Hi everyone.
So the story is that husband rushed me into marriage last year as he was getting a job abroad and I wouldn't have been able to see him without being married (we'd been together rather a long time prior to marriage). We have 2 kids age a 6mnths and 5.
So, whilst he was away working, I can only gather he had time and space to figure what he wanted but to me he became very distant and disinterested when I called to keep in touch. Like he was reading something on a screen or something and not paying attention. He apparently kept telling me he was lonely and upset but apparently I was not listening and am an uncaring person. To be honest I thought keeping in touch and tagging him in everything we did (me n kids and his family etc) was helping him. But on reflection I guess what he needed was intimacy...I needed it too but was so busy with the baby and my son (who also had been having behavioural issues) that I didn't realise how bad things were. Plus H just gave me one word answers and didn't initiate convo and despite his loneliness all I saw on social media was pics of him out partying wirh his new workmates, going for massages, gym swimming etc. Took out a loan for a shiny new car.All this time he never once asked me how I was coping (To be fair I would tell him anyway which prob didn't help and usually ended in an argument with him telling me how bad it was for him and how he's love to be rolling about with the kids😜) or asked about the kids and even stopped ringing to speak to them. Still, only a few weeks before he told me that he had found love with someone else on Boxing day, he was pushing for us to go out to live with him. My ds had been looking forwards all year to seeing daddy, had jabs done , I paid about 600 quid in medical tests for us all and new passports, and told ds teacher he wouldn't b back next term. Ds was petrified of jabs and theres me comforting saying it'll be worth it to see daddy. However, boxing day I got the text, he's fallen in love with another and didn't love me anymore and hadn't for ages. Though apparently I'd been given plenty chances?he never even took his wedding ring over with him(he's lost weight n it didn't fit, but...).so he came back for a few weeks while I had our other ds.
It turns out he met a young (17 years age difference) Filipino woman who he would have gone with but she had turned him down when he said he had family and kids since she'd been messed about by a married man previously who didn't leave wife for her. This only made him like her more and he has contact with her...so she wasn't really serious about backing off and wrecking a home. The first day I knew was awful, I Checked my msged as I'd sent him a video of baby and the msge I saw was I'm sorry my heart belongs to a orher or something. I thought it'd been going on ages but he says only 2 weeks but he knows she's the one she's young fit and a lift caring person and he sent me a pic of her, to 'let me see. Said something about me fighting for him. He expected me to do that. To which oh replied I can never competewith that. And I was angry at that point. I just wanted divorce. He also i might add said he slept with 2 whores who loved him😜He msged why not and more confusing msged ensued. Anyway I obv. Didn't fight enough and now he's made his decision he loves her and wants to be with her...And kept apologizing and he admits he feels sorry for me and that he's a coward, selfish etc
I suppose i had it coming as ill admit that our relationship has never been peaches and cream. I guess I had some issues and he had some very odd issues when I think about it but I still invested into the relationship.
Just wondered what people think. Have I been uncaring, not fulfilling my husband's needs( he does say he expected too much) but it's making it worse for me him being so nice about everything. He's said financially he'll help any way he can(I do work and put money into house but it's in his m
Name) today he said I can have house if I want but the I don't earn enough to take on mortgage unless anyone knows a way round this. I hmgave him 30000from sale of my house so really f**d about this. But he's said financially he'll help. But then, he also said he loves me. So when I said I couldn't trust him now he just said he cares even though he doesn't love. Also hes not great with money even tho earns a lot.I just went to get through all this so I can focus on kids but it's just awful. I've only cried twice as my viewpoint is that he's not worth it after how he's treated us but does that mean I'm unfeeling? I don't know. I think we'll be better off really but just want it to be over and it never really will be😥