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Original poster

Christmas and Autism

68 replies

Dothehappydance · 16/12/2018 22:28

I'll just start by saying it sucks big hairy balls.

DS (10) is totally off the wall, dd (12) had a couple of friends stop overnight and he just couldn't cope, everything was wrong, I think this was the breaking point rather than the cause. The shouting, the anger, the chucking of stuff, it is just endless. We keep it as low key as we can but I have two other children and they want to do things. I am struggling so much to deal with it all, especially as the 12 year old is being, well a 12yr old.

How's everyone else coping if they are on this road as well?

OP posts:
IncyWincyGrownUp · 16/12/2018 22:34

We batten down the hatches and ride it out.

Five days of school left, then five days u TIL the whole house breathes a sigh of relief and starts recovering.

confusedofengland · 16/12/2018 23:02

My Ds2 (7) is excited but struggling. No meltdowns as such, but more of an attitude showing (usually a placid people pleaser), which I think is down to all the changes. He loves the lights, which is great, as he is hyposensitive to sensory stuff so needs extra sensory if he's struggling.

Children in Need day at school confused the heck out of him. Back-to-front day- why would you wear your clothes the wrong way round??? To give money to poor children. Why can't we just give them money & wear normal clothes??? Such good questions, he is oh so logical Grin Got round it by telling him his adored headmaster was being silly, only now he thinks he can dress down every Friday Hmm

BlackeyedGruesome · 16/12/2018 23:05

christmas and autism is enough of an explanation in itself here.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

10 year olds 12 year olds
Ouryve · 16/12/2018 23:11

I'm with you there. All further complicated by Weather and Crowds.

IncyWincyGrownUp · 16/12/2018 23:29

Weather can get to fuck Ouryve! I’ve one who hates weather, and one who bloody loves it, so it’s world war 12 whenever there’s anything other than a dull temperate day.

IncyWincyGrownUp · 16/12/2018 23:30

As for Other People, especially if those Other People don’t understand that the only acceptable languages are Pokemon/Nintendo/word puns and that dancing every thirteen steps is a life necessity. Well.

I’m not going to put them in the shed, but it’s quite tempting to clear the cupboard under the stairs just in case...

RoseMartha · 16/12/2018 23:32

Sending a 🤗 my asd 11 year old was hell today totally obnoxious and verbally and physically aggressive. I actually wondering if she is going to get her first period soon it was so bad, worse than normal behaviour for this time of year.

NoTeaNoShadeNoPinkLemonade · 16/12/2018 23:36

Tis the season to build a fortress...anywhere 'quiet' fill it up with sensory gear, favorite stuff, gadgets, headphones, have charging point available, throw out the screentime restrictions and hope for the best.
Brew Flowers

IncyWincyGrownUp · 16/12/2018 23:41

It’s too early to ditch the screentime rules here. There are five days of school left, and two days of contact with their dad. If I throw everything out of the window now nobody will be able to leave the house until January! :o

Twinklz · 16/12/2018 23:47

What are some children with Autism like at Christmas? Curious as have 6 year old With behavioural problems.

Ouryve · 16/12/2018 23:49

Mine are hormonal and working on making me the shortarse of the household. Screen time restrictions are long gone.

IncyWincyGrownUp · 16/12/2018 23:50

I have one that won’t talk about it until after it’s over. Can’t cope with the extra overload of expectations. He will grunt or outright deny Christmas is happening until the day, then will maybe manage a present or two if it’s calm enough.

I have one that Loves All The Things but also can’t manage is reactions so gets overtired, emotional, and downright grim at times.

Quite frankly, it’s just exhausting, but it’s nearly over!

IncyWincyGrownUp · 16/12/2018 23:52

Ouryve the eldest is a teen, but respects the evening deadline for screens as is slowly accepting sleep hygiene is a thing. The other two are younger sans im bolshier than the massively PDA infused one so I still win at the moment!

GreenTulips · 16/12/2018 23:56

Awful isn't it?
Too much going in at school too many plays rehearsals dress down parties church Ahhhh

Have to say much better and less involved at high school where these are opt in components.

Roll on 26th

snuggledonthesofa · 17/12/2018 00:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoTeaNoShadeNoPinkLemonade · 17/12/2018 00:24

Aah of course folks I didnt think about the impact of dropping screentime restrictions and school routines etc.

Would it be possible for those with older children to ask them to socialise elsewhere, I know its not fair and its their home too but its not Ideal being autistic either.

Twinklz
My experience with my ds is that for the weeks leading up to occasions, we initially have exitement, then he becomes overly excited which doesnt help when he is extremely hyperactive and also more clumsy than usual because he cant stop thinking about it.
As the day approaches he becomes extremely anxious about what he may/may not recieve (tbh recent years we found having him involved helps, so he gives a list of what he wants to eat and what gifts he would like, which is like getting blood from a stone!
I tick items off as they are purchased, we will also discuss alternative options for if i cant find something, so no surprises for him basically)
He gets anxious about the food eg asking will there be enough xx or yy, will it be touching, can i have my gravy seperatly ???about 10 million times a day!!!

We also have to go over any plans to go out a while in advance or its likely he just wont move, he has been carried out of the house in undies/pjs before and basically pinned down and dressed in the car...thats always...interesting.

And just when I think were ok, o ly have a few days to go and i can breathe easy. It all gets too much for him and he will start having massive meltdowns over anything and nothing because all that extra exitement and anxiety make him unable to regulate his emotions. I've learned the hard way that threatening to withold gifts makes it all so much worse!
He's like this on any occasion but christmas is the worst. He usually has to take breaks and have alone time and often opens his gift later or next day.

I usually decline plans unless one of the only 2 people he trusts are available.
If we 'have' to go visit a relative,
I'm sure to bring a "kit" containing ear defenders, something he will eat, a spare unwashed item of mine or my dps clothes and plenty of charge on my phone or tablet.
I find it handy to carry a toddler pop up play tent and comfort blankets in case of any issues because it will always serve to calm him down.

Tbh I think most kids struggle with their behaviour during this time, its all too much lately.
Everywhere you look its all hyper stimulating. Ads on telly or device, shop displays, billboards...no escape its all christmas! christmas!christmas! in yer face! Makes the kids a bit giddy, most behaviour would depend on how well they can regulate.

knittedmouse · 17/12/2018 00:26

Ds2, who is a teen, feels very anxious and says he doesn't like xmas. He has aspergers so can rationalise his way through it. I'm aspergers too and I struggle at xmas, but I'm doing an online shop and we have no pressure this year as we're just doing the bare minimum. The house is peaceful and quiet and we don't do noisy social activities. Ds2 has got a cadet party to attend tomorrow evening, but I've said I'll drive along and pick him up early if he's finding it too much. He's very nervous about it.

Last year, ds2 and I spent our time teasing one another with our respective xmas music ear worms 😂

NoTeaNoShadeNoPinkLemonade · 17/12/2018 00:31

Have to agree with GreenTulips
I find life a lot easier now we havent got plays, sports days, special assemblies and fundraisers etc to stress Ds out, it was all too overwhelmimg for him, he would often have to be removed from classes during the build up to these events and most of the time not given any role or responsibilties because they anticipated problems (I wasnt pleased, but we reached acompromise and they let him create flyers and things like that so he felt included)
Now in yr 8 he can choose to be involved in events if he wishes to.
He is thriving with the routines of high school, so home life is a bit better now too.

IncyWincyGrownUp · 17/12/2018 00:36

My most complex aspie is at a special school, so things have generally been slightly less stressful than they were when he was attending mainstream. There have still been triggers though, but the flip side is that if I ring school and tell them he’s not going anywhere near the place because there’s a guest in and he’s having none of it they’re generally quite understanding.

Five more days though. Just five.

PenguinPandas · 17/12/2018 04:10

Only got 2.5 more days of school left, phew. 11 y/o ASD DS.

PenguinPandas · 17/12/2018 04:15

Mine is fine at home but at school, well the Head phoned me and said would he be better at another school. 🐒

Original poster
Dothehappydance · 17/12/2018 07:46

Sorry to hear others are struggling. Penguin sorry to hear that, I hope you get something sorted for him .

On a good note, we have no food worries, seeing that he lives on a diet mainly consisting of cereal.

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 17/12/2018 07:50

Head phoned me and said would he be better at another school. 🐒

Pop that back to him in an email 'just so we're clear, you said X Y and Z this morning and suggested DC Would be. We're off at another school. Can you explain why you think (school) aren't meeting his needs!

Then speak to the LA about the teachers crap response

Hen2018 · 17/12/2018 08:29

Son told me this morning that he’s got 22 hours of lessons to go this year.

The Christmas lights are set to “migraine” every time I go out of the room.

We’re not going out ever.

We had Christmas pudding for supper last night.

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