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did You marry the love of your life?

71 replies

FleeceDetective · 15/12/2018 17:37

After reading on a few different threads some people can belittle the significance of a relationship because of how long it lasted or for not being married/having children.

It got me to thinking that for myself the most significant relationship I’ve had barely got started in an official way, and would seem like barely a fling for a lot of people, but to me it meant and still does mean a lot in shaping who I am and my life experiences.

I wonder if this is true for other people, is your most significant ex your longest relationship?

OP posts:
ToastyFingers · 15/12/2018 17:42

Yup, been together 11 years, Married for 2.
I think until you've been together long enough to have proper highs and lows, and to survive 'not so exciting' phase, you can't be sure if you truly love a person.

ChristmasCuddles · 15/12/2018 17:43

Yes. No doubt.

SickOFAdventCalendars · 15/12/2018 17:46

No!!! But I went through so many dickheads so couldn't miss this one out

halfwitpicker · 15/12/2018 17:47

Nope.

PushHop · 15/12/2018 17:55

No, but I'm realistic enough to appreciate that I still consider the "love of my life" to be so significant is because we never really had the chance to get things started, so we never had an opportunity to fuck it up. He's now a very dear friend (to me AND my DH) and always will be, but had we has a chance at a real relationship it could have gone horribly wrong and I probably wouldn't think of him as "the love of my life". I spent about 6 years completely in love with him and it just never happened because of timing and distance.

My DH on the the other hand - it's not earth shattering, weak in the knees love. It's a lot more stable and solid and reliable and comforting. It's better.

ToBeARockAndNotToRoll · 15/12/2018 17:55

Yes.

HarrySnotter · 15/12/2018 17:57

Yes. Then I fucked it up spectacularly.

PinkHeart5914 · 15/12/2018 17:58

Yes without a doubt!

DonDrapersOldFashioned · 15/12/2018 17:58

I agree toasty. It’s easy to romanticise a relationship that never really got out of the honeymoon phase.

I don’t really believe in the concept of ‘love of your life’ or ‘the one’. I think you can be wonderfully (and equally) happy with multiple people (monogamously).

As for my own experience, DH is my longest relationship (20+yrs). We have been through the mill, same as everyone. I think there are vanishingly few long relationships that experience no adversity at all. It’s not about not having problems, it’s about how you deal with them. There’s no one I’d rather be with. He’s my favourite human.

ApolloandDaphne · 15/12/2018 18:00

Yes. Married for 33 years. Cannot imagine life without him. He is my rock and he totally 'gets' me.

We have been through things no-one should ever have to go through (eldest DD was killed age 5) and we have still managed to stay together.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes he gets on my tits, but at the end of the day i love him. He is without doubt the love of my life.

MagicKeysToAsda · 15/12/2018 18:05

Yes, I did. I'm not at all romantic and didn't expect to marry or fall in love really. But it was genuinely connection at first sight, and he was the love of my life ("was" because he died 15 years ago. Still love him though.)

FurryDogMother · 15/12/2018 18:05

Absolutely. He's not perfect, I'm not perfect, but together we're good. I know how lucky that makes me :)

madcatladyforever · 15/12/2018 18:06

My last husband was the love of my love and we were together for almost 20 years, I imagined us growing old together. We did everything together.
We always held hands everywhere, he always called me his darling and in all his cards said I was the love of his life.
He did this right up to the day he dumped me and walked out in pursuit of a more interesting life involving swinging when I was in hospital leaving me with no money or job and nobody to bring me home again. He couldn't have cared less what happened to me.
I have since got a fantastic job, am well again and have a good life but |'ll never trust another man again and intend staying single from now on.

Onehellofaride · 15/12/2018 18:07

Yes I did even though I don’t always show it. Together 12 years married 8.

GlitterPixie · 15/12/2018 18:07

No mine died, never really loved anyone since and settled. I really LIKE my husband but it’s not the same

DramaAlpaca · 15/12/2018 18:09

Yes. Together over 30 years now. He's wonderful.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 15/12/2018 18:12

Yes. Can't imagine being with anyone else.
I'm not sure why he puts up with me a lot of the time!

FrangelicoCandyBoughs · 15/12/2018 18:15

Yes!. We got together at 15, now 11 years and 4 sons later we are just as much in love as we were as teenagers!

Shepherdspieisminging · 15/12/2018 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IdblowJonSnow · 15/12/2018 18:18

I've had more than one but third time lucky - so far!

Florries · 15/12/2018 18:20

I love my DH more than Harry loves Sandra.

RatRolyPoly · 15/12/2018 18:26

Did I marry the love of my life? Yes. And then I divorced him, and probably shouldn't have married him in the first place. But I had loved him in a way I'd never loved before, and a way I would never want to love anyone again! Too intense, too feisty, too co-dependant, too exhausting and ultimately not good for either of us. But crazy, burning, irrational love, just like you read about in books.

Recovering from him changed who I am in innumerable ways, and the course of my life was completely altered. But God I'm glad it didn't go on any longer than it did, and I don't want to feel like that ever again.

Purplehammer · 15/12/2018 18:26

No.
And i’ve been married twice.
Wonder if it would have been the fairy tale I’ve always imagined.
It was before I was married.
It was a long time ago but the memories will always be there.
We have never seen each other nor had any contact since.

NotAColdWomanHenry · 15/12/2018 18:29

No, but I know the one who I consider the love of my life, my first love and he still makes me weak at the knees, isn't really right for me. There are some things that are really incompatible, and that annoy me and even if he offered, I don't think I'd want a relationship as it would be sure to go wrong again. FWB would be nice, but he's married and not interested AFAIK!

I still have dreams about him though and when I do bump into him once in a while I'm floored by the love and chemistry that floods through me.

Instead I spent almost 20 years with someone I thought I loved but gradually realised was not at all the nice guy he made out. I have no love left for him at all now, whereas I'll always love Mr LOML. To answer your question I was with LOML for only 5 years in all (in two separate attempts!)

theredjellybean · 15/12/2018 18:29

No, I married young for all the wrong reasons.
Now I am with the love of my life. I know the difference... And if dp ever died young or left me I genuinely don't think I'd want anyone else ever