Why don't I like people?

[Yellowsubmarine79]

So full disclosure, I'm drunk. But this is genuinely how I feel and need options from outsiders because I'm in a very bad place mentally right now.

I am mid 30s, suffered with depression and anxiety for at least the last 10, and I've realised today that I don't like people, or being around them, or listening to them drone on about shit that, in my (wrong) opinion, is not important (what happened at work/with people I don't know etc) I love my friends and family very much, but will push them away at every opportunity and it tends to be everyone else that arranges to see me because my confidence is so low I think nobody wants to spend time with me, despite them telling me differently.
I go through phases where I really make an effort but then I hit a low and don't want to see or talk to anyone.
I am surrounded by people who love to talk about anything and everything and I get jealous/think that there is something wrong with me because I'm not the same.
I also have a bad relationship with alcohol (as does my whole family).
I feel hopeless and don't know how to get out of this rut.
My question is, has anyone else got any at from feeling like this and what helped the most?
I've had counselling and am on medication which both help, but not enough and I can't continue this way 😩

Sorry and thanks in advance.

You need to knock the drink on the head. It’s a depressant and unlikely to mix well with your antidepressants.
I find people in general quite hard work. I tend to mix with people with similar interests. Eg I volunteer with an animal rescue.

I completely agree and know the drink is an issue, I stopped for 3 months earlier in the year but then my dad passed away in July and I've not been strong enough to stop since 😔 I know I need to do it again soon though when the time is right.

I’m so sorry for your loss. No wonder you are feeling low. Have you tried CBT or mindfulness? I find exercise and being outdoors really positive.

I'm the same as you. It used to bother me that I used to get so bothered by everyone else...now I think MEH. So bloody what. Part of it is because I'm introverted also so I charge my batteries by being alone. Some people charge their batteries by being with others. I don't drink tho as I have health anicety and drinks unhealthy!

I agree. You need to look at your drinking.

It sounds like you have some introverted tendencies. People suck the energy out of you.

There's nothing wrong with being introverted. You just need to make sure you factor in plenty of time for yourself. Don't feel guilty about saying no to invitations and don't feel guilty about leaving early or taking yourself off to a quiet corner in social situations. Once you understand introversion you can start to take care of yourself.

Isn't it called self sabotage?

Sorry you are grieving.

Mixing meds with alcohol won't get you better as you know.

What makes you happy? What do you enjoy?

An awful lots of people are self centered attention seeking clones...this has only become apparent to me since social media. I like people less and less the more they share and share
That makes me not like people

Have you always found socialising more effort of an than a pleasure?

You can stand with a group of people listening to their conversations. 80 percent of the people will be talking about themselves TEARING THEMSELVES UP INSIDE waiting for the other person to finish their turn in the conversation so it's their turn to speak. Then when it is their turn to speak they acknowledged nothing of what they other person has just had to say and go into another large speech about themselves. This is why I cba withe people

I find most people irritating too OP. You're lucky to have people making time to see you - I don't have that. It's generally ok but I just wonder where my people are.

Well, if you hadn’t mentioned the fact you were drinking I wouldn’t have had a clue reading that post ! That’s beside the point though .
OP, maybe you are just an introverted person who feel’s exhausted trying to make small talk with people.
I like to see people and talk to them but I tire of them really easily & generally do as little as I possibly can when it comes to socialising. Of course the downside to that is that I’m never the person to initiate meeting up which probably pisses people off. That being said, I’ve come to accept that this is who I am and as the years go by I suppose I care less what people think.
It sounds like you need more help coping with the loss of your dad and probably with your drinking tbh. Grieving the loss of a parent is huge. Just take a breather from it all. Knock the drink on the head and go on from there. Good luck 👍

Thank you all so much for the replies, didn't expect many 🙈 really appreciate it. In answer to questions....

Yes, have tried CBT and mindfulness, they work short term. I absolutely love exercise, but I'm a military wife so have effectively been a single, full time working mum for the past 4 months and find it hard to find time long term.

booksare & others - thats a very good point, just realised I've always tried to ignore the fact I'm an introvert because I thought it's a bad thing. Maybe I need to just accept it and find a way to deal with it.

satans Yes!!! I totally feel that way but couldn't describe it properly.

I lost my mum 10 years ago too and things aren't great withy husband so it's all adding up 😢
Thank you all for being so nice xx

After many years of therapy not working I finally realised, with the help of a fantastic counsellor, that all the thing I thought were negative parts off my personality could be switched around, introvert? You don't require validation from others, drink alcohol? Are you functioning and being a person you like? It's not a crime. Are you being vile to yourself? Would you say the same things to a friend?

Love to you, it's ok to enjoy the company you choose, be it the dog or a huge group of friends, there are no rules xx

I could have written your post

When I feel like this in the extreme I think it's time to go back on ADs

Go easy on yourself OP.

Christmas/new year brings up allsorts of negative thinking especially if life is pretty shitty.

Make 2019 a year for you and achieving/doing things that make YOU happy!

Depression can make you too exhausted to be bothered with people.
You could be a narcissist magnet and the people around you aren't interesting because they're only interested in themselves.
Or just the people around you don't interest you.
You're grieving so all their conversation seems completely idiotic.
You could be autistic and hate small talk.
You could have a personality disorder, so aren't interested in other people.

I do think you need to stop drinking. You are self medicating. But it's dangerous to do it yourself. It will kill you if you don't do something about it. Go to the doctor. Be honest. There is help out there. You are stronger than you think.
Antidepressants are not to be feared. They saved my life. Be kind to yourself. Also you don't have to like everyone.

I could have written your post YellowSubmarine... life is so difficult at times isn’t it.
i honestly get so irritated by people and genuinely feel I don’t like anyone, I’ve ruined this Christmas by falling out with my adult son, daughter and husband and I just want to up and run away.. all I have done for the past 3 days is stay in bed.
You’re not alone, sending you a big hug and hand hold. X

I feel exactly the same as you - I’m also sat here getting through a bottle of gin !

This year has been god fucking awful, and I feel like not one of my friends has asked me how I’m doing. So I’m being quiet on WhatsApp, which is pathetic as fuck really.

I want someone to see I need help without spelling it out. I want someone to notice that I’m fucking struggling.

Sending love you xx

Wowser and Broom - sorry to hear you are struggling too

I feel a bit like this , not sure if it is depression. I went to a party last week ,there were a lot of people I didn't know there but I had no interest in talking to them. Ended up sat with my group of oldest and closest friends that I have known since I was 15 but just ended up desperate to get away from them too. I had looked forward to this party but once there just wanted to go home and felt bored with people even my closest friends and then felt bad for being bored of them ! I think Christmas can be a difficult time for a lot of people

Oh my goodness, giving hugs to those who feel the same.

I expected to be told to stop being a miserable bitch.

I am sat here in tears because yesterday I was googling samaritans because I feel I didn't want to live and now I feel sad that so many people are going through such a shite time xx.

*Babyroobs× I know the feeling xxx

Thank you 🤗x