Entitled parenting at Waddesdon Manor this afternoon...

[bookwormsforever]

Previous post was deleted because I mentioned names...

We were sitting in Wigwam cafe outside watching a light installation. There was a semi circle of trees, each being lit up. Two screens behind a rope for kids to press and the lights changed colours.

Anyway, two kids went under the ropes and over to the lights. They SAT on a light, breaking the cover off. Then they turned two lights so they faced the opposite way. Parents? Standing watching them with indulgent smiles. Kids were about 5.

When the dad went over to call them back, I said to him, do you think you could parent your children? They're not meant to be behind the ropes, they're spoiling it for everyone, and they've damaged a light. He just looked at me and said 'right'. Then as he walked away he flipped me the bird (the kids said; I didn't see).

What a knob. And the mum too. No wonder kids are enttiled if this is the sort of shitty parenting they grow up with.

@wrap - I'm glad we didn't have the kids with us as they get pissed off watching indulged children. It's so predictable, isn't it? Lovely lights though and a lovely city - we visit often as my in laws live nearby.

Ah OP I am with you totally and I’m local to Waddesdon, I hope I know you. I have to agree with PP that the more middle class a person the more entitled they can be.

I have to confess though that DD has a bit of a history with Waddesdon. I have NC as all my friends know these stories:

DD when nearly 2 - charges through a barrier to get to a beautifully decorated reindeer, sets off an alarm.
DD when nearly 3 - has a massive tantrum, we are asked to leave, I pick her up to go and she wees all over me.
DD when nearly 4 - has another massive tantrum, we left of our own accord this time.

We didn’t return for some years, but really enjoyed our visit this year. I’m sure I’d have reacted like you, I hate it when people spoil things for others.

We were on holiday recently and shocked at the number of children who just weren't being watched by their parents. In pools no less, wondering about the resort, we even inadvertently babysat a few can't ever tell little Johnny or Princess off though

Do you think you could find a more pleasant way to ask?

Are you for real? 😂

I think I've met Archie, from further up the thread, on a flight back in the Summer. He was very, very noisy and spirited and could not keep still for love nor money. He was occasionally sitting with his great-grandparents 3 rows in front of his parents, or playing in the aisle, his mother spent the whole flight calling out "Archie, sit still" "Archie, calm down", "Archie, if you move again you're coming to sit by me!" I don't know what was worse, her shouting or his behaviour.

When we were coming into land we found out that it was good news and we hadn't needed to divert to a different airport after all, but we'd all missed that we might have needed to because Archie was making such a bloody row.

My BIL and SIL are exactly like this with my niece. It's not the kids fault at all - she's been made to become this spoiled, rude little brat, all because they think she's funny and cute.

I've said before on a thread, but I was appalled at the behaviour of some parents at a pick your own pumpkin place, a few years ago.

It seemed to be a couple families come as a group with around 6 DC all together. Aged between 3 and 7/8ish. the kids were jumping on the pumpkins, throwing any they could lift to try and smash them, kicking them some more to spread the debris as far as possible. The parents? had the big lense cameras out to capture such wonder, even encouraging them to throw the pumpkins up in the area and pose, and "go on give it a kick now so we can catch the smash"

what utter waste of the farmers product and of course the mess spread over the field, and pumpkin flesh landing on and rotting other pumpkins.

I just don't get it, just why and how can you be so arrogant to think this is all fine and dandy? although their little cherubs will no doubt grow up to be just as arrogant.

Must’ve been the day for it. I was in reiss today while 2 kids (guessing 5 & 8) ran amok amongst the rails, under tables hands through all the clothes chasing each other. Mum stood in queue in front of me- completely ignored them

Ahh but they weren't on scooters though, were they? (That really gets my goat!!).

Good for you, OP. It's not the child's fault. I vividly remember when my daughter was tiny and starting to get mobile, well over 25 years ago now (gulp). I had to learn very quickly that sometimes a parent needs to say 'No!' and mean it. The time for long explanations and discussions comes later, when they can understand what you're saying. In the moment, you have to act, for the sake of the child's safety or to prevent them damaging something or someone. The parent has to be in charge. The child doesn't have any common sense at first and unselfish behaviour doesn't come naturally, it has to be taught and (most importantly) the parents have to teach by example.

There were parents I met back then who found it difficult to say no to their children and preferred to turn a blind eye or bleat ineffectually. I expect some of those children are now rearing their own in the same way.

Well, planespotting, if you don’t let him fiddle with things that are not his, then this wouldn’t have been you today, and all would be fine...
No OP I don't let him and in several occasions I have been annoyed at people touching historical artefacts, art with a clear sign explaining why you should't.

When I take him to a garden or a NT Trust I am like a hawk so he respect these properties

It is hard work but I take it seriously.
I was just saying that maybe some people see me letting him do some things and think I am crap though.
Yesterday he was playing with some toys in the shop and we didn't buy them for example

I live in this area and two kids in particular spring to mind! Wish I’d seen the other thread to see the names!

@crikeycrumbsblimey Tilly and Tommy?
Or whatever those ones from the TV show are?

I used to work in a shop that included a toy department. Please don't let you children play with things you aren't going to buy, the amount of things that couldn't be sold because they'd been damaged by selfish parents who treated the department as some kind of play area was shocking.

Sigh, this has descended into a class thing yet again.

So, working class and upper class children are better behaved than middle class children?

I used to work in a shop that included a toy department. Please don't let you children play with things you aren't going to buy, the amount of things that couldn't be sold because they'd been damaged by selfish parents who treated the department as some kind of play area was shocking.
Yes, which is why I admitted to it

It was a store that had toys to be played with and it was then hard to deal with all the other toys. He was being careful and I said not to put them on the floor but I admit this is probably crap parenting

Sometimes you can't get it 100% right 😞

When I went to the local supermarket yesterday it was absolutely rammed, and as I was leaving there was a man trying to persuade the door "greeter" to let his 8/9ish year old daughter bring in her purple bicycle - WTF!

Bad parenting in their part, but your comment will have come across as very pompous.
Just say “could you leave the lights where they are please so we can see the effect “ to the kids.

But the truth is that no aren’t in those conditions is going to turn round to you and say “ oh you are right, thank you for your kind advice” with a warm smile. What did you expect his response to be?

I was in Tescos the other day, boy about 10, pushing the trolley.
Mum was having "words" with him, and as she walked off, he started to push with what seemed like some force, the trolley into her legs.
I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a "Really!!" expression on my face, he saw me watching and stopped just in time, the scowl on his face because he'd been seen, was priceless.

I always feel a bit down reading these threads. Not because of anything that's been described on here, these kids and their parents sound awful and it's quite right to make a comment. Just makes me think of my own two with autism who have really struggled at school and in public places at times and the looks of horror and disgust we've received but they'd never do what's been described here. They're so very good like that, they'd have loved a light installation and looked on in wonder, on planes they'd have sat close and ds would have told me a million and one facts about flying. They would have received the Mum Stare and a "what on earth are you doing?!"if they'd been running through racks of clothing and would have stopped immediately. I really hate how we've been dismissed as a shit family over the years when they'd never do anything remotely as has been described here.

I was at the theatre a few days ago for a matinee ballet performance that was for ages 8+. It was expensive - at least £200 for family of four. Younger kids regularly go to these things but are pretty quiet. A tiny bit of noise is expected - it was a performance aimed at kids. Next to us were grandparents with two grand children. One DGC about 3-4. He wouldn't shut up. At one point, very quiet, theatre still, music delicate and he shouts No! He could be heard throughout the whole thing but this time I swear the dancer gave a tiny flinch at that moment. I hoped they'd get chucked out at the interval, but nope. Back for the second, then back for the third acts. Other people were shushing him and the grandparents seemed to think that he was delightful. Very cute! Very special! Isn't he lovely!

On the upside he gave my kids a good idea of why I'd made sure they knew to be quiet!

@CarolDanvers I actually wondered to start off with if it he had SN. And maybe he did (but if so he just came across like an indulged and bored 3-4 year old who could be quiet when other adults shushed him). But he shouldn't have been there anyway as he was too young.

There are some things where I wouldn't mind if someone with SN was there making noise. To be fair though, when it's a classical performance where the silence is a part of the performance, I don't think anybody who can't be quiet for the majority of it should be there, unless it's a special performance (of which there are some, but not enough). I know that may not be fair, but the performers have worked hard to put the performance on and they're highly skilled. I want to enjoy it which I can't do if it's randomly interrupted. Also if I've paid over £200 for tickets and others have too, it's unfair to have the performance ruined. This applies to everyone though. The group of women in front of me once, repeatedly passing a bag of sweets between them, unwrapping the sweets and also whispering about flavours during an orchestra performance was equally not ok!

Sorry Carol - I misread part of your post!!

Some people think that letting children explore IS parenting them.

And some people think saying "Please parent your children" is a polite and effective way to bring attention to apathetic parental behavior.

Others may think - "Oi, fuckwads stop your kids from smashing up other peoples property and ruining it for everyone else" a more effective response.

Most here are in agreement that the first option is more socially acceptable.

And why should the OP think of more polite and acceptable wording for someone else's poor behavior. FFS should she parent the parents too?

Dc May get it wrong when parents are distracted - fair enough- but it is the parents reaction to the havoc being pointed out to them which is the telling thing. Flipping the bird rather than horrified gratitude that it has been pointed out so they can fix it is the only acceptable response to the ops interjection.

Oh I muddled my sentence- sorry. Hope meaning is clear!