a push depending on the DC & how sensible they generally are

No

Depends on the child
DD has money which she knows about and has done since 16 - she's 20 now - And substantially larger amount than you mention. It's all moved about every year or so to get better interest rates but frankly she's got no interest in accessing it and all paperwork at home as she's at university
She's not spent half her maintenance loan from last year and not interested in clothes or clubbing really (she did all her clubbing before 18 and got bored of friends going on about their drugs, taking drugs, being off their faces etc)
She says she saving it for a house/car etc in future

I've name changed as this is outing. For my 16th birthday my stepdad gave me £30k in premium bonds, all in my name. Just before I went to university I invested the money in a stock-market linked saver, worked through most of university and by the time I left I had £70k. I used the money towards a house deposit and wedding and still have money left and am a keen saver. Getting so much money at an early age taught me to think of investments and savings at an early age and I am incredibly grateful for that!

Dc 1 is very sensible, definalty has delayed gratification, I've seen it action time and time again, she's super bright and good at maths 😁.

Of coursework things could change radically by 18. But I do think she has a sensible rational core.

Other dc however is wild, emotional, temperamental etc.. I imagine wild excess at 18 with a lump sum. Then you also have 1 dc potentially supported comfortable thru uni, potential car etc and maybe even deposits and the other... Squiddly dot

I think dc 1 would be good with that.

Re control.. Yes in 7 years time what can an older grandparent do I suppose..

God no. If I had had that sort of money at 18, I would have nothing to show for it now. I was given a similar amount at 25 though and by then was mature and sensible enough to invest it in purchasing my own home.

I bought my first home at 19. I’d moved out at 17.

An 18 year old is legally an adult. It’s a parent’s job to prepare their child/ren for adult life. DD (8) will have at least £50k at 18 and it will be up to her to decide what to spend it on, not ours.

@Crusoe does your child get pip? Do they not have control of that?

No currently ds is too young for PIP.

My intention is that I involve DC more and more in the investment decisions of their JISAs so that the handover at 18 is relatively smooth. Ideally, they should keep/self manage their turned into adult ISAs under advice and just take dividend income sufficient for their needs in order to retain the capital otherwise, make an informed decision as to what to sell.

I don’t subscribe to all the handwringing on this thread - the majority of 18 yr olds are level headed - what’s not to like about growing investments and savings especially if it represented a large part of your Christmas and birthday money for your entire childhood. A little financial knowledge goes a long way and definitely a lesson for delayed gratification!

Sansou I think it's how the 18 year old feels, what they want to do. An 18 year old who is steady, steady secure family, no traumas or issues, focused on future, perhaps with a saturday job for spends etc, who has been allowed access to manage the their accounts won't see it as huge bounty to plunder.

For me at 18 I had traumatic home lifetime that money would have gone I had no focus on the the future because I was trying to survived the now! Dc who are encouraged to get Saturday jobs etc... Works, save and manage money... Won't I don't think see it as such a big deal...

My worry for DS1 particularly is due to his ASD he might be manipulated into spending it on someone else. If he blows the lot on himself that's fair enough. At 13 he shows no signs of being anything other then sensible with money, always weighs up what he spends it on, doesn't fritter and has low interest in friendships etc but who knows how he'll be at 18. I was thinking of trying to find an account that doesn't have online access for spending. But I suppose if he's motivated enough, he'll swap it to one he can use online.

Personally It was now by the age of 25ish that I got my act together about money.

I wouldn't give access at 18.

I suspect my children will have a similar amount from in-laws when they turn 18.

DH and his brother are incredibly safe, boring, cautious types who left university with savings due to the ratio of working: fun they had.

I and SIL, are more normal. SIL has CCJs on her credit history, I had full overdraft, credit card bill on graduation.

ILs seem to think there is no problem with five grandchildren coming into substantial funds to spend on “whatever they want”, because their experience of what 18 year olds want are cheap to insure cars, savings for a future deposit or university costs. They laugh off any possibility that it could be frittered away. It makes me really cross for all the reasons on this thread.