Entitled parenting at Waddesdon Manor this afternoon...

[bookwormsforever]

Previous post was deleted because I mentioned names...

We were sitting in Wigwam cafe outside watching a light installation. There was a semi circle of trees, each being lit up. Two screens behind a rope for kids to press and the lights changed colours.

Anyway, two kids went under the ropes and over to the lights. They SAT on a light, breaking the cover off. Then they turned two lights so they faced the opposite way. Parents? Standing watching them with indulgent smiles. Kids were about 5.

When the dad went over to call them back, I said to him, do you think you could parent your children? They're not meant to be behind the ropes, they're spoiling it for everyone, and they've damaged a light. He just looked at me and said 'right'. Then as he walked away he flipped me the bird (the kids said; I didn't see).

What a knob. And the mum too. No wonder kids are enttiled if this is the sort of shitty parenting they grow up with.

There was a little horror in Morrisons today, a boy of six or seven who got into one of those little coin operated cars aimed at toddlers and was being really wild on it, plus kept turning the plug on and off, presumably in the hope it would start to move. He was too big fir it and was being so wild trying to make it move I thought he was going to break it.
Occasionally he'd run full pelt to his dad in a queue for the till and then back to the little car.
Dad appeared oblivious while I glared and bit my tongue.
My adopted dds, incidentally, have had behavioural problems as a result of early trauma, but were never allowed to behave like that.
Some parents appear to be afraid to use the words no, or stop, or quieten down.

It’s the ones that have whole conversations whilst refusing to look below your neck because if they saw how their little cherubs were behaving then they might actually have to do something about it. But whilst they can pretend they didn’t see? Well it didn’t happen.

I don't really understand the trendiness of the word "entitled" on mumsnet. I don't hear it in real life, but I feel like it implies that the existence of bad parents raising badly behaved children is a modern phenomenon, when it's definitely not (I mean, who do you think raised those parents not to tell their kids off for breaking stuff?)

I think you’re right, cranky!

‘Oh Tarquin, darling, do stop that’
‘If you don’t stop, we’ll have to go home’
Half an hour later...
‘I’ll give you one more chance’
‘Come on Tarquin, well done, let’s go and have an ice cream’

I went to south lakes animal park last year. Some kids were dangling over a ditch and electrified fence trying to feed the baboons, despite the huge sign saying do not feed and danger electrified fence. When I pointed this out to the parents they said oh no it won’t be electrified it could hurt somebody! The keepers ended up removing them.

I’m not sure, kikita, but I definitely think dc behave more badly than they did 20 years ago. Even 10 years ago.

‘Entitled’ implies people think they are entitled to behave however they want without considering how their behaviour impacts on other people.

Don’t touch kids who have parents like that. Not a good plan.

On a happier note, I had a Chinese meal this evening (7-8:30) in a restaurant where there was a big group including about 10 young and very young children. The children behaved well, were not noticeably noisy, stayed in their seats apart from one lapse, ate their food without fuss and refrained from fighting. I was really impressed. Well done those parents and children.

Lol drspouse you are an absolute card!

I was at an exhibition the other day where young children were running up and down, unsupervised and attempting to climb on the furniture (part of the exhibits). Now, admittedly, they were far too young to read all of the Keep Off signs but they were also too young to be unsupervised (their parents were in another room off the corridor).

I felt for the security guard who obviously wasn't allowed to touch the children but was getting nowhere by asking them (politely) to stop climbing on the furniture.

Francis. How true. You should have let them carry on being spirited!
Or I favour. “Pack it in.” In a quiet growl!!!
When I am old I may take to day drinking and turn it into “Fucking pack it in!” For the most extreme behaviour!
May have to move to a desert island.

As a previous employee of the National Trust, I’m afraid I used to see this sort of ‘parenting’ too often. Usually took the form of allowing little Tarquin to bomb round the shop or cafe on his balance bike or scooter, sending old folk diving for cover. I used to give them a bit of time to notice their kids creating merry hell, then go and speak to the children myself if they didn’t do anything about it.

Maybe staff should have tasers?!

@FrancisCrawford I was indeed thinking of Miss Manners.

I dont know OP, I try hard to make sure DC behaves and everyone thinks he does but I also dont wang him to grow up like I did with super strict rules.

Just trying my best here. I definitely dont allow him to mess with displays or anything that is not ours and I can see how other children doing so sends that message
But sometimes I slip and what if people think I am crap because of a 5 minutes thing

There were kids on scooters in Waddesdon Manor too! I didn’t think the NT allowed them...

No, I wouldn’t have touched the dc!

Well, planespotting, if you don’t let him fiddle with things that are not his, then this wouldn’t have been you today, and all would be fine...

sometimes I slip and what if people think I am crap because of a 5 minutes thing
I know people always think we are crap because our DS is pretty much always somewhere on the line between "can't sit still" and "needs to be physically restrained".
I'm trying not to care.
But sometimes our parenting doesn't look like parenting.
And sometimes it does but it does absolutely nothing.

Next time try "sort your fucking kids out mate, they're breaking the lights"

There's a wildlife place near me that's quite expensive to visit and is very much a favourite with middle class parents. They've recently had to plea publicly via their social media sites for parents to keep a closer eye (ie actually parent) on their children as exhibits are increasingly being destroyed, several new pairs of binoculars have been broken etc. It's shocking that people are bringing their children to these places and letting them do whatever they want. What type of adults will they turn into if as children they're allowed to deliberately break whatever they want, wherever they want, without consequence?

@donkeyshrekmom Totally with you about the lights by the Cathedral! We are local and have been to see the lights a couple of times on our way through town. My two children love it but on each occasion I have had to explain why they mustn’t try and reach for the lights despite the numerous other children doing just that whilst parents smugly look on. I can see why little kids would want to — it’s a really tempting thing! But it’s our job as parents to explain why they shouldn’t. Not easy when there are so many happy to go ahead and spoil it for the rest of us.