Why are so many children suffering from anxiety?

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I'm watching an episode of 'School' where the Head is saying the number of children with anxiety is increasing every year, seems to be backed up by research too.

I don't have children yet but I'm aware of how debilitating anxiety can be and so guess I am wondering out loud why so many more children have anxiety these days?

What part of this is in the control of parents? What can we do to try to build more resilience in children?

Do any of those with DC who have anxiety have thoughts about what has caused it?

Around 30% of anxiety is accounted for by genetics.

Some kids learn anxiety from their parents/carers, same as they learn everything else.

Some kids suffer unpleasant life experiences, which make them fearful of a repeat.

Some kids get told misinformation, which they worry about.

This is the big one: some kids have parents so keen to protect them from unhappiness, that the kid never gets a chance to learn that they can cope on their own. If a kid never sleeps with the light off, it's no wonder they become scared of the dark.

From talking to fellow parents, the following issues come up regularly re anxiety:

1)The relentless assessment and pressure to achieve in school. When I was a kid my first exams were GCSE’s. Now it’s SATS at age 11. And the teachers didn’t put any pressure on us to achieve a certain grade. If we wanted to work- great, if we couldn’t be arsed...well, it was our loss. It was up to us. It seems all kids are being pushed by teachers to get the best results that they possibly can, regardless of the emotional impact, because teachers and schools are being judged by their results too. If kids aren’t achieving their “expected” grades, they have to go to extra coaching, their parents get called in etc. This is a massive issue, and I’m surprised it hasn’t been discussed already.

2) social media/cyber bullying.
3) uncertainty/fear about the future/lack of control over their lives. When I was 16 you could leave school, get a job, sorted. Now, you need to be in education til you’re 18, regardless of whether that suits you. University is a massively expensive gamble and the pressure of having a £50,000+ debt cannot be overstated. If you fail a year/have to repeat that’s another £9,000 plus. And if you drop out you’ve wasted tens of thousands of pounds. For kids now- what do they have to look forward to? Living with their parents for god knows how long, or renting a room in a shared house for a large portion of their life. They know that it is unlikely they will ever have a long term secure home, regardless of how hard they work. And with Brexit, things are even more uncertain.

I’d hate to be a teenager right now.

Children have nothing to worry about

Um, well. Yeah, that's completely right. Except for the ones who are beaten, neglected, emotionally or sexually abused by their carers. Or the ones who are stuck in the middle between two parents who hate each other. Or the ones who have suffered bereavements. Or whose parents are in prison. Or the ones who don't get on with their step parents but who have no choice but to share a home with them. Or the ones who have to care for younger siblings, or ill or disabled parents. Or the ones who are bullied in school, or at home now, thanks to technology. Or the ones who have chronic illnesses or disabilities. Or the ones whose parents are unemployed and struggling to pay the bills. Or the ones who have special needs and find every day in school a confusing whirlwind that makes them feel shit about themselves. Or the ones who are really bright and hard working but cannot fathom how they could finance university. Or the ones who have no realistic job prospects in their home town....

I could go on ad infinitum. Unfortunately, kids are not somehow magically protected from the shitty side of life, but they are often relatively isolated, powerless, and they don't have the same sense of proportion about things a 40 year old might have.

I think it’s just understood more. There’s actually a name for it! My friends and I were always nervous about exams, class speeches, homework, bullying but we’d never heard of the word ‘anxiety’. If I was in school now I’m sure all of us would have had a diagnosis.

Interestingly, there was a national kids mental health prevalence survey out a few weeks back and although figures were up a bit there wasn’t a significant changes since the last one (in 2004).

What I found interesting in it was the sex difference. In preschool and primary boys have a great rate of mental ill health than girls, secondary it leveled out but over 16s boys mental health issues dropped hugely and girls increased hugely.

In a way it isn’t surprising. If 25% of adults have mental ill health in a year is it a surprise that 20% of older teens do? Wouldn’t it be more surprising if you hit 19 and the rates suddenly shot up? And if we’re aiming for mental ill health to be treated ill physical ill health is 20% so surprising? I wouldn’t expect to never see the doctor in a year about my physical health, so why expect to have perfect mental health?

I read somewhere about there being a 'culture' amongst teenagers at the moment of being anxious/ depressed, it literally being contagious as they race to the bottom to have it the 'worst' or need the most complex treatment. I don't think this explains it all- but I think there is probably an element of truth to it.

Perhaps having a mental health diagnosis takes the pressure off for some teenagers- you are no longer expected to revise, sit tests, go out, look gorgeous etc- and can actually feel like a child again. I remember being really ill with glandular fever and having several months off school in the 6th form. It was awful feeling so unwell, but part of me was relieved because for a while I didn't have to think about A-levels, competing at my sport, pending university etc and my parents looked after me like I was a baby again. Some teens may be seeking that.

I don’t think they are. I think ‘children are anxious about things’ is incorrectly interpreted to mean ‘children have anxiety.’

It's not just children is it? Anxiety seems to be everywhere. There seems to be a reluctance to accept that feeling anxious is completely normal, that life isn't perfect, that people fail and fuck up and just don't feel like doing stuff - all the time. I'm not sure how helpful it is to label and diagnose everything. Even quite long spells of mild depression are to be expected in life. I agree with pp that as parents we now want to protect our children from all sorts of difficult situations when actually that isn't helpful in the long run. And of course, social media.

Good post, @SexNotJenga I dislike the idea that children have "nothing to worry about". My childhood was much harder than any other time in my life and I'm now in my 30s and have had plenty of issues throughout my life!

I think more than just social media, it's the affect the internet in general has had on us all, not only children. In the past we only had to compare ourselves with the people we saw in our community. Nowadays we compare ourselves with everyone we see on social media nationally and globally and, of course, we come off badly.

We used to only have to worry about problems in our town or country whereas now, with the internet, we are inundated with scaremongering about climate change and terrorism, plus seeing videos and first hand testimonials of the effects of starvation, tsunamis, etc.

It's all too much. We feel like failures compared to Instagrammers or even just our friends' smug FB posts, we take on the world's problems and feel overwhelmed.

I also agree with PPs that these problems existed before but children were told to pull themselves together. That was my experience and lead me to suicide attempts in my early teens which were brushed under the carpet and not followed up by hospital healthcare professionals or my DPs which I doubt would happen these days.

It seems that every second adult on MN suffers from anxiety too, so it’s hardly surprising that the next generation will - either through learned behaviour or by their parents instilling fear/anxiety into them about perfectly normal transactions.

Or actually, some of us with anxiety are working hard so our children are confident and empowered and more secure. What a load of

I suffer from anxiety. I have suffered from it from the age of 6, probably earlier. I didn't know it because back then it was a matter of "pull yourself together" I got no support whatsoever. That lead to eating disorders and so on, the list goes on. I always thought I was crazy and should just die.

Until I was told that actually, what happens to me happens to many and that it is not my fault, and they gave it a name, anxiety.

I am not blaming my parents for it, I think it is a combination of factors.

I also think there are more cases now because of the way society has changed and that we are more aware of it, so maybe numbers haven't doubled, but increased a bit and so has our awareness of it.

To those that are suggesting it is because children are too protected or not given challenges, I suggest you read some evidence based studies. This is not the case.

I was given plenty of experiences. I was also raised to do my own thing and I was academically successful. I had to be tough though, and never really experience close contact with my parents, hugs or things like that.

Anxiety can't be decipher by Google, even professionals are trying to get their heads around how it all works.

Oh! And we are now more open to talk about it. Back in my day, being on medication or going to therapy was the deepest, dark family secret nobody could know about

Dh 57 suffered from anxiety as a child, but i doubt it was classified as such at the time. He was badly bullied and undiagnosed dyslexic.

Are more children suffering from anxiety or are people just listening now and in the olden days you were told to shut up and get on with it unless your leg is falling off? Stupid posts about people not belong resilient enough is a great example of why there is stigma around mental health.

This!

There's a number of things, and by blaming social media entirely, we're just sticking our heads in the sand because there's so many other things and from what I've heard, a lot of teenagers use social media as somewhat of a refuge, somewhere to voice their thoughts and hear from people in the same boat.

A PP has mentioned exams, and I agree, there's far too many of them, and far too much expectation piled on children and teenagers, whose brains are still developing. Their lives are being dictated by schoolwork, homework and the general thought of exams hanging over them. Considering that most of the stuff taught at GCSE level and below is completely irrelevant to real life, its no wonder that this, IMHO, is the biggest factor.

And another thing is being undermined by people like the poster who said that children have nothing to worry about. It's very easy to say that, but they have no previous experiences to compare their current troubles to. It's easy for adults to say "I can cope with this because I coped with x, y years ago." but children don't have that experience. And this is where I agree most with the PP that I quoted, now that anxiety has more publicity (and a name) people are starting to become aware of it and recognise the traits in their children so that they can, if possible, get help for it.
Anyway, that's my opinion. It's a bit long, sorry!

I know someone who works in a hospital and has noticed lots of teenagers on antidepressants etc. He said that he doesn’t understand why. Children have nothing to worry about. They have a roof over their heads. They don’t really know what stress is! Wait till you’re an adult and you’re struggling to put food on the table and you can’t provide for your kids

If only anxiety and depression was cured by having a roof over your head

@permanentlyasleep I agree

Expectations are too high. As are expectations of life and being happy.
Anxiety is totally normal. It is the normal reaction to life. Life of challenging.
However if you spend your time on social media you would think everyone is happy without effort.
Living a ‘sucessful’ life takes a lot of work. It is this discrepancy that causes much of the anxiety these days.
I also think a sendentary lifestyle and unhealthy eating makes anxiety much worse.

I know someone who works in a hospital and has noticed lots of teenagers on antidepressants etc. He said that he doesn’t understand why. Children have nothing to worry about. They have a roof over their heads. They don’t really know what stress is! Wait till you’re an adult and you’re struggling to put food on the table and you can’t provide for your kids

This is the perfect example of someone that doesn't understand how anxiety works.

I am a parent now and I can assure you my stress as a child was very real. If people had more awareness of how it all works it would be so much easier for everyone

It's because our diets are so crap (we are what we eat) and lack of outdoor play.

Children have nothing to worry about.

I had more anxiety as a child than any other time. My anxiety was that my mum or dad would kill themselves (they had both attempted it) or that my dad would kill my mum (I had heard him say he wanted het to die and seen him hurt her).

However I would also say that suffering anxiety is different from suffering from a reaction to the shit we may have in life (which I had as a child) I think some of this is genetic and can be triggered by seemingly minor events.

My dd1 saw CAMHS for a period at the end of primary school, she couldn't sleep without one of us in the room, she washed her hands obsessively, she picked off her skin, she would become paralysed with fear over tiny things and she spent every break at school hiding in the toilets. We were told she had low level anxiety, and she had a short course of counselling.

I think there has always been anxiety in children, but I don't think it was taken in any way as a thing. We recognise it now.

I am very glad that there is more of a conversation about anxiety and how debilitating it can be.

It’s probably loads of things.

I think a lot of kids have no idea how to manage risk. Parents sheltering them from responsibilities and experiences in case something happens.

There was a thread yesterday asking if the op should leave their nearly 8 year old st home alone for 10 minutes while they nipped to the shops.
Roughly 1/2 of posters wouldn’t dream of leaving the child - “what if you were run over on your way” etc etc etc. Instead of giving kids coping strategies for normal life some parents choose to shelter them instead.

High expectations at school and social media will also be massive issues

Social media
Technology leading to late nights
Not enough sleep

My view

• academics - there are fewer 'unskilled' jobs than before, so exam results are more important.
• technology - people don't ever give themselves space to 'switch off'. every minute is listening to music or face in a screen
• social media - the pressure to give out a perfect face to the world

This thread has made me so sad.

My beautiful 6yr DS is extremely anxious - to the point of being physically sick. It's so debilitating for him and we're only at the beginning of trying to work out what's going on.

And - sorry if I sound aggressive or angry - to the know-it-alls on this thread...

I have a degree in nutrition and my DH does triathlons (probably outing but I don't care), and we eat very well. DS has treats, of course, but has a healthy and balanced diet. He's (obviously) not on social media and we there are no family/health/social problems. We are a very 'normal' family!

The sad thing is, my DM took her own life 8 year ago and I didn't grieve properly until after DS was born. It makes me really sad to think the anxiety I experienced after he was born (that something terrible was going to happen) might have affected him. I have no idea if that's the case though.

My beloved DF died last year too, and I do think that has affected DS as they were very close.

Anyway, just another perspective. Don't always assume there's an obvious 'cause' or someone is to blame. It's a horrendous thing to watch a small child experience

I’m really hoping that I didn’t come across as a “know it all” in my own comment - my thoughts were my opinion on what I’ve seen over the last decade in children and trying to piece it together. I hope what I said hasn’t been taken as snobby or fact, just my views as what I feel may be causing increased anxiety in children.

I definitely believe children can suffer from anxiety, stress and depression. Sometimes I feel the reasons can be obvious and sometimes no one truly knows what triggers it. My own child hood was no walk in the park. Amazing parts and downright difficult parts. I’ve blocked out half my time at school.

I agree with what has been implied before- the world is changing dramatically and quickly and I think a lot of children are struggling to keep up with expectations.
I also think that, whilst we can’t expect everyone to cope with everything that happens just like that, that some are also not giving children a chance or the tools to do so which causes problems.

I wish the schools and government would change their stance on results are everything. I remember sitting at school and being told my Bs and Cs were not good enough when I was doing my damn best and giving it all I could and A levels almost tipped me over. There was no solution offered. No alternative to staying with academic study. My end of school boyfriend (long time ago ex!) was a C/D grade achiever who was mocked when he said he wanted to set up a plumbing business. Hell the guy is in town with me now on his 5 bed detatched house and doing bloody well for himself.
If you’re not at the top, you’re often torn down further.

Lack of social interaction due to social media so they can’t cope with basic things like being called names (not meaning full on bullying just run of the mill stuff). Also they have everything done for them nowadays so again don’t gain confidence from learning to do things for themselves (even simple things like cooking a basic meal or taking the bus). And over diagnosis must play a part. It’s perfectly normal to sometimes be scared or worried but nowadays this is labeled as anxiety