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Original poster

What is the oddest argument you have ever overheard...

217 replies

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 13/12/2018 18:46

My neighbours have been arguing VERY loudly for the past 20 minutes. It's a very cross angry shouting back and forward slamming doors type argument. The source of this row is that he is using the spring tea towels not the winter ones. Shock.

I genuinely didn't know firstly that seasonal tea towels were a thing and secondly that it could cause such a lot of fuss!

Please tell me, the neighbours I considered normal, are not having the oddest argument in the history of the world and that you have heard stranger quarrels than this!

OP posts:
The80sweregreat · 15/12/2018 10:24

I imagine that submarines sink?

Chocolate85 · 15/12/2018 10:27

This thread is brilliant! Loving these stories!

Herja · 15/12/2018 10:33

Once I had a spectacular argument by phone, which ended in me flouncing and leaving him (for about 15 minutes) with late BF about press up technique. After half an hour even I was laughing at it, it must have been bisarre for anyone hearing it. He did say it was the strangest reason he'd ever been dumped. I tend to be the instigator of ridiculous arguments, not the person that overhears.

Herja · 15/12/2018 10:36

Not once, but twice in two different pregnancies, I had full screaming hysterics in Ikea because ExH felt there wasn't enough time for me to have a hotdog. One of thrm we were giving someone a lift home. She was wedged in the back by a cot while I had a full on toddler style tantrum. But that happened twice... I feel he should have learnt from the first time.

TSSDNCOP · 15/12/2018 10:38

For 6 years DH and I have been having a non-verbal disagreement about the mat the cat bowls sit on. I have it portrait, short edge to the wall, he has it landscape with the long edge to the wall. It gets turned at least once a day.

IHopeThisIsAGoodIdea · 15/12/2018 11:02

Not exactly an argument, but weird...

Guy sitting behind me on the bus (who I thought was a woman based on manner of dress until he talked) talking on his cell phone about a pathetic bitch taking selfies on the bus (chick sitting in front of me).

Turns out they were friends and got off on the next stop together. Shock With friends like that...

When I was late for a test in school, my teacher yelled at me quite harshly, causing me to cry and his response was "I can cry too." What a bizarre and immature response from an almost 60 year old man.

firstbrightday · 15/12/2018 11:14

I had an argument with my friend in high school about whether or not Robbie Williams was an overrated singer. I said he was more of a showman and couldn't actually sing that well and she got very very upset

Lemonysnicketts · 15/12/2018 11:22

Why do some of us see the days of the week in colour? As soon as I read this I knew the colours always seen but why?!

Monday - Pale blue
Tuesday - Green
Wednesday - yellow
Thursday - Purple
Friday - red
Saturday - Pale yellow
Sunday - really dark blue

Why?!

Owletty · 15/12/2018 11:31

TSSDN I'm with your dh on the cat mat Grin

IHopeThisIsAGoodIdea · 15/12/2018 11:51

@charis

"XH and I once had a raging argument about whether Dad's bedroom carpet was pink or purple. He was seething so much he started Angry Driving and it continued until we got home and I won by googling various paint charts."

That reminds me of the time my husband and I had a huge argument when in a shop to buy navy blue pillowcases. He said our sheet and duvet cover were both black, I said they were dark navy. He argued he knew what colour they were since he bought them, I argued that I had washed them more so I knew what colour they were. We bought the black pillowcases because I was "daft" and he was right. Got home he looked at them next to our sheet and duvet cover and said "Oh they are dark navy." Xmas Hmm

"Art3mis

In HMV a few months ago, overheard a couple having a heated whisper argument about whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie or not"

It totally is!!!

TSSDNCOP · 15/12/2018 11:53

Are you and DH in cahoots Owl? Xmas Grin

The problem with landscape is it takes out swing space when you open the larder door. Which is where the cat food —and let’s face it, the majority of essential stuff in the world— so the mat gets turned diagonally anyway.

No, my way is better because it’s more efficient.

MERLYPUSSEDOFF · 15/12/2018 11:58

Tuesday is peach.
I cant randomly colour each day as they sometimes change.

Friday is petrol green/blue today. But that could be due to Scouts yesterday.

The number 8 is also peach.

Heuschrecke · 15/12/2018 11:59

Cat mats should totally be long edge to the wall. Sorry, TSSDNCOP!

As for IKEAs, they are all clearly designed by lunatics. Actually, I guess they're designed by just the one lunatic as they all have the same layout I think? Brent Cross and Purley have the same layout.

BadlyAgedMemes · 15/12/2018 12:19

I can't think of any stupid ones I've overheard lately, but the stupidest argument I ever had was with my DF about the size of the Mona Lisa. Well, not the actual size, as that was easy enough to verify, but whether it seemed big or small. Hmm

My art teacher had told me that Mona Lisa actually seemed surprisingly small when you went to see it, considering how famous it is, and the size of the crowd. I hadn't seen it myself. DF had seen it, and thought that no, it's still actually a pretty big painting.

I think we actually argued about it for a few YEARS on and off, and got pretty heated about it too. I can't imagine all the eyerolling DM must have done in the background...

Mooycow · 15/12/2018 12:33

A couple were having an all out blazing row in the car park of a local supermarket which ended with her saying “ I am not a violent woman , but for you I will make an exception “ , my OH and I were laughing all the way back to the car .

ForalltheSaints · 15/12/2018 12:36

Whether or not a particular Bible was translated from a particular version of Latin or not.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 15/12/2018 12:52

Tuesday is light .

The lady who sees in ribbons - that's hard core synaesthesia!

Years ago the couple downstairs were arguing very loudly at about 2am (post Christmas party). There was a sudden metallic bonk sound - which my flatmates and I agreed sounded like frying pan on head - and then silence. To this day I wonder if we should called the police and/or ambulance.

A very dear friend and I were arguing about who had scored a last minute goal in an FA Cup fixture. After about ten minutes of us shouting, I realised that he was talking about the first game and I was talking about the replay so we were both right and peace was restored.

Atleastihavethecat · 15/12/2018 13:03

Overhead my teen DC arguing, name calling, and being quite nasty. Waited to see what they were arguing about. Ds said "no, sister's name, you're wrong. A fire dragon would beat an ice dragon, because they've got some ice dragons don't. Fucking fire."

Arrowfanatic · 15/12/2018 13:29

My exbil was rowing with my sister as she was seeing her male friend for a trip to the cinema and he accused her of abandoning her children (13 & 17) for her boyfriend. He was texting these messages to her from his girlfriend's house......whome he had an affair with.......and he also has another girlfriend in another town.

I literally just my brain attempting to work out his logic. It's been 12 months and he still bitches at my sister at every opportunity about her friend (purely because he's male) and accuses her of abandoning her family.

justilou1 · 15/12/2018 14:27

“Oooooh..... Don’t eat that, Deirdre - It’s foreign!”
“But it’s spaghetti, innit?”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t come in a tin!”

It was bolognese. They ordered pizza instead. Glad they didn’t risk anything foreign.

Oldraver · 15/12/2018 14:35

My next door neighbours are forever arguing, well she screeches at him for hours...recently we have heard him shouting back A few year ago you could even hear her over a fire engine that came into the close. People gathered outside were ...WTF...when you could hear her screech above the sirens.

Anyway...I have heard lots about her life that I would not rather including how she has had to remortgage and she is fed up of being the only one to cook.

A few months ago she was screeching and said to Malcolm...But what are we going to do, what if it BURSTS when we are on holiday (abroad), what kind of mess would that be ...or words to that effect

morningconstitutional2017 · 15/12/2018 15:43

It sounds to me like one of those trivial things which is taken too far seriously by an over-fussy type. Does it really matter?

My SIL is a right moaner. Once she nagged so much over a blob of custard that BIL had spilled on his tie I thought WWIII would break out.

Boomerwang · 15/12/2018 15:50

Sorry just... I had no idea other people saw colours in names.

Monday is white
Tuesday is yellow
Wednesday is a very dark green
Thursday is pale blue
Friday is sky blue
Saturday is very red
Sunday is orange.

FuckBrussel · 15/12/2018 16:15

I would have said that if a submarine goes under while it's moving through the water, that's a dive; if it's stationary and just goes straight down, that's sinking?

The80sweregreat · 15/12/2018 18:28

I said to dh once ' if you were a day of the week you would be a monday , a month you would be January'
( not sure which colour though)
We're still married!