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Original poster

What is the oddest argument you have ever overheard...

217 replies

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 13/12/2018 18:46

My neighbours have been arguing VERY loudly for the past 20 minutes. It's a very cross angry shouting back and forward slamming doors type argument. The source of this row is that he is using the spring tea towels not the winter ones. Shock.

I genuinely didn't know firstly that seasonal tea towels were a thing and secondly that it could cause such a lot of fuss!

Please tell me, the neighbours I considered normal, are not having the oddest argument in the history of the world and that you have heard stranger quarrels than this!

OP posts:
ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 13/12/2018 18:48

There wasn't a stand-up row, but there were Fierce Looks and Mutterings when my stepdad put the Christmas loo roll out in July.

goforkyourself · 13/12/2018 19:02

Not an argument as such but I caught the tail end of a conversation the other day '.... then she called us both gorillas and started crying!' ConfusedShock

Amazona24 · 13/12/2018 19:04

OP that did make me laugh!

OComeAllYeFaithful · 13/12/2018 19:07

When my Mum was very ill, the woman next to her was hallucinating. She had a huge row with someone we couldn’t see. Best line was What do you mean he’s in prison? Last time I saw him, he was dead! We had to laugh (or else we’d cry).

Original poster
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 13/12/2018 19:07

See your stepdad and me share the same logic, bog roll is bog roll it doesn't matter if its Christmas themed, its not there to look pretty Xmas Grin.

I am however intrigued by the gorilla conversation, I wonder what was said beforehand for that to be her reply.

They are still yelling at each other, she's now even crosser because he told her she is being irrational... Confused

OP posts:
abbsisspartacus · 13/12/2018 19:09

Is she pregnant? I remember being irrational when I was pregnant (clutching at straws here)

goforkyourself · 13/12/2018 19:13

The gorilla conversation was between two guys. To be fair, one of them did look like a gorilla Grin

Muuuuuuuum · 13/12/2018 19:22

I had to intervene in an argument my DC were having about what hairstyle the cat would have if it were human. That was pretty odd.

Original poster
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 13/12/2018 19:26

No chance of her being pregnant they are an older couple, maybe she's just had a tough week.

I am slightly disappointed to learn he looked like a gorilla, it doesn't seem as good of an insult if he actually resembles a gorilla. Xmas Grin

OP posts:
MrsPear · 13/12/2018 19:30

I did not cross with h because I thought he hadn’t got the one thing I really wanted - assorted not plain assorted toffees. Oh no. It was done via WhatsApp. Ds1 found it hilarious.

ChocolateTearDrops · 13/12/2018 19:38

she's now even crosser because he told her she is being irrational...

Yep, that always helps in a blazing row. "Oh yes dear, I'm being irrational how silly of me!"

Guaranteed to stoke the flames of any row, that is.

FreezerBird · 13/12/2018 19:39

A couple of summers ago the neighbours were arguing - it was hot and their windows were open so I had a good listen as I pegged out the washing.

By the time I got there they had moved on from whatever it was he had done and were engaged in a vigorous back-and-forth about whether or not he was an arsehole. She is American and he is British, and the variation in accent was hilarious as they used the word every time:
Her: you behaved like an asshole
Him: I did not behave like an arsehole
Her: you did! You're an asshole
Him: I am not an arsehole

This went on for some time and probably loses a lot in the telling but honestly, it was hilarious. I never did hear what he had done though.

alansleftfoot · 13/12/2018 19:41

'Tuesday is red'
'No it isn't, it's yellow'
And on and on .......

NotExactlyHappyToHelp · 13/12/2018 19:58

Heard a woman on the phone to (I’m presuming her fella) while shopping in Outfit. It was getting all a bit terse by the tone and then

“Well I’ve taken the bloody coat back anyway (pause) because Dave you said I looked like a James Bond villain in it (pause) No Dave that’s not a compliment you prick!”

I was howling. Poor Dave Grin.

AviatorShades · 13/12/2018 20:10

FreezerBird I'm anglo-american and I love the asshole/arsehole argumentGrin

PuddleglumtheMarshWiggle · 13/12/2018 20:20

In the Senior Common Room of a very well known university
"But seriously, in a fight between a dragon and a hobbit..."

It would have been understandable if he hadn't said "Seriously" These are supposed to be some of the biggest brains of the country and sometimes it sounds like an episode of the Big Bang Theory.

weekfour · 13/12/2018 20:53

I was on a ward for the elderly after being admitted to hospital late in the evening. The lady next to me was up all night having an imaginary argument..... about how she should never have drowned the baby in the (local landmark).

I have never been so glad to get home and I cannot visit the local landmark without thinking about it. She was truly convinced and there were so many details.

alansleftfoot · 13/12/2018 20:54

Actually tempted to start a thread about what colour is Tuesday 🤔

Ifangyow · 13/12/2018 21:05

A few weeks ago a couple in a car park were having an argument. It ended with her shouting ' Don't you call me an idiot, you fucking chewit'
Me and my OH fell about laughing.

IJustLostTheGame · 13/12/2018 21:07

Two people were having a screaming hysterical argument outside my office window about who gave each other herpes last summer.
That was pretty spectacular.

Trills · 13/12/2018 21:09

If anyone told me I looked like a Bond villain in a coat I would definitely keep it

user1466690252 · 13/12/2018 21:10

When I was pregnant I had a blazing argument with dh because he moved the tin of tuna I wanted to eat. I rang him up, screaming down the phone that he has messing with me and trying to ruin my life and why would he move it and what the hell possesd him.
I was very pregnant, and it was very hot, and I have obviously since apologised.

It was on the next shelf, but I was raging at the time

MsFenellaFielding · 13/12/2018 21:14

"You've never liked Kylie".

Still makes me laugh.

Angie169 · 13/12/2018 21:15

alansleftfoot
That reminded me of an argument that I walked in on many years ago.
I entered the room to female colleagues arguing one turned to me and said what colour was Wednesdays. Me errr Confused blue? They both looked at me with equal puzzlement and confusion and said what are you talking about it was blonde other lady said said no it was brown. Me even more ConfusedConfused
1st lady repeats what colour was WENDYS ? ( me Confused ) 2nd lady her hair you fool , what colour was Wendy's hair ? Me who the hell is Wendy ? 1st lady , her that got the sack last week ! Me , her name was Sophie, she had dark brown hair . 2nd lady muttering oh yeah as she walked off.
I don't think I've ever had such a short and confusing conversation ,/ argument in my life before

Mumshappy · 13/12/2018 21:15

In a and e i heard a couple arguing over whether a fat person could or couldnot be anorexic. She was claiming they could be. He was against this. Crux of it was she was more than obese and ended up convincing him after about 40 minutes that she was correct and that she herself was indeed anorexic too. If I hadnt been in so much pain I dont think I could have stopped myself from opening my big mouth