I can't date this voice help

[flyingdragonzog]

Spent a few days messaging and setting up a date

All seemed good - same interests, interesting conversation etc

But I cannot date the voice that called me. It's the voice of an ex. Obviously it's not but it's the same accent and not the most common accent

I know as nice as this guy might be I don't want to go on the date and knew instantly when I heard the voice

Stupidly I was polite and carried on the conversation and they've messaged about having a good feeling and they can tell I'm a nice person

But I'm an awful person aren't I? I cannot date that voice.

It's no different to not being able to date someone because they physically resemble an abusive ex. It's an emotional response to something dreadful that happened to you. If your ex assaulted you and had blonde hair, a beard and glasses the. You may well not be attracted to others who are blonde with a beard and glasses. Is that racist?

It isn't really any different I suppose. It just feels hideous as I would feel far more able and less disgusting to not offend someone by telling them I didn't go for blondes or beards

You are over thinking this as far as your next stage is concerned. You need to be cold, firm and polite and say you no longer wish to date because you have other life goals to pursue. Just be polite and then put the phone down.

Don't TELL someone that you don't go for blondes or beards, if they are blonde or have a beard. Just say no thank you.

You're right not to tell him why, BTW. But yes maybe take a break from dating in general, if you feel like this? It's a dangerous combo. Spend some time on your own working out what you are looking to get out of a relationship, and working on your own goals, friendships, whatever makes you feel fulfilled outside of a relationship.