Seriously heartbroken/ don’t know what to do

[Lovecookies1993]

I am a single mum of a 8month old babygirl , I live in California and her father lives in Illinois (wondering why: we were happy about the pregnancy then 2 weeks later he wanted me to fly back home due to him wanting to “move on , be free” while I was 2 months pregnant , he also had slept over a girls house when I was still living there and she dropped him off , I pretty much seen her) well now I’m in my hometown it’s been a year and he’s only seen his daughter 3 times in 8 months , the first time she was 3 weeks old the 2nd time it took him 6 months to see her him saying his job is busy and can’t take off days , 3rd time just recently on November 28 , we have a good parent bonding moments , we have fun . But..... now I just found out from mutual friends that he gave the girl who he left me for while I was living in his parents house a ring , and he also purchased a house , now I don’t know what to do I’m crushed , I kind of feel like he was hiding his new home because he told me if I go visit we would be in his parents house , now idk what to do

Pls give me advice

Forget him, you deserve much much better. You have your baby girl, focus on her and what you can give her. Take him to court to get the child maintenance for her (if he doesn't already pay it) and let him do the arranging and travelling for access if he wants it, and if he doesn't - it's his loss.

My Ex H half-checked out of his relationship with his daughters many years ago and chose to have a life with a new family. Chose to see them once a fortnight, which gradually became once a month, sometimes less. (he lives only 30 min drive away). He doesn't really know them, their likes/dislikes, hopes and fears. Your DD will grow up knowing that the one person she can rely on completely is you.

As above really. If he has the money to buy a new house, he has the money to come and see his daughter.

To be honest, she's so young that if he stops seeing her now, it will not damage her. If he limps on with contact due to you chasing him, then stops seeing her when she's older, it could scar her for life.

Sometimes these men fucking off is a blessing in disguise, I promise. He's an irresponsible dick head, do you really want him to have an influence on her life?

Focus on yourself and your beautiful baby, build a good life for you both. Leave the door open if he want to get up off his arse and visit, but don't put yourself out for him, there's no reason why you should, he's a grown man. You have every chance of having a good life without him on the scene and one day you'll look back and thank your lucky stars he fucked off when he did