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Original poster

Would you give an 18 year old access to 50 grand + via child isa?

139 replies

Willbeatjanuaryblues · 05/01/2019 23:13

Just wondering.
There maybe chance gp are willing to put full amount in which would be 50 grand plus for eldest child. They said they are happy with the the child getting access at 18.

I'm not sure it's a great idea. I have another thread about uni fees etc which this money could go on but tonight with dh... I was discussing the power aspect.

Eg dd wants to go to out, normal 18 year old may not have funds but we say stay in tonight, she says... F you I'm paying for taxi I have the means....

OP posts:
MarcieBluebell · 05/01/2019 23:26

Please don't. At 18 you have no idea. Put it towards her morgage. Defs don't pay towards being a student as saving ect is part of it and student loans are more like taxes.

It's unfair to let someone piss away money without living a bit first.

madmum5811 · 05/01/2019 23:26

Friends son inherited 200k at 18, blew it all in a few years. He bitterly regrets it now, he could have bought a house cash with it as his parents advised him to do at the time.

CherryPavlova · 05/01/2019 23:28

Definitely not and I don’t know any sane and loving parent who would. Most of our friends have either trust funds for specific funding such as university costs or give money for specific support such as houses. The only two lads I know who had direct and uncontrolled access to substantial amounts of money are very sad individuals. One inherited £250k from grandparents but has frittered most on gambling and alcohol and remains unemployed. The other sadly is a drug addict with serious mental,health problems. He’s fairly well off still but deeply troubled.
Most of our friendship groups expect their children to achieve a reasonable living from their own efforts. They may help with deposits, cars, holidays etc but it’s not just a hand out.

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18 years old
SurfClub · 05/01/2019 23:30

I've had to due to the way grandparents set up children's trust funds. Made them aware of the situation up-coming from 16 and tried to in-still a sensible financial head. Had sensible discussions about available money to borrow for university (at the time they were set up the idea was all of uni and a house deposit would be covered with that much money- hollow laugh). When the time came the one who has access had a good relationship with the lovely account manager in bank and was persuaded to use a couple of good ISAs so the majority is harder to touch. It's not a situation I want my children in because it means I don't have any monetary control but sometimes I think that had crossed my dads mind. So far not been pissed up the wall and actually it's been a boon because I haven't had to pay for a lot of things for uni that would have been out of my pockets range.

I would have said 'no way never' and I'd discussed that sort of money not being something I wanted for them at a young age but in the end it wasn't my decision to make so am incredibly grateful and hope that it's a source of good in their lives. Just getting DS2 up to speed about the responsibility but he seems very sensible about money and DS1 has been amazingly good too so far.

It's definitely an amazing gift in this day and age and I never underestimate how wonderful it is that it counts as one of my worries. Just wish they'd give some to me Wink.

Original poster
Willbeatjanuaryblues · 05/01/2019 23:30

@studentnurse81.

Just to be clear I've been living off reduced food for 11 years living hand to mouth

We have had no money for anything. This is my in laws who I really don't like actually and would rather didn't have anything to do with and who have made my life and utter misery since I've known them doing this.

My own parents are both dead and whilst I work so our finances have eased...WE ARE still a low income family.

Which is another reason why I'm wary as I said earlier of our 18 year old having more spending power than us.

OP posts:
OneStepMoreFun · 05/01/2019 23:30

I have no choice. A relative left DC each a big sum of money which they have total control over at 18. The only thing we have been able to do is to discuss from a young age what this money is for. We've said it's a one off to pay for uni or mortgage deposit and that if they fritter it away like trustafarians they'll regret it for the rest of their lives. I've gone on a fair bit about how rare it is and how much of a difference it will make if they are sensible with it. So far, they do seem to be thinking of it n practical ways. But once it's in their accounts... It worries me a lot tbh. If the relative had left it to us, not skipped a generation, it would have been spent on DC wisely, to set them up for life.

LeSquigh · 05/01/2019 23:31

Even if they can legally get at it at 18 you don’t have to tell them it exists until you think they are ready.......

LeSquigh · 05/01/2019 23:32

My son will have financial products available to him when he is 18 (that I have set up, although nowhere near that value). I don’t plan to tell him they exist until I think he’s ready for it Smile

OneStepMoreFun · 05/01/2019 23:32

Willbe - we are in a similar position. It's a very weird situation, isn't it? DC being richer at 18 than we have ever been or ever will be.

Youmadorwhat · 05/01/2019 23:33

Not a hope!! No way! 23-25 is plenty of time

Original poster
Willbeatjanuaryblues · 05/01/2019 23:35

Cherry. My in laws are well off and yet would never give this sum to dh 🤔.
Once they asked us what we wanted for Xmas, dh said some money to a new bed... They tried to choose and buy a bed for us.

They are super controlling.

Which is why this seems odd to me.

On the other hand surf... It's also crossed my mind that it would be a huge weight off dh and I for them to have their own funds.. And ease our burden a little.

but a very good friend of mine and one who is and has been super creative and successful..
Said... Being comfortable doesn't help creativity.. Sometimes it's that struggle which makes you successes..

OP posts:
DobbinsVeil · 05/01/2019 23:36

I've been looking in trust funds etc because my mum left her estate to my 4 DC. Will states to inherit at 21. The advice I've had so far, is that because of the relatively small amount involved (circa 30/40k each), a lot would get gobbled up by trust fund fees, and trust funds have to be registered and tax returns completed. I was told I'd be better putting it in a bank account and then neglecting to inform until they're 21. But I'm not sure if that idea will really work, in case they have to declare any savings for some reason.

SushiMonster · 05/01/2019 23:37

No fucking way

ISdads · 05/01/2019 23:37

How about a help to buy isa?

I have a similar amount for each child in accounts they can access age 18 but am thinking of switching at least some to a help to buy isa

I will tell them its not really their money til 25 anyway. They are good kids

DobbinsVeil · 05/01/2019 23:40

My mum very much left the money to the DC as a last fuck you! She had been upfront about it but I'm not sure she really considered the vulnerable position she'd put them in tbh. 2 of them have ASD.

CherryPavlova · 05/01/2019 23:44

Willbeatjanuaryblues I find that quite sad for them. One of the greatest pleasures has to be giving funds to allow a young couple to choose something and see the joy it brings them. What a waste of their wealth not to use it to share joy! Although in fairness, ours were all home tonight to have a curry to say Bon voyage to their youngest sister who’s back out to Italy tomorrow. I found myself on Amazon for my son who ‘needed’ a food processor to make his girlfriend a birthday cake. I did get controlling and tell him it was a mixer rather than food processor he needed. Then paid - so maybe it’s inevitable that parents will be slightly controlling. Choosing a bed seems to stretch beyond that though.

notangelinajolie · 05/01/2019 23:44

No. I wouldn't give it all at 18. I had a similar decision to make and decided to give each of my DC's 1k each for spending on whatever they wish. The rest is available when they are 25. I am really proud of them that none of them went out and spent their 1k on nothingness. Eldest is already over 25 so put all hers on a house deposit. 2nd eldest has used hers to pay off overdraft from uni. Youngest hasn't spent a penny and has opened a lisa. Hoping the youngest 2 will also used their inheritance when they get it for house deposits like the eldest.

Original poster
Willbeatjanuaryblues · 05/01/2019 23:46

I wonder if they are allowed help to buy as well as junior isa.

With junior isa they can have cash and stocks and shares.

I envisaged the amount in there now.. And hopefully what it might be at 18 would be enough for driving lessons, car, insurance.... And some of travel or fun.... If. They went into further study or work.. What's left would be base for them with part time work... To keep them ok.

We don't actually get on well with in laws. We find them invasive and controlling.

As much as I wouldn't want drug addictions to be enabled at 18 I also wouldn't want my in laws cold hand of wealth on their shoulders making them afraid of money.

I don't want to turn this down for them either.

OP posts:
SurfClub · 05/01/2019 23:48

Willbeat it sounds like we are in a very similar situation. As a family we are what my father disparagingly calls 'hand to mouth' in that we don't have much in the way of savings and by the end of the month that's it for my income, I end up asking for household goods (curtains etc) for my presents yet my children have handsome savings BUT it has taken a huge weight off as DS1 starts uni. Deposit for student halls - covered. Car insurance (for lovely car bought by my father) - covered. Books, kit, kitchen ware for halls, all something I haven't had to worry about. It's truly not what I would have chosen because it scares the hell out of me but managed well so far it has been a boon and really stopped a lot of stress about how to cope with a child leaving home. Although I have to say if my grandparents had done it for me I would have pissed it up the wall so I am grateful for (so far) much more sensible children!

Silkei · 05/01/2019 23:50

Hahaha NO. At 18 I had a bit of money and spent it all by 21. “Friends” asking to borrow because they knew I had money and then not paying it back. Or suggesting I should buy a round of drinks etc. Boyfriends pestering for expensive gifts and treats because I could afford it. Plus a few holidays and stuff like leather jackets and jewellery. I reckon I was 25 before I was responsible enough to be trusted with a lump sum.

SurfClub · 05/01/2019 23:54

OneStep I'm with you, it's very odd having children with much more money than I've ever had!

Original poster
Willbeatjanuaryblues · 05/01/2019 23:55

Yes very similar surf. But I could handle my dad better than dh with his parents.

I think the money in there now, without major additions will be a nice some to come into.. As said enough for car, insurance some of freedom...

And I think gp should put anything else into specific account for Lisa or on my other thread people even mentioned a pension!

I do belive young people should have someone years just having fun and not worrying... And living... Sometime that gap from 18 to early 20 is the only true freedom anyone will have.

OP posts:
sansou · 05/01/2019 23:57

Well, my answer will be yes.

Current maintenance costs for uni is estimated at £8k - £10k pa. My eldest DC is 15 so in a few years’ time, it’s feasible that you’ll not see much change from £50k if you intend to help them with living costs alone (would still have the tuition fees loan).

Original poster
Willbeatjanuaryblues · 05/01/2019 23:58

But surf*
Why is your dad giving so much money to gc but not you then?

Why wouldn't he give it to you to give gc!

OP posts:
SurfClub · 05/01/2019 23:58

I'm also reassured that DS1 was properly student skint by the end of term because he's tied all his cash up in ISAs that mean he can't access the money easily. I think educating him for a couple of years and scaring the hell out of him has worked well. I can't go to the bank with him anymore but all my children have had a relationship with the advisor there since they were 11 when I set up accounts for them so hopefully that works well in their favour. It's also why I hate the current move to automated banking because I think the human touch has made them more thoughtful.