Why are so many children suffering from anxiety?

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I'm watching an episode of 'School' where the Head is saying the number of children with anxiety is increasing every year, seems to be backed up by research too.

I don't have children yet but I'm aware of how debilitating anxiety can be and so guess I am wondering out loud why so many more children have anxiety these days?

What part of this is in the control of parents? What can we do to try to build more resilience in children?

Do any of those with DC who have anxiety have thoughts about what has caused it?

@mummyshark

Yes, the confusion of living in a NT world is not good for mental health.
Thankfully he has a brilliant camhs worker who is slowly helping him to cope with life better.

I don't think anyone is blaming parents for being arseholes.

Just, when there is an exponential increase in mental health issues in children, that parents might be a factor in the bigger picture?

You might well be the anecdotal exception. Research suggests that supporting academic achievement, especially for those who externalise emotional problems but others with early exhibition of mental health problems can have a transformational impact on adult life success. That doesn’t mean bright children can’t become adults with mental health problems but significant and enduring mental ill health is associated more closely with poverty, low socioeconomic culture and poor academic achievement.
@CherryPavlova I can guarantee that if you started a thread asking how many people here were high achievers, academically, music, sports and suffered from anxiety, eating disorders, compulsive disorders, etc, you will realise that I am not, indeed, anecdotal exception.

The link between academic success and eating disorders for example is as real as bread and butter

First paragraph should be bold

I really believe that schools (well, the government, Ofsted etc) have a lot to answer for. The pressure put on teachers and schools to get results filters down to the poor kids. The atmosphere in schools now is totally different to when I was a child (70s and 80s). They feel like giant, joyless prisons.

I don’t see that.

Children have always sat exams and those exams have always been important.

Asking on MN isn’t exactly gold standard research, is it? It is anecdotal.
Current research shows eating disorders are fairly evenly spread across all socioeconomic groups.

More children are being diagnosed with disorders such as ASD, ADHD etc. Anxiety is common.

@CherryPavlova you are talking about socio-economic groups or academic success here?

Because I am pretty sure that lack of academic success is not the major contributing factor to anxiety. Please share those papers here.

Hey bibbity

Actually I do think there was a huge undercurrent of blaming the parents but maybe only a few of us are seeing that.

Anxiety is an awful condition and it’s not about feeling stressed. Our kids are under huge pressure to perform, to conform, to fit in, to be clever, talented, attractive, special

I suspect parents are fearful of their child being socially excluded and that may be a driver but honestly, no, I don’t think most parents are doing anything other than manage issues they rarely realise exist until they are suddenly dealing with a pre-teen.

As a HCP, over the past 10-15 years, I am more surprised when I say to any female between 15- 25 'OK, for this test (which you've had a leaflet about) we need to pop a small needle into a vein'- when they say 'Oh, OK, then'- as opposed to the far more common response of hyperventilation, shaking, tears, 'I have anxiety +/- panic attacks'.

I don't know how this phenomenon has evolved but we all have noticed it. It's almost a given now, to the extent we allocate 5 more minutes per test when we see the age and gender of the patient.

I also agree that the biggest factor is Education. The system has been utterly destroyed over the past 8 years. The curriculum is too difficult and jam packed and the time is not spent anymore on music, Art, PSHE and all the other areas which develop resilience and life skills and value skills beyond the academic. The constant, target setting, data driven, pressure cooker culture is responsible for destroying not only the lives of many teachers but also is having a huge detrimental effect on our children. It's utterly heartbreaking.

And hey Paggy! Nice to see a familiar face, even if on a sad thread.

Jesus Fucking Christ

The blame the parents stuff is a big thing on here tonight.

Too right.

Its all parent blaming and class war....must be a post Christmas thing.

Yep. Merry Christmas Hazeyjane

Nice to see you too Bibb xx

My kids are up the walls with pressure have been since aged 6, if you don’t do x y z you won’t get a job .... have repeatedly pointed out mummy doesn’t have a job and I’m fine but ex seems intent on causing them to have some sort of break down by pushing them down the path of “working for the man”.
We’ve been out of the uk for 7 years and the difference I’ve noticed is tangible in schools and employment

School pressure is relentless from an early age.

Every single piece of writing critiqued and covered in green and pink (for example). Never good enough. Always 'improve this, up level this, make progress EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF EVERY SINGLE DAY'.

Somebody mentioned that exams happen earlier (eg., SATs). Actually it's earlier than that at age 5-6 for the Year 1 phonics test. The kids are well aware what is going on.

There is a genetic element to anxiety. And that child's anxiety can be triggered by school pressure, social media, etc. When I see this happening to one of my loved ones, it is terrible, far reaching and genuine. There are many things that kids need encouragement with to preserve their mental health eg., get off whatsapp after school, get out in the fresh air, do things other than screens, take a break from too much homework.

But there are definitely some kids who jump on to this - turning "This is quite a hard few weeks - I am full of hormones, a few things have temporarily gone wrong and now I feel stressed!" into "I suffer from anxiety". I am sometimes anxious myself, but this doesn't mean I have a permanent anxiety problem.

Parenting (as we now call it) is a horrible treadmill of developmental and academic targets with a generous helping of guilt (mostly maternal). It's not about appreciating your child's unique personality and your relationship any more. It's all has my child met the EYFS foundation stage for understanding language/learning phonics/making the right kind of eye contact/am I using the right tone of voice/responding correctly to their body language? This kind of cultural micromanagement is bound to affect children. They know their parents are being judged by how they appear, and they feel responsible for it. They should never be made to feel like this.

Ideally the parent-child relationship should be founded in trust and acceptance. How can you do that when you are being battered with messages that tell you how to turn yourself into a better parent and your child into a better child? How can you enjoy your relationship with your child when there's always some so-called expert ready to tell you what's wrong with it?

I work in primary,mostly with under 8's.
I deal with anxious kids for various reasons. The fact that some people thinks "kids have nothing to worry about " makes me so so angry. Just like when they say they need to be more resilient. Some of these kids are the strongest people I know, the fact that they're at school,managing to laugh,make friends and learn given what they deal with is a sign of strength. Crawling rocking under a table is a sign that at that moment they have way too much on their little shoulders.
For some the anxiety is co morbid with their SEN(autism,ADHD and dyslexia in particular).
For some is the fact that they are young carers, suffered bereavement,have a chaotic home life, live in poverty and insecurity.
Some lack enough parental attention (no blame on the parents,they work fucking hard in shit jobs).
Some are anxious due to abuse, loss, being adopted or in foster care, parent in prison, horrific custody battles.
A lot of them don't feel good enough, can't take a compliment, struggle to name good things about them. They and sometimes those around them focus so much on what they can't do,what they are lacking they can't see how awesome they really are.
And on top of all that is the curriculum and the one size fits all demands and requirements and progress and presentation and work being up to standard. Kids with beautiful handwriting that can't be age expected because they don't join. Kids with amazing writing skills that aren't age expected because their spelling is atrocious (EAL) . Kids coming in mid term not knowing a word of English.
We've had cases of emotional,physical and sexual abuse,neglect, self harm, kids made homeless or having no food. We sadly have other kids being violent which can be scary for their peers.

We deal with it all the best we can , but most days we either fail the child's needs in some way or we fail at our job(no work, or substandard). It's what I struggle with the most in the job.

But sure... what do kids really have to worry about?

I think there's definitely a genetic component.

Looking back, both my mother and grandmother suffered very much from anxiety, maybe ASD (my sister's child has ASD). BUT they both married young to very kind, gentle men they had known all their lives (fortunate to be pretty so had a good choice), never worked out of the home, ran immaculate households, lived in the same tiny village associating all their lives with people they they had known all their lives. Everything was safe and routine, so they functioned okay.

In contest, my daughter's lives are full if change and uncertainty. Despite great childhoods and security, with me as a SAHM, good nutrition, limited screen time, lots of exercise, DD2 has anxiety and self harmed at 14 and it has taken a lot of work to help her successfully get it under control and be reasonably okay at uni. DD1 was fine until uni but then indulged too much in strong weed, which definitely triggered her. If she keeps away from it she's fine.

Could one part of the reason be that parents are working too much? The financial side of things is such a pressure now and so parents need to work long hours - I know that there are many parents working very long hours. Children often are only cared for a couple of hours everyday.

DH and I both work from home. We both have good jobs but are lucky enough to be at home a lot of the time (we use a few hours of after school care - a grand total of 4- 5 hours childminder responsibilities) and make around 95% of school activities.

We play and nurture our DS as best we can. I don't believe we are lacking in parental time and responsibility, yet here we are.

I'd say social media, beauty standards and generation rent . As a young adult I experienced my first anxiety attack last year over financial issues and a few years ago I was incredibly depressed over body issues . I see my 'friends' buying homes and enjoying holidays and showing off stuff I don't have and it upsets me so I rarely go on social media and I'm happier. Also the knowing I can't get a mortgage but pay £1500 In rent knowing full well if I had a deposit I could get a mortgage cheaper than my rent makes me feel sick......

As a teenager growing up in the mid 2000's
The main thing that upset me was women with a massive chest ( jordan was popular ) or beautiful women .
But I only ever saw people like that in films as i liked reading girls magazines and kids shows as I was still a child at heart lol.

I also only ever had bebo,msn and MySpace........so god help me if I grew up today with all the fake celebs and so called perfect people .