What do you tell your child about how babies are made.

[DoubleLottchen]

DD (7) was asking me "I don't understand how I am related to daddy".

Explained everything bar one crucial fact, which obviously she put her finger on straight away - "but I don't understand how it gets from daddy to inside you".

I feel she is too young to know that - am I being ridiculous? What do others say - I would like to keep it factual but child-friendly.

DD (5) asked this recently and I tentatively put forward the ‘special cuddle’ idea, seeing if that would be sufficient. It wasn’t, so I went straight to explaining penis in vagina. She thought it was hilarious.

DD is 3.5 and currently asking lots of these sort of questions (no baby sibling to trigger it, she just likes knowing about bodies - this follows her intense interest in how food goes through you and what lungs do).

Following advice on here i bought the excellent “Let’s talk about the birds and the bees” and “Let’s talk about girls, boys, babies, bodies, families and friends.” The first one is a bit better on the “how your body changes growing up” issues, but the latter is really good for having clearly labelled names for every part of the body (from elbow to urethra) so she hopefully won’t grow up into one of the seemingly unending stream of grown women on MN who say in astonishment that they’ve just discovered they don’t urinate through their vaginas.

At the moment she asks me to read them like stories, so we do small sections every so often. She is chiefly interested in the body parts names and the baby growing and changing shape inside you section. I expect her focus will shift more to the sex section at some point, but at the moment we’ve read it once and she wasn’t that interested and hasn’t asked again.

If she was older and could read i would let her browse them herself to consolidate knowledge as well as talking them through with her. It’s no weirder that “what is a broken leg” or “what are hiccups” as body-questions go, and at least if you do it openly and using correct language she won’t grow up wondering where the bottom plasters fit into it all.

I also love "where willy went" it is funny and sweet and just detailed enough to give the facts without being clinical. I have always been factual about facts of life it is not ignorance that protects children it is knowledge. My children sound like they sprang out of an Enid Blyton book sometimes (minus the racism and suspicion of women wearing trousers) but they knew about periods, penises, sperm and pregnancy and all that from early ages.

All this special cuddle nonsense 😂

Bottom plasters 😂
(Although Dd at about 3/4 did shout very loudly in the toilets ‘won’t be long daddy, Mumma’s just changing her bloody nappy)

Usbourne do a great book called ‘what’s happening to me’

It comes in 2 versions tailored to each sex. I bought both for my dc and they had them from about age 5/6.

It's just biology. You wouldn't fudge around telling them how their digestive system works.

Get the nitty gritty out of the way now so you can deal with the tricky relationship and smutty questions later. Makes it less embarrassing when your 12yr old asks you about teabagging shortly after starting secondary school 🤦‍♀️.

Mummies bottoms get a bit sore when they don't have a baby in their belly and might need bottom plasters
😂😂😂 I can't cope with this!

My daughter asked me the other day how the baby got in my tummy and how it would get out and I was stumped, she is 3! I thought I had a bit more time to think about it!

I said mummy has an egg in there that is growing into a baby. She went on to ask where she was when I was a baby in my mummy's tummy. It all got a bit existential for me by that point.

Bottom plasters?? What the fuck?

Another vote for “the body book” by Clare Rayner, it’s brilliant

I'm wincing a bit at mummy's sore bottom when she and daddy aren't trying to make a baby...

But yeah, I just did egg/seed, willy/vagina (we already had a concept of a hole for the baby to come out of, so easy to add that's where the seed goes in). Mine are 8 & 4.

My son knows that boys have sperm In his testicles and girls have eggs in their ovaries. He knows that sperm meets egg and makes a baby but hasn't asked how they meet.

He knows where babies come out and he also knows that sometimes a mum might need a cesarean to have baby.

He's known that since he was 4.

This book is good too, it has a bit on lots of different bodily functions eg digestion, fighting disease, heart and lungs, seeing and hearing etc there are cartoons of germs, people working inside your body doing different jobs. There are some pages on reproduction which are good. I had it when I was little and used to read it for hours!! I bought it for our kids too and they love it too!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Your-Body-Works-Judy-Hindley/dp/1409562905/ref=mpssa113?ie=UTF8&qid=1544647262&sr=8-3&pi=ACSX2366SY340QL65&keywords=how+your+body+works&dpPl=1&dpID=61F2Jxj0yUL&ref=plSrch

I couldn't use phrases like 'special cuddle', they'd know I was talking bollox as I've never used childish euphemisms for anything.

I just told them straightforward, factually correct explanations to any questions they asked. You can tell when you've gone into too much scientific detail when they start changing the subject!

They're 10 and 11 now and have a pretty good understanding of the ins and outs (so to speak) and DS who's 11 feels very open about speaking to me about anything that's troubling him, or any questions he has. We've even started having basic discussions surrounding issues such as pornography and consent (all in an age-appropriate way), as he's at secondary school now and not all parents are are as bloody careful with the internet as we are!

I think he finds it easy to talk to me because I'm matter of fact, informed, and open, so he knows he'll get a sensible and thoughtful answer. I just hope it continues as puberty hits.

I'm sorry but I'm roaring with laughter at bottom plasters 😂😂😂

I had to re read that one sentence a fair few times before I realised you were talking about periods...

If I was confused godknows what the poor child thinks is going on!!!

My 7yo knows that the dad puts his penis in the mum's vagina, and his seed, which is called sperm, comes out, goes up the vagina, to meet with the mum's egg, and they make a baby, which grows in the mum's womb.

Nothing age inappropriate about that. Facts are nothing to be scared of.

I have told my 4yo that daddy put his seed into mummy and it grows into a baby. It comes out of the hole girls and women have in the place he has a willy.

He hasn't asked how the seed gets there, I will tell him the truth if he does.

My little boy is 15 months so not there yet, but my sister’s kids live on a farm so just know about it in the same way they understand where near/milk/eggs/veg come from. She and her husband are also relaxed and open about answering questions when they arise. Seems a good approach to me: the kids are matter of fact and unembarrassed.

Meat, not near, bloody autocorrect!

I recommend Mummy laid an egg by Babbette Cole. Its age appropriate and the illustrations are hilarious.

My D.C. asked when they were 5 yo.

I told them the truth.

I tell them the truth whatever the question.

I have boys and have used Lego as an analogy.
Half of the instruction book on how to build a baby is from Daddy sperm and the other half is mummy’s egg.
Once you have the full set of instructions the baby can start to grow in Mummy’s womb.

Thank you for all the book recommendations. Think I might make a trip to waterstones and have a look at some of them.

Mummy laid an egg by Bibbette Cole - it's hilarious!
www.slideshare.net/mobile/josemartinezalcolea/mummy-laid-an-egg

We had Where Willy Went and Mummy Laid an Egg! Both go the message through. Also Y5 sex Ed helped. According to my daughter, it was very informative!

DD 12 now, so I give her books on periods and self-care now. She is an avid reader and books help me hit the message home.