If you wrote the Christmas cards, did you put your DH/DP's name first?

[HelenUrth]

Looking through the cards we received this year, I know most of them were written by the wife/female partner, yet in most cases they've put the husband/partner's name first.

I've always written the majority of cards in our house, and put my name first having agreed with DH that he puts his name first if he writes the card.

What do you do, and why?

I'm looking at two cards we got where the female (who is my friend although husbands know each other) wrote the card, put my name first and my DH second in the greeting, then signed the card from husband first then wife. I don't understand why women would do this but don't want to upset/insult my friends by asking!

Fiend, that's interesting - how would your grandparents have known who wrote the card? I wonder was it that if it was a female first that they thought it was rude?!

We don't do cards these days, but when we did DH's name went first in cards to his friends and family and my name went first in cards to my friends and family, whoever was writing them (which would generally depend on who had more spare time).

Always mine first

I always sign my name last from me and a friend or me and a family member. Think love Hannah and Rosemary or Becca and Rosemary because of the way it flows. It would depend on how it flows how I’d sign a card from me and a partner. The guy I’m interested in his nickname is has a harsh ending so would flow either way same with his full name which has a softer ending.

But then again I’m picky about the way things flow if it sounds ‘wrong’ then I can’t deal with it. So flow or alphabetical or age order for children, oldest to youngest.

Even if it's your dh/dps friend why are you the one writing the card in the first place surely the person writing the card writes their name first? Mutual friend and you're writing the card? Yes your name first

We have a long way to go it seems

Weird that it's an issue. Female writes cards from Elaine Fred and the kids. Bloke probably writes from Fred Elaine and the kids. The writer will probably write their name first. Yeah ok the useless Simon has to get his wife to write the card, but they know she did it. Quite fascinating this.

My name first if for my family, DH first if for his family. DC in age order oldest to youngest.

My husband, then me, then my son. Names for better that way. If it's to my parents from say my sister and me, then me first because I'm the eldest and used to write from just me until she came along.

liquorice Why do you write your husband's name first?

Single now but when married, whoever writes the card puts their name first. Thats the same with every card I get too, since BIL's job changed and he gets school Xmas hols off, all their cards are signed "BIL and Sister", isnt that how everyone does it?

I always put DH's name first, followed by mine then DD. Have never really thought much about it, tradition I suppose.

What tradition poppyseed2 ?

If I'm writing a card it wouldn't even enter my mind to write my dh name first. I'd automatically write my name first, because I'm writing the card

I think of all of my friends as “Girlname and Boyname”, so that’s what I write. I’d put Mr & Mrs Smith on the card. I write my name first on the cards and give them to DH to sign his, so my name is always first (we do them together but I have all the addresses in my phone so I go first).

Fascinating that other people do it differently!

Have never really thought much about it, tradition I suppose.

"Tradition I suppose" is why we are still struggling for equality. Why we spent hundreds of years being subjugated, why women have only just entered the Anglican clergy, why men get treated with great suspicion at baby groups......

Not having a go at you Poppy, just musing.

My name goes first as I'm writing the card, with the exception of a tiny number of cards going to DH's elderly relatives whose cards I usually sign with DH's name first - this is because I am not 100% convinced they are 100% sure of all our names, so I lead with the one they are most likely to recognise.

If I'm writing the cards, which I pretty much always do, I put my name 1st.

@OkPedro Tradition in that it is what DM did on our family cards when I was growing up, so when I started to write cards as an adult I just followed the same pattern. Have honestly never given it a thought until I saw this thread and realized I was in the minority!

No fucking way! I always put my name first!

I have recently sent out invites to a funeral related function. Many to male/female couples. It struck me that it was interesting how we all say eg Ann and Bob for some but for others it’s always Bob and Ann. I’ve turned names round for some purposely - when realised I’d done that I thought it was somehow more respectful (not quite the right word ) and seeing all as individual.
When writing cards as a couple whoever wrote card signs first.
Recently had to write card for my mas funeral flowers from me and my older sibling. Although I wrote the card we signed in order of age - I actually handed sibling pen and said ‘I thinkbyou should sign first’. Odd to think of that.

Like others it depends on the relationships we have with the recipient. Dh’s elderly aunts may well be thinking who the heck is Lizzie? So I put dhs name first. On all their cards it’s me first.

Usually my name first if I’m writing the card. DH puts his name first if he writes it.

We usually refer to ourselves with my name first though because it sounds better that way round. I sometimes wonder if that makes a difference.

Same as fiend here, my DM taught me that the writer puts their name second, so if I write them it's me, DH then DC. I just assumed she was right and hadn't thought about it before.

Interesting thread. I think I’ve been unconsciously following the “and I” convention of putting myself as a speaker second.
For the last two years I’ve been trying to get dh to write his own share of cards, but then one drops on the mat from his lovely aunts and I feel I can’t ignore it. And then there is definitely an element of pretense on my part that he even bothered!
I find envelope addressing very difficult as I was drilled as a child in correct forms by my gran, who was Mrs. Grandad’s Surname to everyone except her closest school friends!
Thanks for the head wobble OP!

Mine first for my side of the family/friends and his first for his side