I’ve been offered a housing association flat, don’t know what to do?

[RosieRoo4]

I’m in a bit of a dilemma so I will get straight to the point, disabled DS (quite severely disabled, he receives higher rate DLA and mobility) and I are currently living in a privately rented 2 bed house with very expensive electric heating, rent is £875.00 a month of which I receive £680.00 in housing benefit, I make the rest up myself.

I have been bidding on social housing properties since March, I received a phone call yesterday from a housing association offering me a flat in a city about 12 miles away from where I live now. I jumped in the car and drove into the city to have a look at the outside, it’s on quite a notorious estate, first impressions were not good, yes there was an overturned shopping trolley in the communial garden and various other things that make up a typical deprived area.

The flat is vacant so I looked through the windows, it’s been gutted, no flooring etc. The flat is nice enough, I liked what I could see, the front door looks very secure.

The huge communal recycling bins were overflowing with beer cans and bottles. A few of the other flats don’t look desirable, blankets and towels used as curtains etc.

I really don’t know what to do.

Should I accept because of the cheaper rent (£402.00) and the fact that it’s half a mile away from my DS’s special needs school? I currently have to get him up at 5.45am to have him ready for school transport at 7.15am, he often isn’t home until 4.30pm, it’s a very long day for him.
I’m concerned about him being ridiculed by the other children on the estate, he would be oblivious but it would cut me like a knife. I have until Monday to decide, if I accept then it would be sign up Monday and move ASAP. My current letting agent has spoken to my landlord and he is willing to let me out of my tenancy 2 months early without penalties.

All my family and friends live in the small town where I currently live, I grew up here, everybody knows my DS, he’s safe here. I know nobody in the city.
I really don’t know what to do. It would mean moving literally days before Christmas to a flat with no flooring, I have little furniture because my house was let to me furnished and I have been there for years.

I honestly didn’t think I would be offered anywhere as we are adequately housed, I bidded on the flat several months ago which means quite a few people have viewed and refused before it was offered to me.

Mumsnetters, what would you do?

It may not be so easy as to 'just go back to private renting'. When my cousin lived on a dire estate and finally managed to get out, she couldn't even find a man with a van willing to move her out of there because no one wanted to go near the place. Postcode discrimination is a real thing. And you'll spend a load decorating it.

It can be very depressing.

As this is your first offer, no way I'd take it. They always try to get you to take a hard to let place. There's a reason why it's hard to let.

accept the property and swap later on just to get a foot in the HA door. It might take longer as the notoriety may put people off but would happen eventually.

It really wouldn't. The only reason anyone would swap to a notorious estate is because of overcrowding. So they would swap a one bed for a two bed. This won't help the OP as she will always need a 2 bed, and won't want to swap to a 1 bed.

As this is your first offer, no way I'd take it. They always try to get you to take a hard to let place. There's a reason why it's hard to let.

^This.

You'll lose nothing by waiting. You could lose a lot by accepting.

If you're not a natural risk taker it's not wise to start with something as basic and essential as your housing.

My grandson is being raised on a council estate.
He’s autistic.
He’s been bullied because other children have seen him getting of the special needs bus

It’s a beautiful house and the surrounding area isn’t too bad...
he’s 21 and manages to get himself about quite a bit
If the area was really dreadful he would really struggle

FWIW OP I was pipped to the post on a flat I REALLY wanted

A week later I was offered one that IS in a lovely area, even if I won the lottery I wouldn't move away from the area, I might buy another property but would stay here

Don't think it's your only hope!

Just wanted to say that we grew up in a 'rough' area that most people avoided. We had a brilliant community there. Everyone looked out for each other's kids, we had bbq's with all the neighbours etc. It hasn't affected our lives in the long term, my parents got on the property ladder and live in the next village to mine, both very naice areas. And my sister lives in a lovely town as well. However, we have very minimal community here. Bar a few neighbours nobody speaks to each other. Honestly, I'd rather live in the 'rough' areas for the community for my children and being able to speak to my neighbours about any issues. It's a bit snobby around here and a few neighbours seem to think they own the place, I've never had that elsewhere. I think once you've settled in you'll enjoy it. We had a little boy on our street with ASD, it was quite severe. We never even dreamed of bullying him, we made sure we looked after him and he was one of us. Good luck with whatever you choose!

I think with flats you always get worse than if it's a house. Communal doorways, bins etc.
I would hold out for a house. You will get one, if you bid right. Don't take the first thing you're offered as once you're in it you're trapped:: as someone who's been a tenant people who will exchange want houses and better areas. Find out which estates are the better ones, where people mostly work, a lot of houses are bought, there are no burnt out cars etc. Then look at the support networks around them. Where will be best. You have a lot of strength supporting your needs with your situation, you may be able to negotiate. Don't settle for a flat in a dump which loads of people have refused already.

Good morning everybody, thank you for your replies, I’m sorry I didn’t post last night, I was feeling a little deflated. My parents are dead set against us moving, as is my DD and DP. I have decided to refuse the flat, continue living where I am now and carry on bidding but on houses this time. As most of you have said my support network is fantastic, if I moved I think I would feel a little lost and lonely.

I am in band C, when I look back at what happened to my past bids most properties were let to band C’s with a few B’s and the odd D so I do stand a good chance of being offered somewhere else. I also noticed that the estate frequently has flats available to bid on which means there are a lot of comings and goings. The flat itself is very nice, we could make it a lovely home but the thought of what’s outside my front door I would find depressing long term, I know that sounds terrible.

Thank you so much for answering me, all you’re replies were very helpful and supportive. They definitely helped me make what I feel now is the right choice.

Hope you all have a lovely Christmas

Oh, phew! Right choice! The vision of your boy pottering about your local supermarket really really is a lovely one, and I wouldn't give that up for a scary estate. I think there are wide varieties of 'rough' and some are actually lovely communities and some are hell holes, where people can't sleep peacefully at night. I'm so glad you're staying.

I moved from a private rental in a nice area to a HA property on a notorious estate.

It was a bit of a culture shock at first but on the whole it has been a good move. I had my shed broken into the first week I was here.

My immediate neighbours are fine, the family that back on to my garden are lovely, I met them when a nerf dart came into the garden and the little girls asked, "Lady, please lady can you give us our dart back?"

I do have a problem with noise in the summer as someone at the back and down 2 doors thinks her back garden is a night club but the council have dealt with it.

A big difference may be that I'm in a bungalow and they are only let to older or disabled tenants so the 7 properties are sort of all of us in the same boat.

I've just noticed your update, glad you have made a choice and that it's good for you.

I think you’ve made the right decision.

I hope the New Year sees you slipping back on to this thread, full of genuine delight, to announce you’ve just been accepted to rent a lovely HA house midway between your family and the school. :)

How long have you been with your DP? Do you think he’s thinking about you all living together? Or marriage?

Rosie glad you have made a decision & actually your bidding situation doesn’t sound to bad, Best wishes & hope something lovely comes up soon.

Oh like pp said, phew.

I was getting anxious about it and I don’t even know you!

You’ve made the right choice.

I read your post and remembered another mum who posted on here who had moved into a council house on an estate which was really rough and she felt too intimidated to even leave her home. You definitely need to go talk to other residents before moving to an area. I think having support and a kind community are worth paying more for.

You are all so lovely

I will be back later to reply, it’s DS’s Christmas play today, hoping he will actually get on stage this year!

Having a supportive family is money in the bank.

I live in a nice ish area , that sits close to a deprived area but I love it there. My children are about a mile and a half away. I can help them out, they can help us out.
Sadly my parents are no longer here.
We have a good standard of life ...even my son in a beautiful new 4 bed HA house.
I think there’s less trouble in his area than in ours.

When me and my first husband wanted a villa in Florida...we didn’t know where tO start . I wrote a list of what I wanted. Did a little meditation on it and what I got ticked every box.
Not too expensive..tick
Very close to Disney ..tick
Heated Pool...tick
4 bedrooms ...tick

Did the same when I was ready to meet someone new after my first marriage broke up. I got my man lol and have had ten fabulous years together.

Good luck Rosie

Viewofffriday - Thinking about it today I agree with you, I drove past again today and it’s not for us. My DS loves a potter around the supermarket, I have a fair few tons of mushy peas in the cupboard, I think the colour of the can appeals to him!

MollysLips - I hope so too, new bidding starts today so I’m going to have a look and bid on more suitable properties. I have been with DP for 4 years and I have a sparkly ring on my finger, we have plans to live together but it’s not the right time at the moment, we have taken things very slowly because of DS, DS has had his own bedroom at DP’s house for about a year and has only just got used to staying there. I will most certainly post if I am lucky enough to be offered another property

Calvinsmam - my parents sighed a huge sigh of relief.

tenredthings - I’ve definitely made the right decision, we would be easy targets for bullies, I’m not a tough cookie and wouldn’t be able to cope.

we would be easy targets for bullies, I’m not a tough cookie and wouldn’t be able to cope.

I think knowing that about yourself is really important, I've lived a couple of places I didn't 'fit' and it definitely made me an easy target, it was a very stressful way to live. Glad you've made a decision you're happy with, best of luck for future bids and hope you have a lovely Christmas

How did his play go? Did he get onstage?

There is no stability with private renting. It doesn't matter how great the landlord is, if they decide they want the property back, then you're out. I'm as secure as you can be in private rental but I would be mad to turn down a HA property. The location would be a concern but not necessarily a deal breaker

Yes, but if the landlord wanted his property back, the op would be in a higher banding on the waiting list and would have a much better chance of a successful bid for a 'better' property.

Hidingtonothing - I’m a total wimp and I know it thank you, I hope you have a lovely Christmas too!

Calvinsmam - his play was fantastic, they did a production of The Lion King, he was a hyena and actually stood on stage, right at the back and right on the edge was concerned at one point he would fall off. Very proud and tearful by the end. All the children were absolutely amazing.

I think if my landlord made me homeless I would be moved to Band B?

I wouldn't take it and would pray that your next two offers are more suitable. It sounds as if you could be isolated there even though you'd have more school contact

AFAIK if you're housed as emergency due to homelessness you are made only one offer which you must accept (otherwise you are intentionally homeless).

Morning!

Luckily I’m in no danger of being made homeless, I understand that the council tells you to stay in the property until the bailiffs arrive to evict, I can’t imagine how stressful that must be for families.

I have bid on 2 properties, a house and a bungalow that specified people with mobility needs are given priority. The house is in a village about 5 miles from my home town, the bungalow is in the city.

Good luck! 🤞😄