How did having a baby change you, as a person?

[Noonlight]

Not how did the baby change your life, but did they and if so how did they change you as a person?

Made me much more confident in my abilities! Learn to stand up for myself and not let others tread all over me.
Widened my range of friends that's for sure!

Improved my self belief and made me less selfish. I no longer come first - they do in everything.
It may also be an age thing but I give less of a shit what other people think of me. I know I give my kids my all and do my best by them.
I also more tolerant of others. Raising kids is bloody hard work and I feel lucky I had a good upbringing myself. It must be incredibly hard for those that didn’t for whatever reason. I have a fuck tonne of respect for single parents.

It gave me my sense of adventure back.
It was stifled for a few years as dh is more of a homebody and I just didn’t do as much as I could because he didn’t want to.
After I had children, I realised that I didn’t need him to accompany me plus I had time while he was at work.
I’m so happy just going off exploring with my dcs. They love it too and often talk about climbing mountains, playing on beaches, trekking through forests and visiting new cities.

Made me much less selfish.
I'm not actually sure this is a good thing as I'm not very good at putting myself first now.
I'm making much more of an effort to do this in the new year though.

Made me less selfish. Made me realise a love I never knew I was capable of. Made me more fun (and tired). Gave me a deeper sense of purpose and made me less materialistic and worried about my looks.

It didn’t really. I’m still me. Maybe grumpier from tiredness!

Definitely don't give as many shits as I used to! Don't care as much about what people think of me. Much more confident in dealing with people after having to fight my DC corner for them. I also think it's helped me to 'find myself' more as ridiculous as it sounds. I do a lot of outdoorsy things with the kids and it's only really been since having kids I've realised how much I enjoy doing those things above all else.

It made me less selfish I think, and more determined to finish things I start.

It made me very tired. I cry more easily. I do not sweat the small stuff anymore.

To be honest, having a child affected my mental health negatively. I loved DD passionately, but struggled with anxiety and PND quite badly through her babyhood. To a large extent, this has disappeared as she's grown up, but I still resent the lack of me-time and how much I worry about her. She's worth it, but the cost in emotional terms has been high.

Made me realise that I cant control everything. Hard work, planning, research, determination - all the things that are supposed to give you the results you want made no difference at all. Twins, prematurity ..... nothing I could do about that. Was quite a life lesson.

Now, more emotional, made me appreciate my parents more and confident in my marriage (that he was the right choice). Less materialistic and wanting "experiences" rather than things.

It's made me more selfish! I feel resentful if I don't get some time to myself or if I have just sat down with a cuppa and DS asks for something like a slice of toast so I have to get up again...

I am still exhausted after 7 years, DS is constantly in the 'on' position.

I don't like the mother I am and don"t think I'm very good at it.

Boof, that was depressing! 🤪

Less of a perfectionist , I’m forever saying “that’ll have to do!”

Think of myself and my needs a lot less, rarely in fact

My tendency towards OCD has increased a bit (checking the baby monitor 20 times , checking the doors are locked, checking the oven is switched off 3 times etc)

It’s made me happier in many ways -little things don’t upset me now. I don’t have time to wallow or ever feel sorry for myself .

It’s made me a bit more scared in some ways - if anything happened to my babies I’d never get over it

Another "more selfish" here - I crave time to myself a lot. A lot. I love DD and enjoy our time together but it takes every last drop of outward-facing energy. Makes me wonder about the timing/feasibility of having another.

Other stuff? My organisational abilities are put to good use, and I think I have a good DH when I'm not asking him to fuck off so I can have some quiet time.

Made me much less lazy, I simply don't have the time to lounge about on the sofa anymore.

I'm also MUCH more emotional, I will cry for absolutely no reason. I am 5 month PP so maybe there's still some hormones hanging around, not sure.

Unfortunately, I'm more anxious too.

It's hard to describe how she's changed me but I feel a completely different person to the one I was before her.

I don’t think I changed. I was already 36 when my first was born - obviously my life is different now but I don’t really think I am.

Made me more open emotionally. Was always a closed book but I tell DD I love her every day, and I'm more affectionate with my own parents and sister (hugs, kiss on the cheek etc)

I didn't know it was possible to love someone that much!

Wasn't great for the first 7 years, but finally learned how to be a reasonable enough mum.
More patient.
Less judgemental.
Better listener.
More caring.

I am more affectionate as well, closer to my parents. I am far far less career orientated, more laid back about small stuff but more grumpy and tired overall!

I became much more of a feminist after number 1. The immediate assumptions that people made when I became pregnant wound me up and opened my eyes to so much internalised misogyny. Number two made me much more conscious of our impact in the world, which may be due to timing in terms of how much more aware we are of plastic pollution and climate change.

I am a lot more anxious and tearful. I thought being a parent would be easier and think my DH is a better parent.
Love them would kill for them but it's a rough job.

I’m more emotional. More confident too though- will challenge people if needed. I have much more fun than I ever did before!

Equally though, awful pregnancy and complications for both DS and I have left a mark on my mental health. I am very upset when DS is out with DH alone, for example. This has nothing to do with DH, and more to do with DS being out, in the world, without me with him.

Taught me the value of time and the shortness of life.

I went from happy go lucky to an anxious mess who worried & paniced about everything. I became lonely & cut myself off from most people. I have got better but it’s taken a long time

Made me properly contemplate my own mortality. I can't imagine not being around for my DCs.